Hi lovely ladies

Sorry I have been MIA for a while. I have been off sick all week with a virus which started as a fever on Monday morning just after I got to work. I went home and DH rushed me to the Dr's. It was horrible, I couldn't get warm even with layers of clothes and the heating in the car on maximum! It left a few hours later but I have spent most of the week feeling very washed out and tired and headachey. Yuck.

I have tried to catch up with everybody's posts but my head is still a bit fuzzy so I will attempt a few quick ones... Gigi happy belated birthday, Chris great news on the surgery, Suz FX for you for this cycle, Dory you are sounding well... to everyone else.

AFM, we have decided not to do another IVF cycle with my eggs. My head, heart and gut are all telling me the same thing... that it is going backwards... so we are investigating doing an ED cycle hopefully before the end of the year. That is where we are devoting our energies now, and I have been in touch with some wonderful ladies who have been in very similar circumstances to us who now have beautiful babies or who are pg, so we see this as our path to our dream. It is not where we expected to be 12 months ago, but then I guess none of us would choose any of this heartache and grief if we were given the option. I saw some posts on YouTube from a lady who has been through two ED cycles, and something she said really resonated with me. We are already mothers... we are just waiting for our baby's spirit to come to us in a physical form whether it be through IVF, ED, adoption or foster care. I know some may not agree with this, but for me that really summed up how I feel.

So I guess what I am trying to say is that I understand if some here don't agree with the whole donor thing, and therefore, I will be respectful of everyone's wishes if you do not want me to continue to post in here. If you don't want me to post, just PM me and I will respect that. It is controversial, but we are trying to be as thoughtful and considerate about the whole process as possible, particularly how the donor is treated and then what contact our child may have/request from the donor in the future. I have done lots of reading and spoken to people on both sides on another site, and have found that are occasionally some stories of regret from donors, but on the whole they feel that donating was a wonderful opportunity to help others.

Thanks again all and I wish lots of and BFPs for everyone very soon.
oxo