CONGRATULATIONS THERESA What a great way to start the day, and the year! I am so happy for you and Julian. You became a soon to be honest woman and pregnant in the same month! Couldn't get better than that!
Last edited by dd0207; January 14th, 2009 at 06:42 AM.
Theresa, I had to sneak on this morning at work to check - AND WHAT AMAZING NEWS! I am so over the moon for you. Congratulations!! The first BFP for the year. You'll have a big smile on your face all day.
so here I was catching up on everyone's posts and thinking it was tomorrow that Theresa was POAS and the whole time her BFP was sitting right there down the list!! I am beside myself with excitement. It seems like so long since we have had a BFP in here that its like the first time all over again. Theresa you have started a new trend in here and all us ttc girls are hot on your tail!! Enjoy your day today and send some of your BFP vibes our way pleeeeeeeeeeeease!!
Diana: 22 days PG, you go girl. How awesome if you got a BFP pre IVF. We're on a roll in here now so you never know!
Teagz: First AF is such a confusing time. I can remember how desperate I was just to be PG again straight after I lost Charlie and each AF reminded me that I wasn't. One thing I can say now is that I am still desperate to be PG but having had that bit of time in between has helped me build my confidence about this next pregnancy. I know its a catch 22 but it truly does mean you have at least another month to mend your body and your heart.
Jo: I am so excited re your psychic session. I do hope you get lots of positive news for us. I'm not sure if I mentioned that I went to see 2 psychics. The second one predicted I would have a boy (first one a girl) and then have a 3rd bub which DH and I have absolutely no plans for. She did say though that I am involved in a support group with other women that is really important to me... at least she was right about that!! Make sure you tell us exactly what she says. Will you get a chance to talk to Jack and Madison? If you do, say hi from all of us xox
Tildy: what a superstar mum you are. 29 weeks and flying. Sound like you should be the pin up girl for 29 weekers. I was so thrilled to read your post and hear you sounding so positive and confident. Good on you!
Megan: I know I should know but where are you at with ttc. I feel like I have missed all your updates. Please fill me in. Aren't you around the same time as the rest of us??
Helen, Jo, Diana, Tildy: re the exams. I finished my law degree so am a lawyer, but I need to get admitted to practice in the Supreme Court. I had to do a total of 5 exams and a few other bits and pieces. I have done 4 with 1 more to go tomorrow. Perfect timing so I can relax and start focusing on growing this bambini which is now 3 days old!!
Hi to everyone else. Back to the books for me, but will be using this site to procrastinate throughout the day so please post lots of interesting stuff for me to read!!
Oh Lan, you sound terrible. Please don't leave us. Of course I understand that you need space. How awful that you have to go through such a yucky time. I was only thinking yesterday after I read everyone's post what a good mood it put me in.
I remember not so long ago when I was lurking around here and I used to get on the computer in the wee hours of the morning and read everyone's stories and just cry and cry and cry. It was such an emotional time.
Now I feel like this thread has such a positive vibe about it and is a source of joy rather than sadness. I guess it is easy to forget how quickly we can be brought crashing back to sadness. I often say to people who ask how I'm doing that I never knew how close tears could be to the surface. I hardly ever used to cry and now it doesn't take much at all No matter how happy I am, I am still only a heartbeat away from being an absolute mess.
I think you should go and cry and throw as many tanty's as you want. Know that we all love you beyond belief and will be here for you whenever you need us. We all need to take a break every now and then. As long as you don't go getting any BFP and not telling us!
I'm feeling really good today so I will send you some of my good vibrations (picture me singing that to the Beach Boys tune in my hawaiin outfit sipping on a (non alcoholic in order of me being 17 days PG) margarita.... oooh and give me a nice suntan as well.)
There... done... you are officially good vibrated!
For some reason, I can't get on to page 1 so sorry if I have missed any posts after my previous one this morning.
Paula, best of luck with the last exam tomorrow. I studied Law for a year and felt it wasn't my path at that time - stupid idiot. I totally regret not finishing now but I was young and stupid and just wanted to travel the world, not read books as thick as bricks.
Lan darling, I am really worried about you. I wish I could give you a great big hug but for now you will have to settle for a cyber one We will catch up whenever you are ready however I do have broad shoulders in case you change your mind.
We all understand your need for space so take as much time as need but remember we are all here for you if you change your mind within an hour or so.
Unfortunately, just when we see a wee bit of light at the end of the tunnel, someone switches it off. I think we will always go through this roller coaster of emotions until we meet and hug our angel babies again.
Take as much time off as you need, cry and shout and try not to let this process affect your relationship with DH. As we have all discussed before, they are on an entirely different planet when it comes to dealing with this stuff and we will never make them understand how entirely shattered we feel - from both losing our babies to the whole TTC process. I mean lets be honest, they have one job to do and to top it all off, we tell them when to do it!
Please take care of yourself and I am only an email, phone call or website away if you need someone who totally understands how you feel and will have a good cry with you.
Thank you girls for all your excitement! I am sitting here with tears in my eyes and thank my lucky stars that I found such wonderful friends on this forum.
I went to my GP this avo and she did another HPT which showed another BFP. I will have the blood test results tomorrow!!! At this stage it is estimated I am about 4 weeks pg. Estimated due date at this stage is 18 Sept!!!
I know this is going to be an amazing year for all of us!! You girls have to follow my lead so we can chat through each others pregnancies.
I am so excited but also a little nervous. Next step is to make an appointment with the OB.
Rozzie - Some people just have no clue!I think they try to be funny - and it never is! I can't wait to hear your good news - and I think it is a boy too!
Sue - WOW!! I wish I had that much leave!
Everyone else - thanks again for your congratulations!! I am still in a bit of shock but it will sink in I am sure
I totally understand where you are coming from. Remember I wasnt there too long ago myself and saying exactly the same things (though I didnt last to long.....)
Take the time for what you have to do. Though we will miss you heaps and love you lots, you need to do what is best for you.
Remember we are always here with a listening ear and big hugs to give.
Teagz, I am so happy that you feel a little bit better, a good cry always works for me ! It's good to let all the emotions came out every now and then. And I'm so glad you've brought a little outfit for your next bub, I really like the way you think ! Positivity never goes astray !
PS You really make me laugh when you have a pick at yourself, you are a dag !! Vent all you want hun, this is why we are here !!!!
I also just wanted to let you know that even though you might not find out what caused Jayvan's chest to fill with fluid, the chances of that exact thing happening again are very remote. I have read something about that in the few books on miscarriages. So now that you're officailly TTC, bring on a BFP fast !!!!!
Rozzie, fantastic news about your bub ! I know what you mean about not having a VBAC birth, as when I fall pregnant, I will have to have a c section too, as the risk of the uterus bursting is very high. When I told my OB that I am a litle bit disappointed with that, he told me that it's much better to have the c section and a healthy take home bub, than risk the rapture to the uterus and risk the baby's health. Then he said to me, what do you think you had with Joshua ? And suddenly I though, you're right, I did have a natural birth with him which is such a blessing that I was lucky enough to have experienced it. It's just that I was so afraid of the actual labout pains when I first found out I was pregnant, that after Joshua came, I thought to myself, I don't care how long the next labour goes for, or how big the baby is, bring on the pain (with no drugs of course - you probably agree with me that after you lose a baby you think you can put up with just about anything the next time!). As long as my baby is OK, I dont care what I have to endure, at least I can bring home a healthy baby !
So I am still slightly disappointed that I will probably never experience giving birth naturally to a full term baby, but I know now that I will do whatever is necessary to just have a healthy bub.
Thanks to everyone for your kind words and well wishes. I am feeling much better. Just fell asleep on the couch trying to watch House - so missed the ending - darn!!!!
Beata - Thanks - you always know how to make me smile. How are you feeling? Hope everything is going well xxxx
Paula - Thanks! Glad you are being so positive! I bought a little giraffe the other day as they are one of my favourite animals and we had one for Zachary (which went in his coffin). I hope you keep well and that you have a carefree pregnancy
AFM - Just counting down the days until my first scan. This doesn't quite seem real yet so seeing our baby and hearing a heartbeat will be amazing. Also having my thyroid checked just to be sure it is all okay as my blood sugars have still been a bit crazy and they want to rule out any thyroid influences.
Teagz -- it is so, so hard to get that answer "nothing was wrong" or "we couldn't find anything wrong." Some of the doctors and midwives and friends think it ought to be a comforting answer -- and I understand where they're coming from, because they mean that the chances of the next bub being healthy are very high. But, to be very crass, my reaction to that was "a healthy bubs #2 is hardly something to be happy about if that one also turns out to be a dead bubs." I felt I would have been much more comforted if it turned out there was a chromosome problem (which is a "normal fluke" they say) or some easily fixable, obvious problem. But we will have to hope that your case is just like mine -- it was just a total (but very sad) fluke, so your next pregnancy will be just fine. And statistics are on our sides for that, don't forget that. Like you I wondered if I was being punished -- not wondering if I'd done something wrong or something (I even wished I had, because THAT I can make sure I didn't do next time, too), but wondering why it's ME that gets to experience the worst 1% of the worst 1% of all possibilities. Karma punishing me? Is "kick me when I'm down" written on my forehead for both fate and nasty ER nurses to clearly read? MIL said to DH that "It's amazing that Lori is an atheist and therefore doesn't believe in blessings or miracles but can still believe she's being punished. She takes the worst of both worlds." There's a point there. You are so very much not being punished, Teagz. If Jayvan was a surprise and you still grew to love him anyway -- that's a fabulous kind of love. Unconditional and wonderful.
Theresa -- I'm anxious for your first scan, too. Every day seems like an eternity while waiting to see that ticking little blob for the first time.
Rozzie -- your reasoning seems very sound and it seems like you've made a logical decision. I don't envy your having to make it. The best part though is that your fears about the consequences to future pregnancies of having a c-section now seem to be "absolute worst case scenarios" rather than something that seems statistically likely to keep you from your dream of 4 children. I'm sorry you have to give up the chance at a vaginal birth -- of course having a healthy baby (and a healthy Rozzie) in the end is the important thing, but we still need to be allowed to want a vaginal birth or to hope for a boy or a girl or anything else that a "normal" person would want, and I understand that it is a loss for you.
This is what I said when we had our meeting with the specialist MW yesterday. My head is swimming (and my hours-bank at work dwindling!) with all the appointments -- MW, OB, counselor, couples counselor, special after-birth program we're being admitted to, specialist MW, chiropractor, physical therapist for the pelvic disorder, ante-natal classes -- sheesh! You'd think we were bringing a whole new human being into the world or something. :P Anyway, the specialist MW is part of a program called "Nike" where they take women who have an extra high level of fear or need of some sort before a coming birth and make up a special birth plan with them. She knew why I was there, as my own MW sent the referrel with an explanation of what happened to us in the ER, but when I started to explain for myself I said "I'm basically afraid of everything BUT the pain!" She laughed because her normal clientele is women who are so afraid of the pain of giving birth that they want a c-section. But no, I'm with you, Beata -- since Beiron's birth was a "spontaneous abortion," and s/he had been fine just a couple days before, I had NO idea what was going on and therefore the pain was certainly horrid, horrid, horrid. But now that I know what it was, I'm just like "bring it on."
I told her that I COULD say that I'll be happy as long as both me and the baby are alive and healthy at the end, but that this would be a lie. I want, and deserve, a happy memory and a feeling that I've been treated with dignity and respect. She immediately agreed to everything I was going to ask for and more, without me even getting around to asking it -- she totally understood what I was afraid of and why, and helped us phrase a good way to write it in my journal. And she added that no students will be allowed to work on me (it's a uni hospital, and I still have scars from all their failed attempts to put IVs in me after Beiron's birth) and that they are not allowed to send me to the hospital in the neighboring city (which they sometimes do if the maternity ward here is unusually busy; she's like "we'll send someone else instead of you if that's necessary"). She even asked if we wanted them to come and get me in another part of the hospital when it was time for me to come in, since the entrance to the maternity ward is right next to the entrance to the ER. But I told her, no, I've passed by there so many times now that one more time won't kill me. I continue to be amazed by how very well I'm being treated now, and it feels like it's going to be okay.
OMG Theresa, I am so happy for you. Oh I wish I had someone to hug right now. I am soooooooooooooooooooooooo happy I don't know what to do with myself.
I wish you 40 weeks of uneventfulness then a fat screaming baby at the end. Yay!
I'm at home on a self imposed mental health day today. I've been upset since Monday. Am furious at DH for not understanding what I feel (even though I'm not really sure what I feel that's different to usual). Spent all last night crying by myself and hating everything.
Had a talk with DH this morning. Actually, more of a shout and cry at each other. Not a good month. Today is CD14, I kind feel anxious to miss an O day but with my mental state, I don't think any sperms will want to hook up with my egg anyway. So I'm going to cease and desist this month and try not to think about TTC-ing (as if!).
How ironic, I've got my CD on shuffle and it's playing the song we used at Hamish's service. The chorus goes "I'm so hollow. Hollow in my heart. Hollow in my soul. Because I'm so hollow with sorrow..."
So I think I'm going to go underground from BB for a while in a vain attempt to not think babies all the time. Not sure how long I can stay away from you guys for but I feel I should do something.
Diana - raincheck our date this Sat until I'm nicer to talk to?
How exciting. I was starting to wonder how long you were going to make us all wait for you to test.
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What a great way to start the day, and the year! I am so happy for you and Julian. You became a soon to be honest woman and pregnant in the same month! Couldn't get better than that!
CONGRATULATIONS!!
Congratulations Theresa!!!!!
to everyone else xxx
You are so very much not being punished, Teagz. If Jayvan was a surprise and you still grew to love him anyway -- that's a fabulous kind of love. Unconditional and wonderful.
Every day seems like an eternity while waiting to see that ticking little blob for the first time.
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