Dory. Hey hun, I have a cheap one but hardly ever use it...I am hopeless with it, well lets say out of practise as i have never had to use one. I am a have a shower, towel dry, brush, rough it up and makeup kind of girl. I am anyones best roomy as it only take me 5mins to get ready. But i am starting to think i deserve a bit more...so hence my new look. But i am not one to blow dry and straighten every day. Au naturale is best for me. Yes i can immagine the growing out stage is fun! All ahead of me. xoxo
Crumpet. Loving the short hair. it is weird but i really needed a makeover and I feel like i have had it like this for years, very comfortable. Glad i did it and feel very proud for being brave!
Powelly. How on earth did you just pluck every thought from my head hun? I feel all those things except maybe for being able to fall pregnant eaisly. You take that blessing hun, as best you can. I want nothing more than a baby and the anguish of watching those around me celebrate and nuture their own is often too much to bare. But I am petrified too. I grieve for never being able to get that innocence back. That realy rocks me most days.
We are CD10 and amidst TCCing this month. I had hwat might have been the very same thoughts just before and just after dtd. I am trying to be brave and march on through it but i couldn't help but cry my eyes out. Poor DH is so used to dealing with the anxieties of TCC but i really really wish we didn't have to.
In saying all of this, i remember reading someones post recently that rang bells for me. She mentioned that nothing is ever the same, but that is ok, it means her baby was here. I try to hold onto that. It is a hard spot to be in as no one really gets it and those without the heartache simple think you should be grateful for what you have and move on. They will never ever get it and i suppose we should be grateful of that FOR them, but hey we are human and some things just don't make sense.
I wanted to encourage you not to feel guilt for your feelings. They are there for good reason.
I hope you fall pregnant soon and with each day you grow stronger and stronger. I hope that for me too. Good luck.
AFM- CD10 today and preparing my head and body to fall pregnant. Trying to keep a level head.
My thoughts had returned to the adjustment i made when i fell pregnant with DD. I remember being a little sad for leaving the single(married), childless world behind as anyone would. The end of one stage in your life and the begining of another which i longed for, being a mother. I felt guilt for struggling with this adjustment, having tried for so long and wanting a child for so long. I though i had no right to feel thsi way and should have been grateful. I remember thinking wow, i give up so much for this, to be a mother. I got my head around it and grieved a little over that. At that stage i never knew how much my life was going to change. But i think it is really important to aknowledge that this is normal...isn't it. It is ok to feel the whoel array of emotions even if you feel you should be grateful.
Right now like Powelly, i still really want a baby...but i am so very scared. My anger and sadness for losing that innocence will no doubt fade a little over time and affect me less but for now, sometimes it consumes me. Everthing i ever looked forward to is gone. It is taking me a great deal to get through this part. That is ok, hey.
Better go now and get some exercise...light exercise, bit by bit, day by day.
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