I really don't know how to express how thankful I am to everyone for your thoughtful posts.

I recognised I was close to melt down this morning so went to my GP...thought I should get the gastro checked anyway...and I think through our chat I've worked out what has triggered this melt down.

We've been 'plodding' along for years ..yes we've had a 'few' second opinions and all with the same recommendations for treatment so we have stuck with our clinic...but after this last mc something changed...suddenly my FS is all 'action stations'...my HcG levels dropped on Monday and we were sitting in his office first thing Thursday for a review appointment..normally you wait at least a month for an appointment...he came in early just to see us which is nice...it's like they've just realised I'm 36 in November...and I think they've freaked me out a bit and made me reflect on what we have been through in the past 8 years. We have taken breaks in the past...mainly due to finances and trying to balance TTC and life...sometimes a girl just 'needs' a new car...a nice piece of furniture...or two...IYKWIM!!!!

So where to from here? Don't know...but I feel like we're standing at a cross road...hearing of your successes renews my hope...and I guess that's what's kept us going this long...the ...'what if the next cycle is the cycle'....we always said our cut off was 40...that we'd take an amazing overseas holiday for our 40th's and that would be closure...yet here I am at 35 and tired already...I feel like a failure...but that's today.