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hey girls!!!
hope ur all well!!!
havnt got much to to report just wanted to say hi!!
xoxoxo
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Hi everyone!
Just a quick one from me...... I just had a call from my FS and she wants to move me to the next stage of IUI as obviously the doses of clomid arent doing anything. I am scared of the process but extremely happy because hopefully it means we are one step closer to our baby. So I am outta this thread for a while - gonna lurk around the assisted conception forums for some info. Thanks for everything and good luck with your journeys. Love to all xxxx
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Aries - I hope your are closer to a bub with this new phase! Hopefully the girls in the other thread will welcome you and give you the info you need, but feel free to lurk or pop in at any time. Wishing you all the best with a quick journey from here.
Angelic - you are so right. Thankyou for such powerful words.
Ctenibear - I hope the change of name works! The C's do seem to have it don't they?
Chez - i am so hoping that if the C"s have it, that means you are next..... where are you up to this cycle?
Charli, Crumpet - thinking of you. How are you going?
Cmeglles - oh my I AM SOOOOOOOOOOOOO EXCITED for you! Well done. I love Bermuda, even thought it was raining and everything. Hang in there now, it does get "easier".... well that's not right, it changes as you get further along. The fear and anxiety I find are always there, it's just a matter of whether they are right at the front shouting, or just standing back a bit having a quiet conversation, but rarely do they sleep, and they have yet to leave the building..... I can't wait to say good riddance to them.
Blessed - even if you're not posting, I still think of you, and every so often I check on you via your blog to see how you are doing.
Apart from the crazy anxious fearful lady - all good here. Over half way now. One day at a time.
Hoping this month brings a lot of BFP's......
Last edited by dory; May 10th, 2010 at 11:46 AM. : signature
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oh good luck hun!!! hope its super quick for u!!!!
all going good here thanks hun....
nothing overly exciting to report, tired, nausea the usual early preg stuff!!!
see my OB in 2 weeks so ill feel better about things then, just want to see the heartbeat when he does the US and know worm is in the right place all that stuff.......
will be in for my stitch in about 6-7 weeks so that will prob creep up quickly!!
how many weeks are u now hun??
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Crumpet - 20 - half way! I sent you a private message with more detail.
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Evil AF is gone now, so back to TTC for me
...That is, if I get DH back on side. He said on Saturday that maybe we should wait til after his birthday (July) to start trying again. He's worried primarily about the money side of things. Fair enough, I suppose, but what does he think we'll be spending money on when we have a bub? We'll be using cloth, so there's not much $ going on nappies. We won't be going out much, so there's $ saved. I'll (hopefully) be breastfeeding, so no money going on formula...He doesn't seem to understand. He's started a thread of his own, some of you may have read it. He doesn't want it to feel like we're replacing Ianto. I don't want it to feel like we're never having any more kids just because we lost our first.
He said that if I told him then and there that I was pregnant, he'd be ecstatic, so I think the problem for him is that while I want to actively try, he just wants to let nature run its course and let it happen when it happens. Kinda hard to let it happen if we don't DTD, isn't it?
Sorry about the usual lack of personals, one day I'll do it
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Teni - it's so hard. It seems your Scotty Duck needs to work his way through those feelings. You can never "replace" Ianto. Never. You know that, but Scotty Duck needs to work that out for himself. I am not sure how he could do that. I know I struggled after Amelia when we were trying again with a similar concept. My worry was whether I would love the new baby less than Amelia. But what I thought was, people who have a living child already, might feel like that too,when the contemplate a second child, and they manage, and they love each of their children for their unique gifts and talents.
About money - I don't think there is ever a "perfect time" for a baby in terms of money. I think it can be a red herring to worry about and distract you. Not saying that genuinely thinking about money and how you as a family will manage is a bad thing, I just think its easy to make it a bigger worry than it either is or needs to be. To me, it says that Scotty Duck is really scared of being hurt again.
And then also I thought about my furbabies, when thinking about the "replacement concept'. My DH and I got two cats, who we adored, one who died, and we got 2 more. Not to replace our angel furbaby, no way. But we were ready for more? There is no way that our Kaspar cat could be replaced. But what did happen, was the new little fur babies, worked their magic and showed us that their personalities, different from Kaspar, but are still loveable and unique and I would be totally lost without them today.
I say, there is ALWAYS, plenty more room for love. So that's how I reconciled my fear f not being able to love another baby as much as Amelia.
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Teni, Dory, I just wanted to put in my two bobs worth which may or may not help as each of s have a different journey.
I have felt a lot fo what Dory has mentioned but it have also occurred to me lately that i needed time to spend in my first daughter before I have to share my energy with another baby. At first it was a fear of replacement, then a fear for being hurt again...which still exists. But the very big thing for me that underlied it all was the the desire to spend time with her and only her. If she would have survived I would have spent the time with her until have another. I have found that really important for me.. I feel I don't have the space in my head or my life for another child yet and I believe that is changing atm and the reason we have not fallen pregnant yet.
I have foudn this really helped me.
Cmegles- Anytime, you can call on me.
With love to all
xoxoxHM
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Well said Gigi.
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Hi to all - just been catching up on what's been happening on here over the last week!
Cmegelles - Congratulations!!!!So pleased to hear you have your BFP! Obviously the holiday worked for you which is just awesome. Will probably stalk you on the pregnancy forum!! Have a H&H 9 months!!!
Aries - good luck with the IUI. Hope you get your BFP next cycle - let us know how you go!
Toomanyshoes - welcome to this thread. It must be so difficult not having answers. I hope you pursue seeing an FS to see if they can help. I hope your stay is short.
Crumpet/CharlieB - glad to hear that things are ticking along nicely for you both.
cTenibear - I love the fact you have added the c to your name!!
Angelic/Chez67 - thanks for the info on TTC after D&C. Did a bit more research on it and it seems there is such a difference of opinion around but to hell with it - I am going to start TTC right away.
Hello to Lemonade, Samcougar and Gigi.
Ended up having D&C this last Friday. Gyno put me on Provera to start my AF to see if he could flush it out when it seemed they thought RP was floating. After D&C on Friday Gyno said it wasn't floating at all but was quite firmly attached. Said it was an odd case as my HcG was less than 1 but still had RP. Anyway, he doesn't seemed too fussed about TTCing again this cycle. In fact he mentioned putting me on Clomid in a couple of weeks to kick things along! A bit worried about that as I have already been preg with twins naturally and it didn't end well....Hmmmm will have to think about that. He didn't seemed concerned. Said it increased chances of twins from 1 in 80 to 1 in 40. Still don't know how I would feel if I was preg with twins again. I imagine my anxiety would be sky high. Higher than with a singleton anyway. That might sound weird to some but makes sense to me given my personal history!
Anyway, have decided that we will defo TTC this cycle (though not sure when to take cd1 from day of period from Provera or day of D&C?). Never gotten prego first time trying anyway! Will have to do some serious charting/temping/OPKing to know when I am ovulating. Anyway, glad D&C is over as I feel a step closer to getting that BFP!! So excited that I am no longer an unoffical lurker but an active TTCer!!!
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SusieQ - so glad that you are on the TCC train now! Sorry that you had to have a D&C but it seems from what you have written it was needed. Hope your pondering about clomid brings you to a resolution, I can understand your fears. Can't wait to read about your temp, CM, and OPK'ing.
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Gigi1- I second Dory--well said!
Tenibear- Hooray AF has passed. Onto a new chapter.....I second dory when she says there is no 'good' time to have a baby. One of my advisors in college told me this and I find that there are always reasons (money, work etc.) to wait.....As far as replacing Ianto- everything I have read and looked at says that you will not do this. I understand your fears, but Ianto has a very special and private place in your hearts and will always. They say that in the far off future you will watch your children playing on the playground and remember and long for the one(s) you lost. I often think of how much my perspective and my life has changed because of our DS and I would not change it for anything. Like your Ianto, I think all our children will always have a place in our lives because they make up who we are......Sorry I will get off my soapbox- please feel free to scold me if necessary.
SusieQ- thank you--and congrats on beginning to TTC! How wonderful that your doctor is boosting your cycles with Clomid to get you started. I look forward to hearing about your OPKs and jounrey. Best of luck that it is a short one hun.
hi to everyone else!
-CM
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Tenibear - I can tell you from my own experience, you will without a doubt love all of your children equally. Another child will never ever replace Ianto. I kind of questioned why I was so eager to TTC again but I was reading an article about David Cameron (I am living in the UK at the moment) who lost his 6 year old disabled son a little under a year ago. He and his wife are pregnant again and one comment really resonated with me and that was that the new baby would never replace their lost son but that the pregnancy had brought their family hope and happiness in a very difficult and sad time. I know that is how I feel about TTC again.
Dory - I cannot believe I missed you on my last post - rude rude me. I am really glad to hear everything is progressing well for you. I read your threads on the pregnancy forum to see how you are going!
Time for me to start obsessing over temps. Mine was 35.5 this morning. I generally have low temps but this one is really low. Thinking my system must be quite really screwed up at the moment with everything that has happened. Going to take cd1 from D&C - imagine it might be a long cycle this month so will start with the later date.
Take care everyone.
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Hello to everyone
Well I am a newby to this thread. I just stumbled across it and thought that it would be a very helpful thread to be in, hope you all don't mind me joining in.
I have been through nowhere near as much as majority of you all have but I still struggle day to day with my losses. DH and I have been TTC since May 07 (when we were married). We have been lucky enough to conceive twice but unfortunately lost both to MC. I had all the test done and everything seemed to look ok so I still have no explanation to why this has happened. I put it down to one of two things: 1 - I suffer from DVT's so I could have had clotting around the placenta and 2 - My progesterone levels could have been too low. I have been told that my hormones are all over the place.
As it takes us quiet a while to conceive, my OB has started me on Clomid and Pregnyl injections around cd12. He has also got me taking 100mg of aspirin as he thinks this should help with implantation and lessen the chances of Blood Clotting. I am now on my second cyclce of clomid and had my cd21 BT on Monday so I get the results for that tomorrow.
Has anyone else had any troubles with their progesterone levels? What do you do to fix this?
So happy to have found this thread and I look forward to being a part of it.
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Welcome hope
Thanks everyone for your opinions on my problem with DH
We've both come up with different solutions throughout today - mine I couldn't even stick to for twenty minutesI instinctively wrote down that we'd dtd... right after I said that from now until August(ish) we're not actively trying. Just not using protection
Apparently there's a difference... Intention, I suppose. He's promised that he'll be a bit more interested now
I don't mind if we're dtd for different reasons. He's said to me that he wouldn't mind me being pregnant again, he just doesn't want to try to get pregnant... So frustrating!
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Hope - welcome and I am so sorry for the loss of your precious angel boys.
Sweetie, a loss is a loss. You still have to deal with grief, bereavement,and loss of your dreams, irrespective of when a loss occurs. In my view the stage of the loss determines only some different physical aspects to confront but the grief is a common burden, irrespective of timing. Find the courage within yourself not to minimise your losses. A friend of mine whose baby was still born at 39 weeks gave me that advice when my daughter Amelia was born at 22 weeks gestation. I remember saying at the time that my loss could not compare with hers, and she was so generous in the advice she gave. In truth her advice was a gift. I couldn't really understand her advice initially, but now I have come to embrace it, especially as other parents share the experiences of their grief. Whilst each person walks their own grief journey there are some common threads. Ianna has done a really good summary of the possible causes and treatment options of recurrent miscarriage. I will post the link later in this message for you. I found it really helpful. You might too - it might be a springboard to ask your Ob more questions... aspirin is not the only treatment option for concerns about clotting. Some people are prescribed heparin, but it is administered by injection and does result in quite severe bruising. I am not medically trained and there will be other reasons for heparin to be prescribed or not. Asprin is much easier to administer. I discussed the option of another medication for clotting with a Dr that I consulted for a second opinion. I can't remember what it was but it began with "C", I think clexane. I was given reasons why clexane was preferable for me at the time over heparin and asprin, but I didn't end up needing that treatment. I can't offer anything to you in relation to progesterone levels... maybe someone else can?
I hope your TCC journey now is relatively quick...... I have a friend who has been diagnosed with an enzyme imbalance which affects her ability to conceive. I can't remember what its called. I will have to ask her. It was discovered inadvertently, but confirmed via blood tests at specific days of her cycle. She has seen an endocrinologist about it. Apparently there is treatment that might assist with her conception chances. She has been TCC for 5 years with 2 m/c and has attempted IVF, FET, traditional chinese medicine, changing her work. Her DH also has some sperm health issues. I only share my friends experiences as it might give you something else to ask about. Knowledge is power.
Teni - glad you have come to some sort of happy resolution.
Susie - no offence taken! And, thankyou for your kind words.
Angelic, Chez, Blessed, Gigi - hiya - thinking of you. Congrats to the escapees - cmegelles, charli and crumpet.
All good here. Glum day yesterday. Oh well.
Hope - here is that link! https://www.bellybelly.com.au/forums...formation.html
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Dory: Thankyou for your condolences and a huge thankyou for all that you said. You have no idea how lovely it was to read your post. It is so hard as sometimes you do feel like you have no one to turn to, especially when it isn't a known happening. The link that you posted for me to look at was great. I actually copied and printed it so I can take some notes to know what other things I can ask OB when I see him.
Your right, it is called Clexane. I had to take this once before when I had a DVT. It is also administered by injection into the abdomen. I did not know you could take this while pregnant, maybe that is something I need to look into a little further.
Thankyou also for the info on your friend. There are so many possibilities. I think that sometimes you just take what the OB tells you and leave it at that. These forums are such a great idea for people in similar situations to be able to bounce off of each other.that the TTC journey isn't too long and has a great outcome, not only for me but for anyone else TTC.
TeniBear: Thankyou for your welcome
Hello to everyone else.
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Hi Ladies,
I am new to this thread, although I have been reading along for a few weeks. I thought it was probably time for me to take the plunge and introduce myself.
DH and I have been TTC since June ’06. We have been pregnant 6 times, but unfortunately we have lost them all at 5 weeks (the last one was April 20th). We started a little late in life (38 in ’06). Unfortunately this has become a catch-all answer for our doctors (with no scientific investigation mind you). Thankfully, we have been able to find (on our own) an RE that is willing to look for a medical cause beyond my ‘advanced maternal age’.
Dory – the link you provided to Hope was extremely helpful to me as well. My RE poo-poo’d the immune causes as being unsubstantiated/controversial, however he did agree that if the ‘traditional’ testing came back clean, then he would be willing to investigate the less conventional causes. In the meantime, I’m using transdermal progesterone 2 DPO through to AF since my mid-cycle progesterone is on the low side of normal. This may not be the cause, but it certainly can’t hurt. I am a little hesitant, however, about the aspirin for possible clotting issues since I tend to bruise/bleed fairly easily. The RE did a thrombophillia panel, as well as karyotyping on me and DH, so we’ll see what that says when the results come back.
Hope – You may want to check out the book ‘From Hormone Hell to Hormone Well’. I found it to be extremely helpful and they talk about supplemental progesterone use (among other things).
Although I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy, I’m so glad to have found a group of women who understand what DH and I are going through. Many well-meaning family and friends have inadvertently said some hurtful things. “At least it happened early” is one I particularly hate, as though I had no right to grieve. These children were real to us. They are not interchangeable. They are not disposable. If we are ever lucky enough to have a living child, it will not erase or replace the children we have lost.
I’m so happy to have found this group. I really look forward to getting to know all of you better and to support each other through this stressful time.
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