hi girls!
have been thinking of you guys all week so far but have'nt had a chance to get on and actually sit and write!
I got the first of Madisons birth certificates in the mail and was hoping they would include jacks name on it even tho due to his age we did'nt have to register him...and they did! It felt really wonderful to see my kids names all there even tho the certificate is surrounded by sadness it is a wonderful keepsake now with everyone on it nonetheless. Surprisingly it did'nt upset me even tho i have checked the letterbox daily for it - i think largely because of Jack being included. The pretty commerative one is still on its way. that has been ordered with a picture of babys footprints so i think that will be the harder hitting one. Dan was out on sat night and i had a major sook over jack and madisons photos, but the nights are slowly getting easier.
i am madly trying to organise 2 birthday paries for my kids.Time has creep up and at this rate no one will be able to come because i am leaving it so late! they are oct 6 and 20th and because of all that has happened i want to do seperate ones instead of a combined one. So i have a nagging neck ache from sitting on ebay trying to find items for a birthday cake for my son that are avaliable O/S but hardly in Aust! ARGH! 480 items later my brain is fried.....

flowerchild - thank-you for writing! your calming effect is wonderful! i have about 1000 questions for you! i have my appoint with monash coming up at the start of next month for madisons autopsy results and kinda want to go in prepared. On the off chance they say they can't find anything (as a few blood tests have already come back saying this) is there any questions or tests i should further ask for? If they do come back with something you know i'll be hitting you up for some support also! and thanks for your story about Imogen -its how i feel. I feel i am still meant to have another earth baby. How can you argue with your heart?
sue -i know what you mean about staying here in this group...i felt the same. I felt i had to go into the preg one as i needed to tell myself i was preg and give into some hope but i have always felt very comforted here too. So yes! Stay!!!!
mrs robbo -can't wait to hear about your trip!!! hope the weather was wonderful!
hammi - if you ever come to melb and you have some time give me a shout and we'll catch up! melb is an awesome place so it is sad it is tagged with sad memories! (i grew up in syd!)
hgirs -i second hammis advice! book the holiday and give yourself something to look forward to! It was quite wonderful to read you "may" be 5 months around then.....
katie -i hope you are going ok!!!!
cindee -how are you feeling?
tildy -3 weeks off -i am very jealous! we are hoping to getaway in jan -i am hopeful that i can hit work up for some unpaid time off! fingers crossed! Some queensland weather may be the answer!
take care everyone! i am back off to ebay to search for dora now! argh!!!
xx jo