hey!
For once i had a good whole weekend...we went to phillip island on the sat and spent a great day at the beach with everyone. Beautiful weather and hardly anyone down there was great! And a nice surprise as normally in the heat it is packed! At one stage though mum saw a white butterfly flying around us and pointed it out and my DH said it had been around us the whole time we were at that spot and it made me teary so i walked away. but it was a nice feeling knowing that someone else remembers Jack (the butterflies are our symbol for him) apart from us. Then when we were shopping, mum pointed out a really huge butterfly that was having a ball flying around inside the store and i said that it was like the 2 we had released at jacks memorial service as they were huge and she said that is why she pointed it out to me. So i really think he was around us that day as a day like that was long overdue! Then on sunday we were at my FILs house and had a BBQ and another swim (YAY!) and his brother and 5 mth old baby were there and i was able to hold her with no tears or thoughts of Jack. I just really enjoyed having a baby close to cuddle which was a huge improvement on christmas when i walked in the front door and saw and her, burst into tears and for the rest of the day could'nt even look at her. (horrible, i know, but it was less than a month after, i 'm not gonna apologise for those emotions)
We DTD a few times over the weekend and unlike most of the other times I have'nt been in 2 minds about the whole TTC process. So we'll see, maybe a nice relaxing weekend was just what my body needed!
Katie - have you been to your NEW OB yet? i know you saw the other, i hope i did'nt miss a post if you have? Just wondering what they had to say since you have been seeing your natropath? And i think it is my fear of opening up the discussion like with Dh that is stopping me. I might go see my loss midwife counsellor and talk also and get my rubbish out a bit so i am more open to his responses maybe?!? your trips sound really nice, and a good idea! I am really quite nervous about may3rd (jacks EDD), i hope we have some extra money lying around so we can go somewhere also. I'll need to be away!
barbara - we move on the 25th of march so still a while away! But we are getting closer to the date so i'm just gonna keep counting down. the only thing about the new house will be that we were moving because we were preg so it possibly may bring a few other new feelings up or hopefully will just be a new beginning. But i'll just keep dealing with each challenge. And i am with katie -could you speak to your mother about how she refers to anthony? I know it yet another hurdle to take (and one i yet to take with DH) but maybe it would help for anytime she refers to him in the future. How do you speak to her about him? I use Jacks name and it still freaks people out but as some of you have mentioned, i heard his heartbeat, felt him move and held him when he was born, he is a baby! Has your mum seen pictures, i showed my mum and we went through all his features that my loss midwife had pointed out to me the day after he was born and that was a really important thing for me to do as a mum with my mum. tm -hope you are doing ok!:hugs:

take care everyone! xxx