TTC AFTER Late Loss/Recurrent Miscarriage/ Stillbirth 2010

[crumpet]

Crumpet - your trip to the hospy sounds like you got some stuff achieved. I haven't had to go back since the birth. I am not sure I could do it without ending up in a sobbing mess. I have decided that when I do fall pg again I will not use that hospital if I can avoid it. Too many bad memories for me. I hope the SIDS and Kids counsellor can help you and you find someone you can relate to. We saw one and didn't really connect with her - she was very nice but didn't understand our situation and that was important to us both. I was much happier with the psych that my GP referred me to.

AFM, had a day away from work at a training seminar which was a nice change of pace and much less stressful. The heat seems to have reduced since reducing the dose of my herbs so my TCM was right (she normally is!). So I am feeling better for that. And DH is home tonight - he's been away since Monday morning, so I am pretty happy about that.

Take care and babydust to all!
oxo

im a bit worried i wont like them or something like that, but i guess i can always ask for another one.....
the lady at the hospital said i could see my GP and get a referal to a psych if i wanted to as well, so ill see how i go with sids and kids and then do that if i need to....

i didnt think i would have trouble going in but if did obviosuly hit a nerve..... although im the opposite i kinda want to go back there..... im not sure why, maybe the comfort of knowing the place now or what.....
im pretty sure ill still go to my first pick, had to go to the mercy becasue of the high risk when i went in on bed rest, but im not sure yet....

yaaay for DH being home!!!!

[CharlieB]

Hello!

Crumpet - glad your appointment went well, don't feel bad about being emotional, I'm sure it's normal.
I didn't realise you had a privacy breach as well, that sucks! I hope they sort it out.

Chez - I'm the same, still not completely sure what my cycle is doing. But if the weekend goes by with no AF for either of us I will be very happy!!!

I think I'll be at a different hospital next time - assuming things go to plan. I was sent from my original hospy to the high risk hospital when things went wrong last time around. I will be very happy not to go near the place again!! Even though they were all very good to us.

[dory]

Hiya -

Teni sorry to hear about your bfn.

Chez - oh blossom, big hugs. I don't understand why its so tough either.

Charli - I have been back to the same hospita, twice now for maternity and also just had my stitch there ( but wasnt in maternity for the stich!l). I made sure I went back after Amelia but before Sophie, because I didnt want to be scared of a place. I just get treated so well by all the staff, one of the perks of multiple losses I guess. Initially I was scared to go back so I can understand Crumpet how you felt.

Crumpet - It's pretty overwhelming. I think I am trained not to show my emotions in public, that people don't realise the struggles. Sweetie - it's not embarrassing to cry or "lose it". It's just part of a grief journey. Who cares what anyone else thinks? They haven't walked in your shoes, so blah to them.

Just reminded me of some kindness that a stranger offered me. Whilst I was stil in hossy after Sophie I had to have a scan to see how the uterus was doing. I got wheeled over to Women's Xray and my wheelchair was parked next to a sofa. There was a lady sitting, well sprawled on the sofa and she didn't look well,sort of anaemic, but after a while, she looked over at me ( I was sitting with my head bowed tears slipping quietly down my face), and she offered to share the sofa with me and even offered me some more tissues. I was so touched by her kindness.

Weird how strangers can somehow and unexpectedly find a way into that lonely old world of ours at times huh? I hope that the counsellor helps.

All good here, Just have felt like I don't have much to offer at the moment, and haven't even been lurking. I'll bounce back soon enough no doubt.

Thinking of you... for those in the TWW good luck, I hope this is your time. Crafty- hmm increased smell sensitivity? Food and drink tasting different? Hmm girl I have everyting crossed for you.

[crumpet]

Hello!

Crumpet - glad your appointment went well, don't feel bad about being emotional, I'm sure it's normal.
I didn't realise you had a privacy breach as well, that sucks! I hope they sort it out.


I think I'll be at a different hospital next time - assuming things go to plan. I was sent from my original hospy to the high risk hospital when things went wrong last time around. I will be very happy not to go near the place again!! Even though they were all very good to us.

yeah she didnt think i was loopy so that was good!!!

yeah long story short-ish.....
my step dad and i dont get on so Dh and I have had no contact with is side of the family for 5 or so years, and stepdads SIL works at the hospy i was admitted too....
anyway a week after i got home stepdads SIL rocks up on my door step!!!!
after talking to my mum we figure out there is no way she would have known my surname,address or that id given birth to a boy....
she would have known i was in hospital and being local im assuming she put 2 and 2 together and figured out id be where i was....
so we are pretty sure she has searched my records at the hoapital ans found out me adress and all about what happened with Gus.....

have actually just had a call from the hospital and have given them all the details and they are going to look into thingas.... we dont want this person to loose their job or knowing that we have made the complaint but we want the hopsital to know it does happen and that its not on..... so ill get a call to tell me what they are doing about it all..

other than the above issue we were rapt with the care we got

[TeniBear]

I was doing okay so far this morning (I've been up all night again) until I got bored and googled my name and came across a British news article I commented on when I was 11 weeks pg - about a couple who had a stillborn boy. This is the comment I made:

I'm currently 11 weeks pregnant at the moment, absolutely bawling my eyes out and holding my tummy hoping my "Smudge" turns out okay. My mum has had three miscarriages - one very early-term, and two mid-term (one on Xmas eve, too). The last two were in 2005 and 2006, and everybody still feels unable to talk about it with her. Even she feels uncomfortable with it at times. But not me. I try to talk to her as much as possible about the babies we all lost, trying to make her understand that it's okay, I'm here for her, etc... I'm even considering naming my own baby with the name she'd chosen for the last one. Thank you for sharing your story with us, Jacqui, and I wish you, Joel, Zac, and Bliss (lovely name, by the way) all the best for your future.

...I'm kinda bawling my eyes out again now.

Oh, and I am going to the cemetery today to do the balloon release. Not sure if it'll be just me and Scott (he miraculously got his shift switched and so he's working this morning) or there will be a few more people, but it is happening! We'll have to be careful not to interfere with another funeral though - Ianto's getting another little "neighbour" two plots down, and his burial's at 2:30.

[blessedatlast]

Hi Everyone.. Have just skimmed posts. I am not really posting in here anymore, too much of my own rubbish going on.. Lots and lots of drama with my seperation..

TeniBear - Thinking of you today, I am glad your DH's shift got switched and you can do the balloon release together. In my experience balloon releases are really peaceful and theraputic (Maybe not the right word, but couldn't think how else to describe it) Lots and lots of and today..

Thinking of you all...

[crumpet]

I was doing okay so far this morning (I've been up all night again) until I got bored and googled my name and came across a British news article I commented on when I was 11 weeks pg - about a couple who had a stillborn boy. This is the comment I made:



...I'm kinda bawling my eyes out again now.

Oh, and I am going to the cemetery today to do the balloon release. Not sure if it'll be just me and Scott (he miraculously got his shift switched and so he's working this morning) or there will be a few more people, but it is happening! We'll have to be careful not to interfere with another funeral though - Ianto's getting another little "neighbour" two plots down, and his burial's at 2:30.

for u today hun.....
i cant even begin to imagine what your going through today, but im so so happy that scott has managed to have the afternoon with you.....
i think its a beautiful idea to let a ballon go.....
will be thinking of u all day.....

Hi Everyone.. Have just skimmed posts. I am not really posting in here anymore, too much of my own rubbish going on.. Lots and lots of drama with my seperation..

for you to hun, hope ur doing ok..... it must be a hard time for u.

AFM: well i have a second interview for a reception job today so i get it, i actually want to work a few days a week at the moment!!!

got a call from SIDS AND KIDS yesterday and i start councelling tuesday..... wasnt expecting to be going down this track but i think its best.....

and as of last night i have developed a metalic/acidy kinda of taste in my mouth..... kinda like ive eaten a jar of pickeled onions?? which i havnt LOL had burritots for dinner! anyone had the metalic taste when preg can u describe it to me? please...

[dory]

Teni - thinking of you, Scott and your angel Ianto today. May the balloon you release rise up with your love and sadness but also some of mine. Go gently sweet one.

Blessed - oh sweetie. Thinking of you, I know you are doing it tough right now. Surround yourself with as much support as you can. I know you can get through this, you are a strong and amazing woman, who has so much to give and two angel babies giving you strength and guidance. I will miss you, but sometimes I can actually get its not about me and you need this space. Love to you.

Crumpet - hmm a sneaky bfp perhaps? I have ALWAYS had a funny metallic taste before a bfp. Sometimes it was quite strong other times not so much, but always distinctly metalic. I don't know how else to describe it but I don't get it at any other time. I also got more salvia and headahces the first time ( but not sure if that was from the caffeine withdrawal or something else)....I am hoping its a sneaky bfp for you, then you leave the insanity of tcc behind but enter a whole other world.

Glad you start counselling next week.

Thinking of you Chez, Gigi, and Bermuda Girl ( hope all that sun, sand and beach is doing the trick) and Charli.

AFM - I seem to be feeling more positive today. Last 3 days or so have just been inexplicably sad and weepy. Not scared, not thinking about my babies, just sad. So sad it broke my heart to come on to BB and read and feel all the sadness. I really felt it to my very core and I couldn't take it on. That hasn't happened to me for quite a while.

Go strong my friends.