Hi friends....
sorry I have not been on you all know I'm mourning my child.
Just wanted to update on me... for those who wondered.
I have not been coping with this too well.. when I thought I was finally having closure I got a letter yesterday from the Genetics place and basically what it said was that the fetal tissue analysis found that the chromosome studies came out normal. My baby was fine. It was all my crappy body..I'm such a failure. And.. to top it off.. gender: XX (girl)
I was having just what I wanted a little girl.
I have been depressed since yesterday and hubby and I decided to name our Angel daughter Amy Grace. ( Amy= Beloved Grace= Blessing)

http://i241.photobucket.com/albums/f...P8fvCR9fai.jpg

So am back to the mourning game.. am still "spotting/lightly bleeding" from my D&C.... doc never gave me any meds which SUCKS... and I think I have a UTI!!!

anywho.... on a a happier note.. I found the perfect doc who is treating a close friend.. she just had an IUI with that doc today and she recommends him to me 100%. His office is a few minutes away from my new apartment ( BTW I'm moving this weekend)
and all in all.. he is a fertility specialist and a Perinatologist (the docs who specialize in women with recurrent miscarriages)
...sooooooo basically the reason for all my miscarriages isssssss.....drum roll.. Insulin resistance ( F*****ing PCOS!!!!!!!

My body is a failure.. I'm a failure as a woman for not keeping y babies and basically I feel like crap. (excuse my language)
I don;t want to bring my dark cloud on no one... just that I'm sick of miscarrying.. When I spoke to the doc I was in disbelief that now is it that they take me seriously.. it looks like if a woman has less than 3 m/c she is not considered high risk.. so WTF??..you have to have 3 losses to be taken seriously??.what is wrong with docs today..??..guess I reached their limit.. 3 is enough. I won't handle any more losses.

This doc even e-mailed me shows he cares.. I am to start seeing him in the end of October to see what he has in plans for me.. basically he might leave me on Metformin throughout a future pregnancy and I will have progesterone suppositories cuz low prog is another reason of my losses.
So at least among all this I have hope.. the docs can prevent this now. I just want to be preggo again and finally have the happy ending I thought I was going to have.. but as you know.. I didn't..again.

..this is it.... I'm just getting through this sh**tty month and hope for the best when I start seeing this doctor.

I would have been 13 weeks today and so happy.. unfortunately it isn't that way.
I am praying for all of you to be doing ok .. those who got their BFPs.. I wish you the very best.... and those TTC... **baby dust****

I might not be on too much cuz I'm moving this weekend and dunno when I will have internet again.. I hope the redecorating and stuff keeps my mind off all this.. its hard cuz I'm still bleeding a bit and every time I see that blood it reminds my of my empty womb. I feel like a wounded animal.

Love you all girlies. Good luck and my best wishes are for yo all. ♥

Ruthie