thread: Trying to Conceive after Late Loss, Still Birth or Recurrent Miscarriage June '08 #2

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  1. #34
    Registered User

    Jul 2008
    Sweden
    148

    Hi ladies,

    Sorry to hear that you've been down, Rozzie, hgirs and sryan. I understand your frustrations of course. The only thing anyone can say is for us to be patient and calm down, and that it will just be harder to get pregnant if we're all worried -- but if you're anything like me, you then start to worry about how you're worrying too much to get pregnant! I can just offer a comforting and remind you that you HAVE gotten pregnant before; that wasn't where it went wrong for us, right?

    There I go again, soothing others with comfort that I don't really accept myself, heh.

    Every period is so hard. One of my friends that gave birth the day of my loss had a miscarriage in week 8 a year before getting pregnant with this one. They followed their doctor's advice and waited 4 months after her D&C to start TTC again. She was telling me that she thought it was bad that we were TTC again right away, even though my doctor said it was fine. She thought the pain was too raw. Then later we were talking about her process of grieving and healing after her M/C, and she said that, strangely enough, the biggest dip in depression happened in December, 4 months AFTER the M/C. I said "Right when you started TTC again in other words?" She's never thought of that before... but I think it sort of shows that, no matter if we wait or not, we have some fire to walk through before we come out on the other side. But we'll get there. And I wish for us to TRY to enjoy our lives, our DHs and partners and families and friends in the meantime, as much as we can.

    We had some friends over for dinner on Saturday. A girlfriend that has been pretty important in making me feel loved and supporting me after our loss. They were really late so the food was already ready when they came, and she looked at it and said she had to decline the food "for health reasons." I knew immediately what she meant, but we stared at each other for a long silence before she said she was 13 weeks pregnant. DH was really good at saying Congrats, and I tried my best just not to cry or say anything stupid. I can't help but keep thinking about how her baby was conceived in the month between us going public with our pregnancy and us losing our baby, and that she must have found out she was pregnant within days of me calling her and saying we'd lost ours. So weird. Now I desperately hope we have luck this month... otherwise my feeling of being left out is eating me up because she, too, has gone over "to the other side"!
    Last edited by Tildy; July 7th, 2008 at 05:37 PM.