Mel
I agree with the others I think you are extremely brave to have asked for help. I know that I have had some very very low days (as we all have) and thought i cannot cope, but am too scared to go and see anyone for fear of what they will say or people think of me.
I am so glad that they are helping you feel better - that way you will be able to see the light above all that fog and start helping yourself through this.
We are here when you need to talk though - the pills are there to help as we are!
Take care, T.
Good on you Mel for taking that step and I am so very glad you are feeling better.
You are courageous and strong and an inspiration.
I do know what you mean about cycle times rolling along and before we know it it is O time again... Are you going to use your opk's again this month? Everything is crossed Mel for this month for you...
Just a quickie - I am at work and only have a 3 mins until I am due back but I just wanted to say thank you to you all for your support. My morning has been shocking, I will elaborate later but basically my DH lost it on the way to work this morning at this poor guy who walked out in front of the car and started using the C word at him and everything (he doesnt use that word, in fact he hates it) and he got so angry and the look on his face scared me so much So after a massive argument he admitted that lately he feels that he cant cope and feels like we would all be better off without him. I think it is a good thing that it has happened because I always thought he was doing ok, in a way it is nice to know he is struggling as much as I am but also I feel bad that I have neglected him a little and thought about myself. Anyway, now we can move forward and try to help each other. I think the S&K meeting tonight might help both of us. And we are going to speak to someone while we are there and talk to them about any other counselling they other. I think we both are in severe need of help. As much as this morning needed to happen, it is really hard because I am a temp and I cant just go in and sit at my desk and cry and really thats all I want to do... have a big cry
But thank you again, to come in here and see how much support I have makes it a little easier
Sorry your day started off so badly Mel - it is difficult when our DH's seem to be handling it so well. My DH does not say anything normally just sits and listens to me when I want to cry. But now and again he will say something and it is really hard to know what to say in response as it is a shock. I hope you get the advice you want from the S&K meeting tonight - you have to stick together to get through this (and you both will!).
Hey Mel - I am sorry that you have had a bad morning and that DH lost it. I find that when my DH has his rare mini-breakdowns about it that it can be relieving to know that he feels like I do, but at the same time, it is so hard to see him upset because unlike us girls, it takes alot for them to show it. It can sometimes throw me. At least now he can get some of ot out and you guys can move forward, even if it is just one step. I hope the S&K meeting goes well for you both. I am glad to hear that he is going along too. There is only one husband at our one here and it is really great to see him there supporting his wife and to see his point of view. you will find that the first meeting is quite hard, as you tend to go through your story with new people and hear theirs also and it is very draining. But stick it out and you might feel a real sense of relief once it's over. Let us all know how you go.
Mel - I hope you are doing ok - don't feel bad about going on AD - this is not a bad thing. Post Natal can hit all of us even without a baby - it is a natural thing. So do what you have to do to make you feel better. Sorry to hear about DH this morning but it is good for him to release it. The meeting tonight will be a great help i guarantee it (it will be sad though but well worth it). Here is a big :hugs:
Klee - enjoy your meeting too tonight and i hope that you get something out of it.
Lynn - sorry to hear about the BT - do they explain what is going on ? Did you have to go thru all of this to conceive with Cooper ? I hope you are ok and i hope the docs sort this out for you asap and that you get better results today.
As for the stats on deaths, stillbirths etc - just too high isn't it. I just wonder how many babies can be saved (hindsight is always good) but how long does a baby really have to "cook" for before something goes wrong. One GP i saw a couple of months back said there are 1000's of things that can go wrong that they just don't know about yet or don't have an answer for...great isn't it and we just happened to fall into that category.
Bailey - how is the Bedding going - more DH must be copping it - good to hear ! My husband would be soooo jealous!
Flowerchild - do you want to do my ironing ? I loathe it and cop it every week about my poor ironing skills - i mean i can't help it if his shirts get creased when i put them back in the wardrobe. I think i might go on strike How are you feeling ?
Hello to Tess, Spring, Sarah, Alex and everyone else - hope you are having a wonderful day.
Emily is doing a lot better but now i think she is constipated (nothing is coming out although she is letting off some mean "froggies" so something must be coming). She is hounding me for chocolate as we speak - no way missy !
Last edited by tommysmum; May 8th, 2007 at 04:19 PM.
Hi, Sorry to be the big fat downer,but not in a good space at all. I had a 6 week scan and was told baby was fine and had a healthy heartbeat to be only told today at my 8 week scan baby had died at 7weeks 6 days. Am terribly gutted, and just wanted to let you wonderful woman who have been a fantastic support over my many losses, that I dont know what to make of it all and dont really know what Im doing anymore!Going for the dnc again. I probably wont be posting anymore, I think im at the end of my ttc days, as they dont know whats causing it, and dont seem to really want to help. All my blood test, testing of the baby etc have told them nothing.
So to ev eryone in here, please take care, and Im sure those of you who havnt got the BFP will be getting it VERY soon. To those of you who are,I pray that all goes well and you have a healthy and happy pregnancy
Love chelle
Oh Chelle I am so sorry... I can imagine how hideous you are feeling and I am so sorry my love... :hugs:
Please come in and get the support you need to heal through this time.
Nothing I am saying is truly reflecting how awful I feel for you ... Big big hugs and take good care ...
Deb, You have no idea just how much those words meant. Tears definately flowed, and the more I do that the little bit better I feel, so thankyou very much...I just have to make it through the night! tommorow is a new day!
Mel: I am not sure if you saw my post last night but I just wanted to send you big brave girl
I am proud of you for getting the help you need and I am also happy that you trust us enough to share.
Lynn: I am not sure if you feel like posting but I just want to say I hope you had wonderful results today. We are here for you whether the news be good or not so good :hugs:
Chelle
I know it won't ease the pain but I'm sending you big hugs and much love
Remember everyone is thinking of you and your DH
I hope the night is kind to you and brings strength and hope
Much love
Alex
xxx
Chelle I am so so sorry. Life is just so unfair and cruel and I'm sorry that you have to go through this again. If you need the support, know that we are all here for you. If you need your own space then we understand. Take care, thinking of you and your family :hugs:
Chelle - I am so sorry you are going through this again Life is so unfair, some people have to work so hard for something they want (and lets face it, need) but yet for others it comes so easily. I ask myself all the time why we are the ones chosen for the hard road and I cannot come up with a reason. However, if we have to go through this at least we can go through it together and with so much support. If you feel you need to hang around please do, whether you TTC again or not. I am sure you still need the support, maybe even a little more.
Deb - Sorry to hear to about your friend, :hugs: to her and Spring is right, she is extremely lucky to have such a wonderful (and clever) friend.
Klee - I was so great meeting you and DP, you were extremely strong telling your and Phoebe's story and yours and all the others made me feel so sad and teary. If only I could have gotten teary at my own story - everyone must have thought I was a freak not crying talking about Nicholas, I just couldnt though
Spring - Try not to stress too much about lil Spring, I remember with Nicholas it wasnt until towards the 30 week mark that I used to feel him moving around more than not, and from then on he was such a rough-nut too! Listen to your OB (& Deb of course) he has gotten you this far... Although I can understand why your stressed so big for you anyway.
Lynn - I already spoke to you about your results yesterday, I am hoping so much that there is some really good stuff going on in there tomorrow. Hope you are feeling ok.
Hi to everyone else.
Well to catch you all up on the argument with DH, he found last night to be really helpful and made me realise that it was his first opportunity EVER to talk to another father who has lost their baby. I have you girls but he has no one who understands what it is like for him. I mean I understand my feelings but dont know what he feels. He said that he wants to continue to go to the meetings and he is going to try to be more open with people instead of pretending everything is good. I think yesterday made me realise that I have been relying on him to support me but forgetting he needs my support as well. God I feel like a bad wife! But I am aware that he is not coping as well as it seems now so we just have to try to work together.
Well like Klee, I am absolutely wrecked today so I am going to have a quick read through some threads and go to bed (well after I eat a veg pastie, so easy having them in he freezer!).
Mel: I am glad that yesterday opened up some lines of communication with you and DH about your grief and how you are both dealing with it. I guess no one writes a book about how to get through this so we are all fumbling our way through this journey. Don't be worried that you didn't cry, sometimes I am the same when I talk about Harry, some times I ball, that is how unpredictable grief is.
Mel - Great to hear you and DH found the meetings helpful. I agree with Spring, sometimes I can tell my story without crying and other times I cannot get a word out without blubbering. Not sure why, it is so random. I sent you a little good luck charm yesterday to give you some good vibes for this month. Hopefully you will get it tomorrow
Spring - I know that everyone has already said, but please try not to stress about movements yet. One of the reasons that you don;t need to do kick charts this early on is because the movements are too hard to feel unless the baby is in the right position. They still have so much room in there you just cannot always feel them. I know it is easy for us to say. I am sure that in a few months we will be here posting the same thing and you will giving us our own advice back....
Well me, still not sure when these bl00dy eggs of mine are going to show up!! I have been doing the OPK's for a week. The line seemed darker today, but still not as dark as the control, so I am hoping that it will be positive tomorrow. I have been temping for 2 weeks to, and there hasnt yet been a rise, so I don't think I missed it? But we have been DTD quite a bit, so hopefully we caught it!!
Chelle
I was so sorry to read your news - I am sending hugs and best wishes to you and your family. I hope you manage to find a doctor who is willing to help you real soon.
I have to get this off my chest, when they told me the bad news again, which I was just absolutly numb I tell you, it felt like the room was just spinning, they left me for what seemed like forever! I looked up at the screen(I refused to look at it the whole time) and I saw the wee what I will call baby(even tho I know it wasnt). It seemed so perfect and so still, and I just couldnt believe it was just there sitting with no movement. I cant explain how I feel this time, but Im so mad that God has taken another of my so much wanted and so precious children... Im a catholic, I go to church not all the time, but I do go, my children all go to catholic school, Im trying so hard not to be so angry at him.I prayed everyday, all the time for this wee soul to stay. NOw Im mad at this wee soul for not wanting to stay. I look at all my darling children and I think Im so blessed to have them, becausethey chose to stay with us...My youngest especially so, because the most of my losses have happened since I had him. All I wanted was a mate... boy was I wrong.This is probably all sounding so very wrong and I apologise, but I think I feel better thru my tears and sobs. I know Im also being selfish, because Lynn, you are waiting for some good results and here I am blabbing on. You are all wonderful woman who are all wanting the same results, and I know you will get them. Time is such an awful thing, when you want it now.
There is so many things I want to say to all of you, but for now just a big thankyou for all your kind words.
Much love Michelle
So after a massive argument he admitted that lately he feels that he cant cope and feels like we would all be better off without him. I think it is a good thing that it has happened because I always thought he was doing ok, in a way it is nice to know he is struggling as much as I am but also I feel bad that I have neglected him a little and thought about myself. Anyway, now we can move forward and try to help each other. I think the S&K meeting tonight might help both of us. And we are going to speak to someone while we are there and talk to them about any other counselling they other. I think we both are in severe need of help. As much as this morning needed to happen, it is really hard because I am a temp and I cant just go in and sit at my desk and cry and really thats all I want to do... have a big cry 
How are you feeling ?
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