I know Rozzie, you would think with what you've already been through that you've earned a dream pregnancy, not one filled with stress and worry. I wish there was something I could say to make it less stressful for you. At least you have lots of support here from people who understand what you're going through. Take care of yourself. xox
sorry girls I am home with nothing to do today and have posting like a madwoman! Sue I only just read your discussion with Rozzie re endometriosis. You should definitely ask about that. My best friend hadn't been able to fall PG for about 2 yrs and had a laparoscopy and was diagnosed with it. She had to have another to remove it and then fell PG straight away. She had a MC and then fell PG again straight away and now has a healthy and happy 16mo. She is actually ttc again and is about to go and get it checked again because she is having trouble. Another mother I know had similar story as well. If you have got it, I think its pretty easy to get rid of as long as it is not in the actual overies. I agree with Rozzie, I don't think it shows on a US unless very extreme. Weird that you would be put on IVF without checking it though??
Rozzie - I am so sorry that you are having to go through this.... why can't we have H & H Pregnancies, instead of constant worries. I will have my fingers crossed that with your scan that in its not low lying.....
Mrs Robbo, thanks for your advice. I think it would be strange if I havent been tested (had so many tests!!!) before starting IVF. Though I think before I started IVF, that my local GP sent me off to have the tubes checked with dye etc and I think this might have been done at the same time. I am going to the local GP on Monday to check. Though with my first session of IVF I fell pregnant (though I lost the angel at 12 weeks). You would think that pregnancy wouldnt have been achieved....
Sue,
They probably would have seen any endo when they did the tubes dye test, I'm assuming they did a laparoscapy and would have had a look around at the same time. Hoping that's the case because endo can be nasty.
Rozzie - Did they put in your medical notes that you did have a vertical incision? Just wondering because your OB said 'he thinks', can they find out for sure?? I can understand your concern, esp wanting a bigger family. I have heard that it is very common to have the classical section with preemies, I just hope all will be ok for your future babies.
Mrs Robbo - I hate that you have felt that gut wrenching feeling too, but I guess unfortunately there will be more of those times throughout our lives! And yes I was only complaining that day about how horrible a night DS had just had, now I couldn't care less if I had no sleep, he is here, that is ALL that matters.
I am having a weird cycle this time, am 11dpo, yesterday started really light spotting, temp still up, this morning temp has come down a bit, still spotting. I am assuming AF is on her way (*itch!)but I have never had this happen before, so I am patiently waiting for tomorrow's temp and see what happens, I think I am clutching to all the straws in my cupboard!!
hey girs,
no personals and this will be a cut and paste in both preg and ttc sides sorry! Headspace has completely gone to meltdown, Madisons service is on friday, I knew it was coming sometime around now but this last week seems to have moved so quickly and when i realised that she was going to have her official goodbye the "finality" of the last 3 weeks has proven to be a bit much. Coping in the day and not so great still at night, its the killer. Can't sleep, wake up exhausted the next day. i think that is why i am trying to keep myself busy so i can get my body going. Dh and i have been not so great either, i really just don't think he gets that we both are going through the emotional part but i am dealing with the physical also, and THAT is harder. and he has said when am i going to have time for him, i exploded. I asked him what exactly he had in mind going by what i have been through the last 2 weeks. I'd be 25 weeks this week and that is hard to get out of my mind. I go back to work next week after 3 weeks off and THAT is hard to think about. I don't think i am ready and am really nervous about it...actually,nervous, no....scared to get back out there again. This week has been the realisation of how real my hurt is and i really think the last 2 weeks have been spent in some blind denial. i just don't understand why we had to lose her too. My daughter asked why we can't bring our babies home like everyone else does, how do i answer that? So, i have just avoided being here although i have so far felt it really important to stay here, this week week felt i could'nt cope with it. But today just thought screw it, thats what we are all here for...take care guys!
xx jo
Oh Jo , you have me in tears, I remember those feelings so deeply, but I can only hope you feel us holding your hand through all of this. I don't know what you say to your daughter... and I too had moments like that with my DH, still do sometimes. You are right a lot of men just can't quite comprehend the magnitude of the mother's loss, and it is so very primal on every level, emotional, physical, social. Have got any sleeping pills?? I tried them, they didn't really work for me, but maybe I just didn't take enough, I was worried I wouldn't wake for my DS. Sleeping is so hard and the nights are just horrible. There is nothing I can say that is going to make this journey easier for you, just know you are constantly cared for.
I must be in a mood today. I was a tiny bit snippy with DH this morning (although less so than I am normally! I think I've been such a mellow good girl towards him these last couple months) and am very easily upset right now. I believe it's going to be another day of occupying my chair at work but not much more.
I don't know why you've had to go through all this, Jo. It's just not fair, and that's the long and short of it. I won't say that things happen for a reason or tell you how good the odds are that things will go well for you next time or try to say "At least you have..." or any of the other nonsense that people said to me that made me feel they were trivializing my grief. I don't believe any of those things, but rather, I just feel that it's so incredibly and stupendously unfair.
Helen, Sue, Rozzie, MrsRobbo, danek -- I've read your posts so I'm not ignoring you, but I'm feeling drained and crabby. Hope you don't mind if I just send you a virtual And of course, congratulations to Cindee.
I'm so sorry you are having such a rough time of it and that DH is not making things any easier. I don't think there is anything anyone can say to make this pain go away. I thought I was doing really well and then have had a rough couple of weeks. I went to see a psychologist earlier in the week and whilst it wasn't much help but one thing he did reinfornce was how normal all my feelings were. I guess that is something important for you to know also. It is perfectly acceptable that you are a mess at the moment and anyone who is expecting you to be holding it all together obviously has no idea. I don't mean DH, just anyone in your life who is being less than supportive.
Don't feel like you shouldn't be here either. I think everyone feels the same at one point or another because perhaps we don't fit the title of the thread exactly. I think what is most important is that you have people here who understand your pain and can offer you support. If everyone in each thread were exactly the same, we wouldn't be much help to each other so I think it is great that everyone is on a different journey and at different stages. I can't imagine you would fit in any better or worse anywhere else.
Right now, just take as good a care of yourself as you can in the circumstances and don't worry about anyone else. You can sort all that out later when you feel more able to see things from others point of view. Right now yours is the only experience that matters.
I just read your thread and Im in tears, I cannot even imagine the grief and pain of losing your baby girl. All I can offer you is my prayers that she live a life eternal in paradise with our Father, and know that,thats where you will see her again. She'll be waiting for you.
I know reading the Good Book is helping me through my current situation with this pregnancy, low hcg levels, non stop light bleeding, thinking I'd miscarried then not so as my levels kept increasing and then many many TVS ultrasounds and just not knowing is the hard part so I have been praying and thats whats keeping me sane. Our world is much too secular and sometimes just being in a quiet place talking to God can help, it may not be for everyone and it may not be for you, so just in case it isn't I'll keep you both in my prayers.
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Did they put in your medical notes that you did have a vertical incision? Just wondering because your OB said 'he thinks', can they find out for sure?? I can understand your concern, esp wanting a bigger family. I have heard that it is very common to have the classical section with preemies, I just hope all will be ok for your future babies.
, you have me in tears, I remember those feelings so deeply
, but I can only hope you feel us holding your hand through all of this. I don't know what you say to your daughter... and I too had moments like that with my DH, still do sometimes. You are right a lot of men just can't quite comprehend the magnitude of the mother's loss, and it is so very primal on every level, emotional, physical, social. Have got any sleeping pills?? I tried them, they didn't really work for me, but maybe I just didn't take enough, I was worried I wouldn't wake for my DS. Sleeping is so hard and the nights are just horrible. There is nothing I can say that is going to make this journey easier for you, just know you are constantly cared for.
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