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thread: Trying to Conceive after Miscarriage or Loss ~ April 2009 #2

  1. #55
    Registered User

    Oct 2008
    Tasmania
    214

    Coco - So sorry sweetie. I so hoped it was our month I think AF is on her way here as well, haven't had any symptoms but I am so crabby today and that is a sign she is on her way. Poor DH. We all know exactly where you are coming from. I too, am so sick of seeing prams and pg bellies EVERYWHERE I go. It's like they are following me! I am so over putting on a happy face as I certainly don't feel happy! Unfortunately we can all try to do the right things but it still seems to be so much easier for the couples who don't plan or really want it.

    I have ended up ranting but I just wanted to jump on and let you know I am feeling exactly the same way and I really hope we all get our BFP soon, every woman here deserves it so much. we don't have to wait much longer.


  2. #56
    Registered User

    Dec 2008
    NSW
    227

    Coco hun.... my god your timinng of that post Just try to be strong hun it will be our time soon i am sure of it.could not have been better I know how you feel i completely agree..it just plain sux!!!!! There is really no other way of saying it straighter than you just have.
    I had a lady / sort of friend i sort fo knew throguh through a friend and because we were due around the same time we befriended each other...she came up to me and call me a biatch at Coles ( i was rather shocked ) i stupidily said what for and she told me in her way for carrying better than she was as she was a elephant and i didn't even look like i had gained any weight. I just looked at ther for a moment and i honestly don't know how but didn't cry but was strong enough to tell her that everyday i wished i was like her . She didn't get it then she started crying and kept trying to hug me and tell me sorry ( she didn't know our bub had died ).
    My buzz of having two eggs was gone.
    She rang and tried to say sorry again this morning and did the blah her life sucks she has no job no partner ( he left ) i just laughed at her on the phone and told her no you don't but you do have a baby in you that needs you to be a mother to it and that it was not all about her told her not to ring again and hung up. so my morning has been spent .
    Be strong hun its our turn soon i am sure
    Em
    Last edited by mrzbaby; April 18th, 2009 at 07:01 PM. : had person..she isn't even that!

  3. #57
    BellyBelly Member

    May 2008
    NSW
    696

    CONGRATULATIONS FIFI so pleased to hear about the welcome arrival of your little man . I love the name, "Charlie"
    I am so

  4. #58
    Registered User

    Jan 2009
    A Pirate Ship
    3,627

    Amazing? I got up this morning and wiped to see that my ?ever so slightly brown discharge which wasn?t even worth mentioning) has turned into bright red, so I was heading straight to my computer to find out if it could be implantation or something else. How wonderful (but not good that any of us are spotting) that you girls had been talking about it yesterday which answered my questions SO?

    Jen thanks for posting the link on spotting if my spotting had happened on any other day I would not think it could be implantation but today is 8 DPO so it very well could be! BUT on the other hand because we ttc straight away after D&C it could very well be that my lining is not thick enough and progesterone is low! OR just spotting because of what my body has been through! So while I still don?t know which one (if any) have caused the spotting if I am not spotting tomorrow I will take it as a good sign.

    Bobble did you have spotting in the cycle that you did get pg? I feel the same about the pill, depo and contraception in general. It totally stuffs around with your body. If I knew years ago what I know now I would have NEVER been on any contraception. I intend to educate my children about conception, female cycles their fertility etc and ?natural family planning? to either get pg or not get pg. The ?old? ?better take precautions, we don?t want our daughter getting pregnant thing? is so out dated! We have knowledge now! Ok enough ranting from me.

    Coco I?m so sorry honey. I know just how you feel? I am extreamly healthy as is dh and our health is our number 1 priority, it?s just not fair! Because of how healthy we are it made it even harder to comprehend that a m/c had happened to us iykwim? My dh?s sister had a baby a week or so ago and we haven?t even called her to see how they are doing! How bad is that!! but I just don?t want to know about it right now especially when none of the family know we were even pregnant?

    Hannah I hope you are doing well, I also love your ticker!!! It must be so lovely to have one again so enjoy it and everything else which comes with your pregnancy xoxoxo

    Shortcake I also had a dip in temp, I too am hoping it was just before implantation but mine didn?t go under the cover line. Did you do a search in the chart gallery on ff to see if it is common for an implantation dip to go under the cover line?

    Mrzbaby How horrible is that woman you know! So glad you told her what for and hung up on her! You do have 2 eggies to catch so chin up beautiful and enjoy your shag fest weekend heheheh

    Fifi Congrats and well done after so many hours in labour! Please tell me you are relaxing and enjoying every moment xoxox

    Mollycat I am so excited for you! It does seem like one appointment after another sometimes but each one is one more step towards holding your little bundle at the end

  5. #59
    BellyBelly Member

    May 2008
    NSW
    696

    Coco - hi.

    Like many women on this thread, I perfectly understand the feelings you are going through. I have lost four pregnancies and never felt confident enough to announce my PG's to friends or family. I would go to playgroup and it felt like every month there was a new PG announcement. While I am incredibly blessed to have DD, I have felt like I have robbed her of a sibling. She is such a lovely little girl and the guilt in me has been overwhelming. I felt I was failing her. It has been my love for her which has made me never give up.

    It has been very hard keeping a brave face. Some days have been so hard. I couldn't go anywhere without seeing PG women - Medicare, the supermarket, the beach. Early after my MC's I have been a little introverted, not wanting to go out, because it has been so emotionally painful to see larger families or PG women. And when I did the Miscarriage Investigation Program and tried IVF, I had to attend clinics and ultrasound rooms full of glowing PG women.

    BUT...... then something occurred to me. I did not know THEIR story. For all I know, that PG woman standing next to me in the Post Office may have been through the rollercoaster of ten IVF's before successfully falling PG. Or that family playing in the park may have suffered recurrent MC just like me. Maybe that PG woman at hairdressers has been through the agony of losing a stillborn or a child.

    Your feelings are perfectly normal. I know them too well. But I thought I would tell you about this, as it is what has kept me sane and kept my head above water. I hope this has been of some help xx

  6. #60
    Registered User

    Jan 2009
    A Pirate Ship
    3,627

    Hello again Where there's hope that is such a lovely way of thinking about things and it is so true I often think about things like that too and than I come across the teenagers, people drinking or smoking while pg (I can't believe some people still do that!) and the women who tell you all about it who have obviously never been through a mc or ttc hell because if they had they wouldn't be talking to you like they are... Then there is my favourite.... The pregnant woman who stands right in front of you asking you when you are having kids!

    Cricky I sound very bitter don't I??? I guess the moral of the story is that not 'all' pregnant woman are to be envied and there will always be the ones who we want to politely tell where to go.

    Sorry if I have put a total downer on your beautiful post Where there's hope I guess I still have some healing to do

  7. #61
    BellyBelly Member

    May 2008
    NSW
    696

    Cherished - no need to apologise. It has barely been weeks since your loss . Of course you feel angry and bitter. There is still a gaping hole inside of me - a heaviness in my heart, despite the promise and hope my new PG offers. The losses never leave you, but as cliched as it sounds, the days do gradually get easier. I totally agree about smoking PG women, etc. They are ungrateful, undeserving stupid cows!!

  8. #62
    Registered User

    Dec 2008
    Melbourne, VIC
    46

    Morning Everyone!

    WTH ~ I was reading Eliza's post and thinking about my reply, and then read your post. It must have been you who first put that idea in my mind. Eliza I hope it brings you comfort, because it certainly has helped me at my low points. Thank you WTH for so eloquently reminding us of the importance of empathy.

    We're still in 'playing it cool and relaxing mode,' so I'm not exactly sure where I'm up to in relation to O'ing!! I'm CD12, but I think that I O'ed sometime a few days ago because CM is starting to taper off again (sorry for TMI).

    I will be very surprised if we fall pg this cycle. We have had an uber stressful week this week!! MIL is at best a malicious spiteful woman (and I don't use those words lightly!) who has basically manipulated everyone around her into doing what she wants for most of her life. Long before DS was born we resolved she would never have close unsupervised contact with our children (at family functions we position ourselves so she is not left alone with him in the same room. Warning, bitter angry comment.....picture Christmas Day ~ just home from first trip to hospital, threatening to miscarry, all DH's family in our house, and DH and I trying to find space for me to rest, and to keep MIL away from DS!! It still makes my blood boil that he had to remind her countless times to keep the noise down as I was resting in bed....vile woman!!). In short on top of the things she continues to do to us and others, she has been conspiring to end my SIL's marriage since our neice (her baby) was born 9 months ago. This week DH finally said to her that we needed a break from her and she wasn't welcome at DS's 2nd birthday next weekend. As you can imagine it was a big call and has taken lots of our time and head space. To top it all off, DH has been very stressed at work this week. Too detailed to explain, but hopefully things will soon be right again at work at least. Anyway, who is the one that holds everything together when it's stressful and pear-shaped?? Moi! (as I can assume many of you also experience!). So, basically I don't think I've created a very good space for a small person this cycle....maybe next time???

    Sorry, I hadn't intended to put all that out here. We try very hard to not share it too freely, because we find we are inadvertently thinking and talking about her WAY too much and it stains much of what we do. I hope this make some sort of sense and you don't mind me venting.

    Take care everyone. I hope you all have lovely weekends and I look forward to hearing the details next week. Me, I'm off to pack some more....

    M

  9. #63
    Registered User

    Jun 2008
    Cardiff Heights
    856

    WTH & Cherished:

    Thank you sooo much for that. Up until this morning I had been thinking of it in that type of way but seeing AF I just lost my cool. Ill be ok in a few days but right now its just like a kick in the teeth and I too still have a lot of healing to do.

    I cannot belive that woman WTH!!! What a b1tch! You were well within your right to react like you did. Im glad you have the balls to do that I would have been like "oohh, its ok..."

    I cannot find anywhere that sells the fertility monitor sticks cheaper than what I see them...I am thinking maybe the monitor thing wasnt a good idea? lol esp when you cant get the sticks in aust? I might just be better off re-selling it and getting the OPK strips instead...anyone have suggestions on which ones? I got my PG POAS from mumstheone and they were pretty cheap, no evap lines so figuring the OPK will be as good?

    Hope you all have a good weekend..thanks for letting me blow my top..I went for a run/walk hoping to bring AF on fully but she has just dissapeared instead and left me with the lightest of spotting. I guess what was weird for me was the pains I was having were only on one side and like ovulation pains..not period pains. But if it is AF I am happy that I am not spotting for days before hand..My luetal phase was 12. Not bad..thats how long its always been i think..between 11-13 anyway.

    Bye bye!

  10. #64
    Registered User

    Aug 2008
    Adelaide
    1,488

    fifi - Congratulations on your having your little boy in your arms at last. I adore the name Charlie.

    boble - I'm glad we've been able to help. I think its easy for us to accept what doctors tell us because they should know best. But you know your body better than anyone, so if something doesn't feel right you deserve to get some answers. Goodluck.

    jen - I didn't have m/s this bad with my last pg'cy, so I'm hoping that its worse because I have an embie tightly snuggled in there. Emotionally I'm feeling better. I'm still on the same dose of Zoloft for the moment (just 50mg) and I think it really has made a difference. I don't have any side effects anymore and I have noticed a change in the way I think. I'm finding it really easy to focus on what I can control and on each day as it comes and not let myself get to overwhelmed by what may or may not happen in the future. And I am enjoying this pg'cy at the moment. Although, its hard because my MIL and SIL are staying with us and we don't want to tell them yet. I feel yuck but had to entertain them while DH was at work last night. At least he is home today so I don't have to feel rude when I need to leave the room. I feel so silly for hiding snacks in my own house. Okay so I think I've answered about 40 questions . Thanks for always thinking of me. I have everything crossed that this is your month (seeing as now I can cross my legs ).

    mollycat - There's a cosy little spot with your name on it over in PAML when you're ready. Congratulations again. I'm so excited for you. I think I was happier to see you got a BFP than I was to get my own. Goodluck with the appointments.

    Eliza - I'm so sorry RB showed .

    Mel - I hope your enjoying the new car. I'm still sending vibes your way. It ain't over 'til she shows.

    mrzbaby - What an awful woman! Her comments at the supermarket were fair enough because she wasn't to know, but to call you to apologise and then whinge about her life! Good on you for telling her off and hanging up. You don't need that in your life at the moment. I hope you feel better for having a cry, sometimes it helps to let it out. Now, to get to the important bit: Congratulations on having 2 eggs! That is very exciting news. Goodluck with the BD marathon this weekend. I really, really hope you can catch at least one of them.

    WTH - You are so right! A cousin of mine often says to "be kinder than necessary, for everyone is fighting some kind of battle". We don't know anyone's full story.

    cherished - that spotting is implantation. And you are right too. There are always pg women who are ungrateful.

    to everyone else.

  11. #65
    Registered User

    Oct 2008
    Tasmania
    214

    Coco - hi.

    Like many women on this thread, I perfectly understand the feelings you are going through. I have lost four pregnancies and never felt confident enough to announce my PG's to friends or family. I would go to playgroup and it felt like every month there was a new PG announcement. While I am incredibly blessed to have DD, I have felt like I have robbed her of a sibling. She is such a lovely little girl and the guilt in me has been overwhelming. I felt I was failing her. It has been my love for her which has made me never give up.

    It has been very hard keeping a brave face. Some days have been so hard. I couldn't go anywhere without seeing PG women - Medicare, the supermarket, the beach. Early after my MC's I have been a little introverted, not wanting to go out, because it has been so emotionally painful to see larger families or PG women. And when I did the Miscarriage Investigation Program and tried IVF, I had to attend clinics and ultrasound rooms full of glowing PG women.

    BUT...... then something occurred to me. I did not know THEIR story. For all I know, that PG woman standing next to me in the Post Office may have been through the rollercoaster of ten IVF's before successfully falling PG. Or that family playing in the park may have suffered recurrent MC just like me. Maybe that PG woman at hairdressers has been through the agony of losing a stillborn or a child.

    Your feelings are perfectly normal. I know them too well. But I thought I would tell you about this, as it is what has kept me sane and kept my head above water. I hope this has been of some help xx
    That's a lovely post and I completely agree. Everytime I envy a pg woman I tell myself I do not now what they have been through to become pg. However, I still have my bad days and that is what is so great about this thread. We can all vent when we need to and not have to feel guilty as we are still happy for these pg women we are just heartbroken for ourselves. There has to be a way we can express our feelings and I am so glad I found this thread. Although my hope in the future is that we can shut it down!

    I guess what I am saying is that although sometimes telling yourself they may have also had trouble may work other days we need to vent.

    Cherished - Looks like I still have some healing to do as well

  12. #66
    Registered User

    Jan 2009
    169

    omg i am so so sorry that my spotting seems to be catching i hope this is some how implantation spotting for you all.

    Coco - i find i am always in a mood when RB arrives.... it doesnt matter how prepared you are for it or if you are expecting it, it just gets you down. I know you will feel a little better in a few days.. and I hope hope hope that somehow it is still a sneaky bfp for you.

    Meh - sorry to hear your mil is such a horrible woman. sounds like a good idea to have some space from her! If not this month then next month will be your month for sure.

    WTH - that is such a lovely way of thinking about it. I was a pregnant teen with my son. I found out i was preg at 16 (almost 17) and he was a 'surprise' but what the average Joe looking at me wouldn't have known is that my older sister had just died in a car accident, only a few weeks before I found out I was pregnant... and now all the problems I am having ttc -maybe my little man is some how a bit of a miracle for me.

    Cherished - yep i had spotting in the cycle i fell preg last time.. and spotting all the way through the pregnancy *sigh* very annoying! If you look at my ff chart I have my preg chart there too so you can go and have a look at it if you want (its the one at the bottom) - although, i stopped charting once I got my bfp. Next time I will probably keep it up though. So sorry that RB has arrived next month hey.

    Mrzbaby - OMG i cannot believe that women. good on you for hanging up on her and telling her not to call again. Some people are just plain insensitive and stupid. Good luck with the two little eggies. xx

    Mel - i hope it isn't RB but instead a sneaky bfp.

    AFM - still no realy spotting yet today which is good. Acupuncture went well although my yin is still super low... she wants to see me weekly for now.. but once again we have a public holiday next saturday lol.. oh well, 2 weeks time I go back. HOpefully my yin is all good so she can put lots of pins in me in time for me to O. unfortunately that weekend is also our 1 year anniversary weekend and I really wanted to go away but looks like that won't be happening now but we are going to go out to dinner on the Saturday night at least.

  13. #67
    Registered User

    Oct 2008
    Tasmania
    214

    Fifi - Congrats on the birth of Charlie! And well done for enduring such a long labour

    Mrzbaby - What an awful woman. Whilst I am sure she felt bad afterwards I think you have done the right thing by cutting her out of your life. don't let her get you down and spoil your excited feeling of having 2 eggies

    Hannah - That's wonderful that you are having different symptoms to last time. It can only be good!

    Meh - Sorry you are having so much trouble with your MIL. It sounds awful and you certainly don't need that extra stress at the moment

    Boble - Glad the acupunture went well and your spotting has stopped. you get your BFP soon.

    WTH - Sorry, didn't mean to put a downer on your post either, what you wrote was lovely and very true.

    Better go, poor DH is dying to go and drive the new car (he hasn't driven it since I picked it up). We have been in the garden all morning and he has been so patient.

    BBL for some more persies.

  14. #68
    Registered User

    Jan 2009
    A Pirate Ship
    3,627

    Hi Boble I'm glad the acupuncture is going well (I LOVE it). Have you had a look at other ways to help boost your yin such as ayurvedic ways to boost yin? Maybe do a google on it? I don't think my spotting is the start of AF, I am only 8 DPO However I am on cycle day 30 (my usual cycle length) so I guess I will know tomorrow or the next day if the bleeding continues if it is AF or not? Although my temp is still high? hmmmm only time will tell! I'm sure you're anniversary plans will be special no matter what you, as long as you are together

  15. #69
    Registered User

    Jan 2009
    169

    Hi there Cherished. I am also taking "six flavour tonix" and DH has been given some other chinese herb tablets to take.. I have to take 8 of these little black tablets 3 times a day but dh has to take 60 of slightly smaller (worse smelling) little black tablets 2 times a day its a lot of little tablets. So hopefully that will fix us both up in terms of yin. Generally we have to try to eat a little healthier - not that we eat too much naughty stuff, but I am not a fan of salad.. I really really don't like how it tastes. So yeah, we need to try to eat more of that. And I am trying to make sure I make steamed vegies with each and every meal. *sigh*

    I hope that the spotting has more to do with a pregnancy and less to do with an af. Sound much better to me - and you too im sure

    Im sure we will have a good day no matter what we do.. I guess I just really wanted to do something super special for our first anniversary - i was really hoping he was surprising me to a long weekend in bali aim high i say :P

    I hope everyones weekends are going well. I have made lasagne for dinner tonight - it smells devine.. now to go make some steamed vegies

  16. #70
    Registered User

    Sep 2008
    Sydney
    1,413

    Im sorry everyone, my heart really does just break for everyone of you! Its not fair that we have lost our babies and its not fair its so hard to fall pregnant! Just wanted to tell you all I wish it were different. You are all strong, brave, incredible women who WILL make FANTASTIC LOVING MOTHERS. Just wanted to pipe in about clomid (the wonder drug that helped me conceive this bub) if any of you know your cycles are irregular or aren't ovulating at all then ask your doc about it as I know I would not have this bub if it weren't for it. Even though my preg last year was natural (after months of trying and not ovulating etc) my gyn was all for starting me on clomid after the M/C to give the TTC journey a quick kick start!
    Big Hugs for everyone. I just think all the time "wouldn't it be amazing if in just one month every woman on this thread found out they were UTD!" I would love to see it! xox

  17. #71
    Registered User

    Jan 2009
    169

    oh i missed your post Mel, thanks for the for a bfp.. fingers crossed.

    Erybery - thats so sweet. that would be awesome so we could all be in the paml thread together.. i would feel right at home there - so it sounds good to me hehe

    well, I have been panicking over my temp as it doesn't seem as high as what it was last time I got my bfp but i had a realisation this morning. My wake up time is now about an hour before what it was then.. so naturally my temp would be a little bit lower at that time of the day right? oh and then add another hour because daylight savings has finished.. so 2 hours difference - i think.. although - does daylights savings go backwards or forwards.. i always get it wrong. oh, no hold on.. so it is pretty much the same time - bugger - ok, i will continue to panic about it then oh i thought i found a light at the end of my tunnel silly me

    Oh, forgot to say Jen... while you are whispering at my chart.... mind whispering a bfp at the end for me like you haven't tried with everyone - but it still cracks me up that you got it right

  18. #72
    2014 BellyBelly RAK Recipient.
    Add Sunny Love on Facebook

    Apr 2009
    In a place where Love is what we breathe!
    1,070

    Red face

    Hey all!

    WOWZA for Fifi, a little boy sounds wonderful. Charlie is a gorgous name!

    Theres been lots to read thru since I last logged in! AF is still here slightly,unfortunatly! Hope my time will come soon and i'll have a ticker thats as cute as Hannah's

    Take care all! Sorry for no pursies

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