Trying to Conceive after Miscarriage or Loss October 2007 ~ #2

[STARRYSKY]

Thanx beaks, I think It is just "doin a beaksie" (as I will now affectionately refer to this condition!!lol)
xxx

[AJC]

Missbelinda - am so sorry to hear your news wasn't what you were expecting. I'm sure it will happen for you real soon though. You seem to have quite a positive & rational outlook on the whole thing.

Satya - take it easy and do everything that makes you happy. Read you fav book, watch your fav movies, listen to your fav cd's. Sending positive energies your way.

Starrysky - do you temp? If you do what does your temp say? If temp still high then sounds very promising.

Have a nice weekend everyone.

[kaib]

Hi everyone!

Just popping in to say 'hi' & to give a quick update. I went to the Dr on Monday after having the chemical pregnancy or m/c the week before. I went to a locum Dr as my usual GP is on holidays - worst mistake of my life as the locum was an absolute cow. She pretty much told me I was a fool for testing early, and I hadn't actually 'miscarried'. I asked her whether I needed to be checked out by an OB/GYN because I was still feeling sick, but she didn't think this was necessary. She told me I was "obviously quite particular" and that I shouldn't be worried that anything was wrong with me because statistically miscarriage is quite normal. She also indicated to me that I shouldn't be so uptight about these losses because both pregnancies had been quite early and were only "a bunch of cells" that I had lost. Obviously I don't have the same view on 'life' as she does.

I've since talked to a friend who is an OB/GYN who validated that I had had a second miscarriage or a chemical pregnancy - her words were if you lose a pregnancy after a positive HPT, then you have had a miscarriage. I guess this made me feel a little reasurred (i.e. not an absolute fruit loop as I was feeling), as I know that the lines I was getting on the HPTs were not false positives (given other symptoms as well). But she did say to me that statistically I was 'normal' - it's just I've had 'bad luck' twice in a row now. She did indicate that health professionals generally don't want to start investigating the cause of recurrent miscarriage until after 3 losses, but she encouraged me to go back to my normal GP once GP has returned from hols for further advice given I've got a good relationship with my GP. So I'm feeling ok about everything at the moment - I'm not feeling absolutely hopeless & I've stopped looking for something being wrong with me for the short term at least! I also started acupuncture on Thursday & must say that I'm feeling a lot more activity down there this month...what feels like ov pains & certainly a lot more CM - I felt the activity start about 30 mins after the acupuncture, which I think is a good sign!

Despite my experience last month with testing early, I'm not going to stop testing early. If it happens again (i.e. another chemical pg), in my opinion I will have had my 3rd m/c and then I'm going to seek further tests. So I won't stop testing early even though I know the potential heartache I'm exposing myself to.

Well enough from me. I apologise I haven't had a chance to do a lot of personals in the last week as I said I would - quite a manic week in all - but hope to catch up with everyone soon.

[satya]

Hi everyone,

Haven't had any more spotting so hopefully all is OK.

Starrysky - that must be driving you insane. Fingers crossed that you get a BFP soon.

kaib - what a truly awful experience you had with the locum. It doesn't matter how early you lose a pregnancy it's still a loss. I personally don't like the term chemical pregnancy as it makes it sound like your loss should somehow be less than if you were another week along. I would suggest though that you try to only test on the day your AF is due. Less disappointment that way. You may find that doctors will only investigate after 3 confirmed losses for instance when you have tested positive 3 times by blood test before they will investigate.... not sure on that though. A lot of doctors don't consider you pregnant just because you got a positive HPT. The whole testing process is not an easy one to go through either - and it can really do your head in and can also be very expensive so if your GP doesn't think it's worth doing yet don't stress too much about that yet. Good luck.

[STARRYSKY]

ajc I dont temp so I have no idea!!! Ireally should dig out that themometer.
kaib that locum sounds like a biatch! I am glad your friend was a bit more supportive, in regards to your early testing, I would do exactly the same, even if there "was" another mc, at least then you know it early and then something can be done to investigate possible causes. hope you are feeling better soon.

well, still no af! spoke to dp last night as is really starting to do my head in, told him exactly what I was worried about (see earlier post) trying to lighten the mood a bit he says "well thats it then, we are just never having sex again! seems like every time we do its doctors, hospitals, operations...!" but of course in the highly emotional state I was in I kinda found it hard to laugh at that!
anyway dp had to work today, so I was up at 6, couldnt go back to sleep, so here I am bright and chirpy on a saturday morning with nothing to do!!!
Hope you all have a lovely day and a fantastic weekend.
xxx

[treelo]

Hi everyone, sorry for the short absence, i just needed to get my head together after another bfn.

Missbelinda - im so sorry you had to go through a false positive. Maybe next cycle be can be belly buddies.
Pashe - hey sweety, yes she moved in on Monday and so far so good. She is very helpful and has been sneakily cleaning my kitchen cupboards while im at work.
AJC - I too would still test early so that you know. Isnt it horrible when dr are so nasty.
Starrysky - I hope you get some answers soon hun. And dont be too hard on DP - im sure he was just trying to be funny and men just dont get it !!!!!!
Satya - Im so glad the spotting has stopped. Best of luck hun.
Kaib - Our angels share the same name... I hope you both take care of yourselves and take it easy for a while. im thinking of you sweety.
Beaksie - Hi hun, how are you going?
LJ - Thanks for the chat hun, i really needed it.

Well im hoping this cycle will be IT for me. The timing is definatly much better than last cycle. DH finishes being on Call on Monday and we start BD on Wednesday i think. We O next weekend and im trying for every second day for at least 7 days. Im going to also buy some OPK's this cycle as well. I am taking the vitex and will stop taking it when i O. There is nothing else i can do except pray really really hard. Thanks to everyone for being so kind and wonderful, i dont know what i would do without all of you, you have become my rock almost.

hugs
treelo

[AnnaBelle]

Good moring girls,

Well it is day 26 for me and the tww shall be over soon I am going to
just try and hold off testing until AF is late - well that is the plan - and if it arrives on time well no need to test righ !!
Temps are still nice and high around 37 degrees every morning so fingers crossed they stay up there.

Penny - hi there glad the FS gave you some great news there - I iknow how you feel I am 36 and time is not on my side either - lets hope we both catch that little eggie soon. I am interested to know about the extra supplements you are taking.-
I am taking blackmores preg gold and that is all - do you know if you can take natural supplements as well as the blackmores?? Congratulations that things are OK and you can TTC with no worries according to the FS

STARRYSKY - Hi hang in there - so frustrating but hang in there!!

AJC - Happy weekend to you too!!!

Satya - hope the spotting does not come back - try to rest - hard i know.

kaib - What a nasty piece of work - you know sometimes I reckon male drs are kinder than the females - that is my opinion anyway - not all of them but i do think some female drs who probably have had a couple of babies and trouble free pregnancies just dont get it and don ' t empathise with fellow women who do have ups and downs in that department - women can be so cruel to their own!!
Thinking of you

HI TREELO - best of luck - it does help when DH is not working starange hours
hope everything settles down.

Beaksie - STARRYSKY has made you a legend here hasn't she!! "doin a Beaksie"
very cute - hope the next cycle is a good one for you!! Hope you get
your move back to VIC by Xmas xo

missbelinda - Hello there hope you are having a good day today

I better get off my butt and clean this house caio
annaBelle

[treelo]

Oh sweet Annabelle, im so sorry i missed you in my post. I hope you get a BFP hun...

speaking of bfp, on the way home from swimming lessons today, there was a car in front of me and the number plate was 693BFP.....has to be an omen !!!!!!


hugs
treelo

[missbelinda77]

Treelo - lol @ the number plate. Maybe I should get something personalised?

Annabelle - have fun cleaning hehe I'm having a work team meeting at my place today around 2pm, so I was madly cleaning last night and finished up this morning. Thank god it's over.

[AJC]

Kaib - I can't believe she said that to you! I would have cried me eyes out if it were me! I went into a public hospital for my first m/c d&c and it was terrible. I felt I was treated like just another m/c case instead of a woman who had lost a baby. Their attitude seemed a little 'it's very common, better luck next time'. I don't care how far along the pregnancy is - as far as I'm concerned these prescious little pregnancies were our babies and we are entitled to hold them as close to our hearts as we want to. I've just had my second m/c too and am seeing the most fabulous ob/gyn, he actually offered to do some tests for us before we try again - as you know that doesn't usually happen until you've had 3. There are Dr's out there who will investigate if you want them to, saying that there is nothing wrong with not wanting tests at this stage either. Same goes for the early testing, if you want to then do it. The only person who knows whats best for you is you - trust your own judgement. They haven't found a cause for our m/c's at this stage anyway. Still have a few more to do but have been a pin cushion for the last 6 weeks & the only thing we've found out is that I'm not immuned for chicken pox so have to go off and have a jab for that soon. I am starting to think that we've just been unlucky twice.

Good luck AnnaBelle - hope you get a BFP.

Sorry this is so long but read Kaib's post and that silly locum made me so angry.

[kiwigirl]

Hi everyone,

Wow this week has flown by! missbelinda I'm sorry how things turned out. kaib i am SO sorry you got treated like that / had those things said to you. YUCK. Did they not have ANY compassion in their bones? Meh. I'm hoping you have heaps of support xx

It's one week until we go on our big trip overseas and I'm guessing this will be the month with the easiest TWW since I'll be doing so much -- plus I won't be too stressed if no luck this month. Please don't forget me while I'm away! (You'll all completely free to leave this topic and graduate to the PAML one though!!)

Last night had a birthday dinner with 27 friends at a Thai restaurant, was totally fantastic. It'll be my 30th when I'm overseas so wanted to celebrate and thank friends and family for being there and supporting me so much during the hard times I've gone through this year. I'm starting to get a good perspective on everything and have so much to be thankful for in my life. I'm 100% healthy again, and have an absolutely amazing DH, incredible family and friends Thanks again to everyone here. I spent some of my darkest days on this forum and found so much love and support.

Hope you are having a wonderful weekend.

[kaib]

This will be a long post as I really want to write a few personals which I haven't done for a while.

Satya - thanks for your words of support. I really appreciate reading your contributions on this thread, even though you are a 'graduate' as such! I've decided that I'll give TTC a go for another couple of months, & if no success in that time, then I'll definitely be seeking out further tests, 3rd m/c or not. My understanding like yours is that they don't start to investigate until after 3 m/cs for funding/expense purposes. My friend who is the OB/GYN has encouraged me to be a bit more assertive with my normal GP & seek out some tests at this stage, & I've just read AJC's post about doing this too. In the meantime, I'm trying to think positively & keep occupied. I started some spring cleaning today which has been quite cathartic! I hope you're enjoying & sticking to your bed rest this weekend!

Starrysky - thanks for your words of encouragement too. Yep, I know the risks in testing early, but I guess I'm one that is going to want to know if this is a frequent occurrence for me or not. I'm feeling ok at the moment though. I think all the support from ladies like you on the forum has been a tremendous help. I hope you are doing ok.

Treelo - Yeh, I hadn't realised that we'd both named our little ones Hope until you pointed it out. I've read a lot about Africa, and done a couple of trips there, and just love the names they give to their children, so that's where I'd got the idea to name our two little angels in the same fashion. Mind you, DH would never let me name our children in the same way once we have them, but he liked the idea of naming our angels in that way. Thanks so much for your thoughts Treelo. Good move re buying the OPKs - I've found these to be most helpful - have only used them for the last two cycles, and they obviously nailed the time of Ov for the last cycle!

AnnaBelle - your temps are looking good! I really do hope this is your month. I agree with your comment about male doctors, although my normal GP is a female & she is just lovely. It was just unfortunate she was/is on leave at the time. My sister had to take my niece to see the same locum doctor as niece had croup - my sister only told me today she had exactly the same experience with that locum in terms of being made to feel like an absolute fool - my sister did actually cry in front of the locum, along with my niece who was obviously very distressed with croup but the locum didn't see it to be all that serious. It seems for that doctor tact isn't one of her better skills. Thanks for your thoughts.

AJC - trust me, I cried, but just not in front of her. I just mentioned to AnnaBelle that my sister cried in front of the same doctor (but about a different thing) & was made to feel like a fool. I'm sorry that you've also had to go through a similar experience with being made to feel like you were a 'statistic' & your m/c was just another case for them. I agree completely about the testing early - I'm still going to do it as for me, I need to know (good or bad) - I guess it's a 'control' thing. I will go back to my normal GP when next AF due - by that time she should be back from hols; so I'll have a long chat with her to see whether she feels I should seek further tests or referrals at this stage. I'm kind of thinking like you, that it's probably just two doses of bad luck; hopefully it will be third time lucky for both of us!

kiwigirl - thanks too for your words of support. I hope the planning for the o/s trip makes the whole TWW go super fast for you. And we won't forget you while you're away. I hope that your trip is fantastic for you & that a BFP will come your way when you're over there!

Miss Belinda & Acria - am thinking of you both as we've all weathered the same kind of thing around the same time. I hope you are both travelling ok.

Beaksie - I hope you are going ok. Thanks so much for your words of encouragement & empathy whilst I was away in Sydney, and at the time of the chem pg. I know we were both going through different experiences at that time, but they were tough all the same. I guess that's what I have appreciated most about these forums - i.e. that no matter what experiences & difficulties each of us are going through, and no matter how different or the same those experiences are, that everyone still rallies together to grieve with, empathise with, and support each other. And at the end of the day, we're all here wanting exactly the same thing!

Ok - over & out!

[Penny]

Hello Annabelle,
Just a quick post to answer your questions with regards to the supplements. My naturopath has put me on to fish oil and Q10 in addition to the Blackmores. She also gave me a herbal mix of various chinese fertility herbs. I can get the full list of ingredients if you are interested. She later added the premular (vitex) to the list. The clinic I go to specialises in women's fertility.
But check with your Doctor/Naturopath if you are thinking of going down that path... When I fell pregnant 6 months ago, I didn't take anything except folic acid.
Thanks for your kind words and for including me in your post. Your temps sound promising, hopefully AF stays away!!!

[AnnaBelle]

Hello everyone!!

Boy what a busy weekend i have just had - we are doing lots of things to our house so it keeps us very busy indeed - the latest is a new fence !!

Anyway just popping in to say hi -

Big thanks to you Penny - thank you for your kind offer of info - I think i will start exploring some extra supplements if things dont go our way in the next couple of months

Hi Treelo & missbelinda77,
kaib (yes I too am lucky to have a really nice female gp - but have had the bad luck to come across some really coldfish type female drs over the years - so i truly understand how awful you must have felt - hope you feel better after venting to us)

Thanks too for your wishes AJC

Glad your dinner was really fun kiwigirl you deserve it

Me - just waiting for AF or a BFP to come my way over the next few days!!!
It is cd27 now - got a few spots on my chin - so that could mean AF is on her way but then my bbs are feeling rather tender - but that could be my mind playing tricks on me - i will definatley keep you posted

Have a great sunday night ladies
AnnaBelle

[STARRYSKY]

hi everyone,
well finally.....went to the loo last night andaf is here!
I am just so happy that SOMETHING happened, im not too fussed that it wasnt a BFP, just glad that im normal i guess, i was getting quite worried, was a total nut case yesterday and couldnt get on the computer to talk to my support group (you guys!) as dp is doing a rebuild of the computer atm, this morning i have dug out the laptop.
well i suppose i should change my ticker now, wish my cycle would settle down! has anyones cycle gone back to normal at all? so far I have been 21,26 and 32 days....who knows what it will be this time!
hope you all had afantastic weekend, just wanted to update you all, will bbl for personals.
xxx

[Beaksie]

Hi Starrysky, starting to think you may have fallen off the planet
So sorry that AF arrived for you. It's unfair isn't it? The least she could do is be on time. Hope you're doing OK chickie, and not to disappointed.
Everyone else
Will bbl

[Beaksie]

ooh, got my av! Wish I had a figure like that, and dd had that much hair!!

[STARRYSKY]

nice av beaksie!!im hoping dp will upgrade me for xmas!!!then i can have one too....im sooooo jealous!