TTC AFTER Late Loss/Recurrent Miscarriage/ Stillbirth 2010

[crumpet]

Aries- you are braver than me, I would love to get a tattoo for Riley but i can't even bring myself to pick up the phone and make an appointment

im with u on that one hun!!! would love to get one done but i dont think i have the balls to do it!!!

Crumpet - good luck with the tattoo. I think it's a beautiful thing to do. DH got a tattoo for Ryan on his left arm. It is quite big and took about 3 or 4 hours to do... not my thing. I would want something smaller like yours (and quicker!). And I have my fingers crossed for you that you catch an egg this time, now that you can 'officially' try again!

thanks hun!!!! hopefully we got out ***** together and have cought that egg!!!!
good luck with ur BT reuslts!!

*sigh* I knew there wasn't much chance, but I still did a HPT yesterday - no second line. Nice strong control line, but nothing else. I'm getting scared of Friday. I want so many things that I can't change...

big hugs hunni..... it wont be a easy day but u will get through it ur a strong cookie!

Hi crumpet - I think your appointment at the hospy was today? I really hope it was helpful for you xx And I hope you have been enjoying "sexy time"!

it sure was!!! oohh well i dont know if id say im enjoying my sexytime but its defiantly happening!!!LMAO!!!!!


ok so i had my appt at the hospy......

and im a nut job, i barely got through the front doors of the clinic area and i started like u wouldnt believe!!! how embarassement!!!

so anyways talk to mary about everything and she is refering me onto SIDS and KIDS and they will contact me about setting up a time for my first session...i also complained about our privacy breach and she is getting the patient liason person to contact us too....

[Chez67]

Hi everyone

TeniBear - I'm so sorry for your BFN hun I understand completely how you feel. Sometimes I feel so full of despair but I know in my heart that feeling that isn't helping me fall pg, but still it is so hard to feel positive all of the time. It's just so unfair and exhausting this whole TTC journey. I feel like screaming out: Haven't we been through enough? I want this ride to stop so I can get off! But I don't... maybe it would make me feel better if I did? Anyway, I really hope and pray that your BFP comes soon. Hugs for Friday. I will be thinking of you.

CharlieB - that's very strong of you not too test, but I know what you mean about a false positive. I am going to try to follow your example and wait until I am officially late, although with my cycle being a bit all over the place at the moment I am not quite sure when that is. But I figure I will give myself 14 days post O and then I will expect AF but I have my fingers crossed that she won't come. Here's hoping for both of us

Crumpet - your trip to the hospy sounds like you got some stuff achieved. I haven't had to go back since the birth. I am not sure I could do it without ending up in a sobbing mess. I have decided that when I do fall pg again I will not use that hospital if I can avoid it. Too many bad memories for me. I hope the SIDS and Kids counsellor can help you and you find someone you can relate to. We saw one and didn't really connect with her - she was very nice but didn't understand our situation and that was important to us both. I was much happier with the psych that my GP referred me to.

AFM, had a day away from work at a training seminar which was a nice change of pace and much less stressful. The heat seems to have reduced since reducing the dose of my herbs so my TCM was right (she normally is!). So I am feeling better for that. And DH is home tonight - he's been away since Monday morning, so I am pretty happy about that.

Take care and babydust to all!
oxo

[crumpet]

Crumpet - your trip to the hospy sounds like you got some stuff achieved. I haven't had to go back since the birth. I am not sure I could do it without ending up in a sobbing mess. I have decided that when I do fall pg again I will not use that hospital if I can avoid it. Too many bad memories for me. I hope the SIDS and Kids counsellor can help you and you find someone you can relate to. We saw one and didn't really connect with her - she was very nice but didn't understand our situation and that was important to us both. I was much happier with the psych that my GP referred me to.

AFM, had a day away from work at a training seminar which was a nice change of pace and much less stressful. The heat seems to have reduced since reducing the dose of my herbs so my TCM was right (she normally is!). So I am feeling better for that. And DH is home tonight - he's been away since Monday morning, so I am pretty happy about that.

Take care and babydust to all!
oxo

im a bit worried i wont like them or something like that, but i guess i can always ask for another one.....
the lady at the hospital said i could see my GP and get a referal to a psych if i wanted to as well, so ill see how i go with sids and kids and then do that if i need to....

i didnt think i would have trouble going in but if did obviosuly hit a nerve..... although im the opposite i kinda want to go back there..... im not sure why, maybe the comfort of knowing the place now or what.....
im pretty sure ill still go to my first pick, had to go to the mercy becasue of the high risk when i went in on bed rest, but im not sure yet....

yaaay for DH being home!!!!

[CharlieB]

Hello!

Crumpet - glad your appointment went well, don't feel bad about being emotional, I'm sure it's normal.
I didn't realise you had a privacy breach as well, that sucks! I hope they sort it out.

Chez - I'm the same, still not completely sure what my cycle is doing. But if the weekend goes by with no AF for either of us I will be very happy!!!

I think I'll be at a different hospital next time - assuming things go to plan. I was sent from my original hospy to the high risk hospital when things went wrong last time around. I will be very happy not to go near the place again!! Even though they were all very good to us.

[dory]

Hiya -

Teni sorry to hear about your bfn.

Chez - oh blossom, big hugs. I don't understand why its so tough either.

Charli - I have been back to the same hospita, twice now for maternity and also just had my stitch there ( but wasnt in maternity for the stich!l). I made sure I went back after Amelia but before Sophie, because I didnt want to be scared of a place. I just get treated so well by all the staff, one of the perks of multiple losses I guess. Initially I was scared to go back so I can understand Crumpet how you felt.

Crumpet - It's pretty overwhelming. I think I am trained not to show my emotions in public, that people don't realise the struggles. Sweetie - it's not embarrassing to cry or "lose it". It's just part of a grief journey. Who cares what anyone else thinks? They haven't walked in your shoes, so blah to them.

Just reminded me of some kindness that a stranger offered me. Whilst I was stil in hossy after Sophie I had to have a scan to see how the uterus was doing. I got wheeled over to Women's Xray and my wheelchair was parked next to a sofa. There was a lady sitting, well sprawled on the sofa and she didn't look well,sort of anaemic, but after a while, she looked over at me ( I was sitting with my head bowed tears slipping quietly down my face), and she offered to share the sofa with me and even offered me some more tissues. I was so touched by her kindness.

Weird how strangers can somehow and unexpectedly find a way into that lonely old world of ours at times huh? I hope that the counsellor helps.

All good here, Just have felt like I don't have much to offer at the moment, and haven't even been lurking. I'll bounce back soon enough no doubt.

Thinking of you... for those in the TWW good luck, I hope this is your time. Crafty- hmm increased smell sensitivity? Food and drink tasting different? Hmm girl I have everyting crossed for you.

[crumpet]

Hello!

Crumpet - glad your appointment went well, don't feel bad about being emotional, I'm sure it's normal.
I didn't realise you had a privacy breach as well, that sucks! I hope they sort it out.


I think I'll be at a different hospital next time - assuming things go to plan. I was sent from my original hospy to the high risk hospital when things went wrong last time around. I will be very happy not to go near the place again!! Even though they were all very good to us.

yeah she didnt think i was loopy so that was good!!!

yeah long story short-ish.....
my step dad and i dont get on so Dh and I have had no contact with is side of the family for 5 or so years, and stepdads SIL works at the hospy i was admitted too....
anyway a week after i got home stepdads SIL rocks up on my door step!!!!
after talking to my mum we figure out there is no way she would have known my surname,address or that id given birth to a boy....
she would have known i was in hospital and being local im assuming she put 2 and 2 together and figured out id be where i was....
so we are pretty sure she has searched my records at the hoapital ans found out me adress and all about what happened with Gus.....

have actually just had a call from the hospital and have given them all the details and they are going to look into thingas.... we dont want this person to loose their job or knowing that we have made the complaint but we want the hopsital to know it does happen and that its not on..... so ill get a call to tell me what they are doing about it all..

other than the above issue we were rapt with the care we got

[TeniBear]

I was doing okay so far this morning (I've been up all night again) until I got bored and googled my name and came across a British news article I commented on when I was 11 weeks pg - about a couple who had a stillborn boy. This is the comment I made:

I'm currently 11 weeks pregnant at the moment, absolutely bawling my eyes out and holding my tummy hoping my "Smudge" turns out okay. My mum has had three miscarriages - one very early-term, and two mid-term (one on Xmas eve, too). The last two were in 2005 and 2006, and everybody still feels unable to talk about it with her. Even she feels uncomfortable with it at times. But not me. I try to talk to her as much as possible about the babies we all lost, trying to make her understand that it's okay, I'm here for her, etc... I'm even considering naming my own baby with the name she'd chosen for the last one. Thank you for sharing your story with us, Jacqui, and I wish you, Joel, Zac, and Bliss (lovely name, by the way) all the best for your future.

...I'm kinda bawling my eyes out again now.

Oh, and I am going to the cemetery today to do the balloon release. Not sure if it'll be just me and Scott (he miraculously got his shift switched and so he's working this morning) or there will be a few more people, but it is happening! We'll have to be careful not to interfere with another funeral though - Ianto's getting another little "neighbour" two plots down, and his burial's at 2:30.

[blessedatlast]

Hi Everyone.. Have just skimmed posts. I am not really posting in here anymore, too much of my own rubbish going on.. Lots and lots of drama with my seperation..

TeniBear - Thinking of you today, I am glad your DH's shift got switched and you can do the balloon release together. In my experience balloon releases are really peaceful and theraputic (Maybe not the right word, but couldn't think how else to describe it) Lots and lots of and today..

Thinking of you all...