Hiya ladies. I've just been to the OB and it was good news. Of course, I only slept about 2 hours worrying about the appointment (and about driving for the first time all by myself -- I passed my driving test Monday), so when I explained everything that's happened since the last time I saw this guy (he was the doctor that found the hematoma 2 weeks before we lost Beiron) the tears just ran and ran. He was nice about it, grabbed me a Kleenex and rubbed my arm. Oh, and this is the OB that was in a drunken university student orchestra together with my hubby, so I was a little torn between "oh, at least I know he's nice" and "damn, even more embarrassing that I haven't shaved my legs for ages" and "but heck, I've seen pictures of HIM naked".

Anyway, the actual news was: the placenta has moved up, so now it's just "low lying" (the bottom edge of the placenta just reaches the cervical os) and he saw no black spots that would be the hematoma. He suspects it bled out for good on Monday morning, when I had a teaspoon-sized clump of coagulated blood come out. This means that instead of having a "great chance despite complications" I am currently in the rather awesome land of current having "no complications". My thyroid levels are good (I've had hypothyroidism since I was 8) and they're going to test again in 4 weeks.

I think I'd be more relieved if I wasn't so tired, but it's also one of those times when the good news is tough to take. Just like when we first saw the heartbeat at 6 weeks, the feeling of seeing the baby ticking and kicking just sort of strengthens the terror about losing it.

I so know what you mean, Sue... I guess it's great that most ladies can be thinking about diapers and baby names, but I can't handle it yet. People are asking me about names all the time or about what I think about different pain solutions for the birth... I just raise and eyebrow and think, geez, I can't focus on those things yet. Or... part of me wants to, but I think I shove it down. DH and I act more like it's some sort of illness I have that has to be monitored.

I'm going to go back to bed now and get the sleep I didn't get last night. Then maybe... then maybe I'll take my new driver's license out to the baby store...