TTC AFTER Late Loss/Recurrent Miscarriage/ Stillbirth 2010

[dory]

Aries - I hope your are closer to a bub with this new phase! Hopefully the girls in the other thread will welcome you and give you the info you need, but feel free to lurk or pop in at any time. Wishing you all the best with a quick journey from here.

Angelic - you are so right. Thankyou for such powerful words.

Ctenibear - I hope the change of name works! The C's do seem to have it don't they?

Chez - i am so hoping that if the C"s have it, that means you are next..... where are you up to this cycle?

Charli, Crumpet - thinking of you. How are you going?

Cmeglles - oh my I AM SOOOOOOOOOOOOO EXCITED for you! Well done. I love Bermuda, even thought it was raining and everything. Hang in there now, it does get "easier".... well that's not right, it changes as you get further along. The fear and anxiety I find are always there, it's just a matter of whether they are right at the front shouting, or just standing back a bit having a quiet conversation, but rarely do they sleep, and they have yet to leave the building..... I can't wait to say good riddance to them.

Blessed - even if you're not posting, I still think of you, and every so often I check on you via your blog to see how you are doing.

Apart from the crazy anxious fearful lady - all good here. Over half way now. One day at a time.

Hoping this month brings a lot of BFP's......

[crumpet]

Hi everyone!

Just a quick one from me...... I just had a call from my FS and she wants to move me to the next stage of IUI as obviously the doses of clomid arent doing anything. I am scared of the process but extremely happy because hopefully it means we are one step closer to our baby. So I am outta this thread for a while - gonna lurk around the assisted conception forums for some info. Thanks for everything and good luck with your journeys. Love to all xxxx

oh good luck hun!!! hope its super quick for u!!!!

Charli, Crumpet - thinking of you. How are you going?


Apart from the crazy anxious fearful lady - all good here. Over half way now. One day at a time.

all going good here thanks hun....
nothing overly exciting to report, tired, nausea the usual early preg stuff!!!
see my OB in 2 weeks so ill feel better about things then, just want to see the heartbeat when he does the US and know worm is in the right place all that stuff.......
will be in for my stitch in about 6-7 weeks so that will prob creep up quickly!!

how many weeks are u now hun??

[dory]

Crumpet - 20 - half way! I sent you a private message with more detail.

[TeniBear]

Evil AF is gone now, so back to TTC for me

...That is, if I get DH back on side. He said on Saturday that maybe we should wait til after his birthday (July) to start trying again. He's worried primarily about the money side of things. Fair enough, I suppose, but what does he think we'll be spending money on when we have a bub? We'll be using cloth, so there's not much $ going on nappies. We won't be going out much, so there's $ saved. I'll (hopefully) be breastfeeding, so no money going on formula... He doesn't seem to understand. He's started a thread of his own, some of you may have read it. He doesn't want it to feel like we're replacing Ianto. I don't want it to feel like we're never having any more kids just because we lost our first.

He said that if I told him then and there that I was pregnant, he'd be ecstatic, so I think the problem for him is that while I want to actively try, he just wants to let nature run its course and let it happen when it happens. Kinda hard to let it happen if we don't DTD, isn't it?

Sorry about the usual lack of personals, one day I'll do it

[dory]

Teni - it's so hard. It seems your Scotty Duck needs to work his way through those feelings. You can never "replace" Ianto. Never. You know that, but Scotty Duck needs to work that out for himself. I am not sure how he could do that. I know I struggled after Amelia when we were trying again with a similar concept. My worry was whether I would love the new baby less than Amelia. But what I thought was, people who have a living child already, might feel like that too,when the contemplate a second child, and they manage, and they love each of their children for their unique gifts and talents.

About money - I don't think there is ever a "perfect time" for a baby in terms of money. I think it can be a red herring to worry about and distract you. Not saying that genuinely thinking about money and how you as a family will manage is a bad thing, I just think its easy to make it a bigger worry than it either is or needs to be. To me, it says that Scotty Duck is really scared of being hurt again.

And then also I thought about my furbabies, when thinking about the "replacement concept'. My DH and I got two cats, who we adored, one who died, and we got 2 more. Not to replace our angel furbaby, no way. But we were ready for more? There is no way that our Kaspar cat could be replaced. But what did happen, was the new little fur babies, worked their magic and showed us that their personalities, different from Kaspar, but are still loveable and unique and I would be totally lost without them today.

I say, there is ALWAYS, plenty more room for love. So that's how I reconciled my fear f not being able to love another baby as much as Amelia.

[Gigi1]

Teni, Dory, I just wanted to put in my two bobs worth which may or may not help as each of s have a different journey.
I have felt a lot fo what Dory has mentioned but it have also occurred to me lately that i needed time to spend in my first daughter before I have to share my energy with another baby. At first it was a fear of replacement, then a fear for being hurt again...which still exists. But the very big thing for me that underlied it all was the the desire to spend time with her and only her. If she would have survived I would have spent the time with her until have another. I have found that really important for me.. I feel I don't have the space in my head or my life for another child yet and I believe that is changing atm and the reason we have not fallen pregnant yet.
I have foudn this really helped me.

Cmegles- Anytime, you can call on me.

With love to all
xoxoxHM

[dory]

Well said Gigi.