Powelly - test results sound great. I hope AF has calmed down.

Tess - that must be frustrating. Maybe it's time to break out the big guns and buy a First Response?

AFM - I finally got an +ve OPK, so am waiting for a temp rise tomorrow or Friday. I know it's kind of a waste of money, given we're not TTC yet, but I'm a control freak and I need to know if things are working. Also, I got them on sale - 7 for $10 at priceline, so I can justify that.

We caught up with friends over the weekend for lunch. Their baby girl was born 2 weeks before DS. It was nice to meet her and hold her, but it was difficult too. DH's friend was asking lots of qustions, trying to understand what we're going through. I don't know, it felt like an intellectual exercise for him. I know he meant well, but it's really hard talking about our son like that. Then "Somewhere over the Rainbow" came on and I lost it. I had to run down to the bathroom and have a cry. We played that song at Leo's funeral. I was embarassed but at the same time, I don't want to feel like I need to apologise for missing my son. Then later that night I had another meltdown. I think keeping the defences up when we see people takes energy out of me and the longer I do it, the worse the meltdown afterwards.