Ok - I'm in serious need of some advice. I went to a highly recommended Chinese medicine guy on Friday and to say it went badly is an understatement. Firstly - alternative medicine is right up my alley so, in going, I had pinned a lot of hopes it. I've been seeing a naturopath since before we lost Alfie (april) and felt that while I was getting somewhere personally I was no closer to the BFP. So I tried this guy who has had incredible results in my circle of friends. Bascially he told me this
1. Hormonally I've shut down completely
2. It would be impossible for me to carry a healthy baby at this point ( but worse) he doubts I ever will
3. I have become obsessed with having a baby and this has caused me to have clouded judgement over every other decision making process in my life
4. While he's happy to work with me he believes that it will be six months before I am functioning at a level that will support a pregnancy - however he stressed that after six months he believes I will no longer yearn for this child (hmmmmmmmmmm) and that I have only dreamed of another child for the last six years because of this clouded judgement
5. If I did happen to conceive in this time that it would end in a disasterous result.

So I've cried uncontrolably for 36 hours and feel like my dreams are shattered...now here's the problem...I am not so fickle that just because he said this it must be true however I do accept that the physical health of the mother and father at the time of conception is vital. So I think it's important to continuing seeing him. But I'm anxious that he might be right.
He didn't say "Come to me, we'll do some work, get you on track so you're ready to go" he was saying "Come to me, I will fix you up but prepare yourself because you're not going to have another healthy child"
So my question is this...At what point, for self preservation alone,do you prepare yourself that maybe this will never happen? Do I stick to my guns and drag myself, DH and our painfully aware DS and DD through this journey that never seems to end? and if I do throw in the towel - WHAT IN THE Bl***Y hell has the last six years been about? Is it possible that this journey will end without the happy ending? If so, I'm not sure how to begin to deal with that.
I understand that I can completely dismiss what he said as rubbish and keep on going but, truth is, what he said touched a very very very raw nerve and I'm terrified he may be right.
George