aries - thanks for your words. you will do what is right for you. i didn't intend for you to feel judged in any way by my post and i really hope you don't feel that way. counseling has really helped me, but it's all about finding someone you connect with.
Oh no Dory I never thought that in any way, I didnt feel judged at all. I appreciated what you wrote, it gave me another angle to look at. It made me think about my little boy and what I have missed with him gone and that I should be focussing on getting myself back together before I have the responsibility of another little one. Me getting anxious and worked up cannot be doing my body any good and maybe its even making TTC even harder. So I thank you

to everyone will be back later for personals.

xox