Sorry I haven't been around much the last couple of days. Just been busy with work and stuff. I've still been reading everyone's posts though and you are all still in my thoughts.
Jenushka, I am so deeply sorry to hear your news. My heart dropped when I read your post. Take as much time as you need to grieve, and do anything that you feel will help you heal. But always, always remember the sound of your angels heart beating, and that little foot wave that gave you so much joy. You have an infinite amount of love to give a baby, and you WILL get that opportunity. Take care sweetheart and never forget that we are hear for you and that you are in our thoughts during this sad time
jenushka... I am sooo sorry. I wish I had the magic potion to prevent anyone from having to go through this...but I don't. It is different for everyone so my advice is just let your emotions go and take care of you...my thoughts are with you and your family.
pbstar...EDD is a difficult time to deal...mine was last Friday...I kinda said a prayer and pampered me for the day...however you choose you will get through...thinking of you
jenushka--OMG...my heart is absolutely broken for you! I sit here in tears reading your post, and I'm just completely at a loss for words... I know nothing I say can take away your pain or make you feel better. Please don't apologize for posting here--or thinking you're bringing us down--you're still a part of this thread, therefore you're family! I'd be sad if you didn't let us know....
Why is it that you have to wait 4 months to TTC again? Is it because of the D&C? Oh, hon, I wish I had the remedy...the magic words that could just take it all away... My thoughts and prayers are with you sweetie! Please let us know if there's anything you need--you know we're always here if you need to vent--feel free to PM me if there's anything I can do!
Easha--Enjoy your skiing trip! By the looks of your chart, this is perfect timing for a getaway! It worked for tina, so my for your BFP in a few weeks to come! Hoping that without the computer you can put all your focus on just enjoying your time with DH! Did you remember to pack your thermometer? I guess that would defeat the purpose of taking your mind off TCC, but just had to ask! Will look forward to hearing all about your trip next Wed!
plc--Waited to chat with you.... you must've been a sleepy mama! Can't wait to see some belly pics soon!
pbstar--My thoughts and are with you on this day of your angel's EDD... take extra special care of yourself today!
mollycat, megsmum, and AJC! Big to you all!
Krystie--Am sure missing you and your sense of humor! Hope things are ok with you!
tutmae--Where were you this am? Missed chatting with you!
Jenushka: I just don't know what to say! I am just so so SO SO sorry hon, and totally lost for words!
Jen: Have a cold, so laid low today. FF still hasn't told me anything new, so I don't know whats happening.... I'm trying to hold out to poas but I don't know how long that will last! I had terrible heart burn last night (which I've never had before) but I'm trying not to read anything into it, except that maybe red onion before bed isn't a good idea.
tutmae...I had heartburn yesterday also...and I've been peeing often...sign
when will you test? AB is due for me Monday...I don't know if I'll make it I just happened to have a Dollar store test yesterday but of course it was since I was only 9 DPO I knew it would be but I am addicted!
Smi: Thinking of testing on Sunday (you know, even days). Don't know when AB is due as my cycles are so wacky, all I know is that I o'd around cd 15 (last tuesday) or so.... Hmmm, so by that maths if my cycle is 28days this time I should test after monday. So maybe tuesday. or sunday. Do I sound undecided? Heehee.
Smi: Well, in that case I'll probably test on Sunday too. Can't get a test today as DH has the car and the walk to the chemist with a full bladder is not very appealing!! So, if I test our Sunday morning, that will be your saturday night..... I think. Confusing!! for you hon!!!!
Jenushka~ I'm so very sorry you are having to feel this pain again no words can take away your pain just stay strong and don't give up we are all here for you sweetie ...
Last edited by Toccara50; August 2nd, 2008 at 02:28 AM.
: spelling
Jenushka: I'm crying right now! My heart goes out to you!! I have been there twice and I know the pain! I wish I had something brave to say.. I'mj ust crying right now! May God place your angel in his wings and allow him or her to play with both my bubs in heaven!!!!
My heart goes out to you!!!!
Jen805, Rachelswirl and Easha!! My best wishes going your way!! You girlies have been great!!! I pray you all have your blessings soon!!
Another thought.. I have come to realize that Since day 1 for me I have felt like you all made me feel right in place. I never felt left out SINCE DAY ONE!! That only tell me how amazing you women are!1 I hope God blesses you all. You women are really special to me.. miles apart.. it doesn't matter!! You women are amazing and I feel blessed when I hear from each and every one of you!!!
I was MIA yesterday sorry I was in cleaning mode this apartment was filthy!1 I do know I have to take it slow though.. doc said not to stress or fuss too much as things can still go terribly wrong with my bub.
On a happy note... You all know how faint my BFPs have been.. (I read that if Pg isgoing well HCG increases as days go by..) so I asked hubby to buy me one last HPT to see if my BFP remained faint or got darker (if faint I am supposed to be concerned)
soo.. here is my faint BFP on 7/22/08
I ran to hubby and he was like WOW!!! I have never had such a dark BFP EVER!1 Not with Erick (he even gave me a neg blood test 3 days b4 u/s revealed he was there)
and with my 2 angel babies...faint too!
We are happy....and yet super worried as a BFP doesn't not guarantee you the bub will make it 9 months ya know?..I think I will worry until I have my newborn in my arms. Then and only then I will sigh with relief that my bub will make it!! Next Friday I get my progesterone shot..so that's another worry out of my way!!
For now I just have to wait for my next u/s in hopes they find a healthy bub. like I said..this baby is mending my broken heart.. if he dies my heart will die with him or her.. I don't think I can handle any more pain!!!
But anywho.... I just wanted to thank you all for making me feel comfortable here! the support you all have given me means a lot to me!! I hope God blesses you all with healthy full term babies!!!!!
I will be for you all!!!
Hi all, wanted to give big hugs to Jen and WTH xxxxxxxxxxx my thoughts are with you...
Now I'm going to throw around a trillion tonnes of
for August and some more BFPs
Angel- how about making some beautiful chocolate 'mudcake' (rich and gooey cybercake) sprinkled with.....
I'm still lurking, and ALWAYS hoping for you ladies xxxxxx
afm 28+2 weeks and am well. It's the 5 week summer break here (school holidays) so am 'off duty' for a while (boy do I need this rest!!)
Much love and hugs xxxxxxxxxxxx
Everyone - I can't thank you enough for your incredibly kind words of support. Although I am shedding a tear, each time I read a post it is helping me to feel it. I had felt myself shutting off a little bit, but I know the only way to heal is to go through all the pain first. Very daunting but necessary.
This time I think I'll be looking for a bit of extra help to get through it - will be starting counselling as soon as I can. I think I used up all my reserves of strength getting through my last m/c.
I think I'll also be looking for some answers. I am saddened that according to the medical profession I must go through this again in order to be classed as "recurrent" and get access to tests and clinics. At my strong insistence I have got a referral from my ob for the recurrent m/c blood tests, but she downright refuses any tests to check out my uterus and tubes etc saying that I have one healthy child so therefore everything there must be all right (?). She also said next time I am pg there is "no point" doing reg scans around the time of my losses for peace of mind as it "won't help". No, maybe not to save the baby if anything is wrong but it will stop me going insane and if something happens to the baby I'll know sooner...I'll be seeing my wonderful GP this week to talk to her about a referral to the most sympathetic gyno she can think of ... maybe even fs? Next time round I want to know I've looked into everything I could. Also maybe different ob next time too - she is wonderful when you're pg but kind of switches off when you lose a pg.
Jen - as for waiting 4 months - that was according to ob advice again. I think I'll wait to see what the testing after the d&c says and decide where to go from there. After the last m/c I wanted to be pg again NOW, but this time not so sure. But then, not sure if I gave myself lots of time and it happened again how I would feel...
D&C now scheduled for Tuesday - am holding this baby close until then and giving it every bit of love I have. I wish it could know just how sorry I am...
You are the best bunch of girls ever, and thanks again. I have felt every single one of those hugs ... here's a big one back. I will continue to lurk, (as this is my second home!), and maybe soon I can join you again when I feel brave enough to get back on the rollercoaster...
jenushka- huge hun. you are such a strong and amazing woman and you will get through this...counselling sounds like a great idea to help though. it saddens me too to think you are supposed to go through this yet again to get any tests/answers- stay strong and keep pushing for what you know you deserve.
please stick around and let us know how you are, you don't have to be ttc yet to be part of this family, you are one of us so no need to lurk, just jump in and vent and take advantage of all of the support we want to offer.
getaway! It worked for tina, so my 
for your BFP in a few weeks to come! Hoping that without the computer you can put all your focus on just enjoying your time with DH! Did you remember to pack your thermometer? 
I guess that would defeat the purpose of taking your mind off TCC, but just had to ask! Will look forward to hearing all about your trip next Wed! 
are with you on this day of your angel's EDD... take extra special care of yourself today! 
mollycat, megsmum, and AJC! Big 
since I was only 9 DPO I knew it would be but I am addicted!
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