need your opinion??

[Nadine216]

I hear what the girls are saying and I would be offended if I had to pay my own meal without reason
SO ...
why not put a note in your invite that says that you don't want a wedding gift and that the money that you save by letting the guests pay for their own food would be used to "buy" you a bubba ???
Print something like: Instead of buy us a gift, give us the gift of live by paying for your own meal ($$ per person) and let us pay for a little brother/sister for Chloe. (Ok, I am not good at this sort of stuff, but I am sure someone can be MUCH more creative )
I don't know if it's public knowledge that you are on ivf treatment, but if I get an invite that says that I must pay for my meal INSTEAD of buying a gift, I will be jumping up and down, because I don't have to frett over what to get the couple. And I would be glad to help a couple to have another buba.
Don't know if that makes sence.
Otherwise, make your wedding SMALLER!! Less guest = less money. And I like the idea of paying for the food and having an open bar. That is something you see more and more, you can just have some free juice on the table and a bottle of bubbly and VOLA

:hugs:

OMG - did not notice that it sounds like a fundraising then I'm sorry if that was insensitive, it just popped in my head and I did not reread my post before hitting the button!!!

[Hollybolly]

I would be much more inclined to go for the idea of paying for the meals & making them pay for their own drinks.
Prices for alcohol are pretty standard at all places, so they can choose how much or how little they want to spend...

I understand you're choosing to spend the $$$ on IVF rather than a wedding - We were exactly the same, have been together for 7 yrs, done 4 full IVF cycles but have only gotten married 4 weeks ago - Because the IVF for us always was more important.

We decided to get married when we did because we've spent so much on IVF, and decided it was time.

How much have you already booked, because you can always get around things cheaper without having to sacrifice what you want.

My dress cost me less than $50 - I bought the material and had my aunty make it for me - Do you know anyone that can make it for you, perhaps as a wedding gift?

Have you got a Jumbo kids clothes shop near you? (They're usually in Westfields, etc), because they have flowergirls dresses & Christening dresses sizes 000 - 12 that are all $20 - some a little cheaper & some a little more expensive, although the most expensive one I've seen in there was $35.
We bought Luke a 5 piece suit for $55, and the dresses are lovely.

The other thing that we were considering initially was to just have a lunch or champagne breakfast at a restaurant for our wedding - that way we had to limit the number of guests as to how many the restaurant would hold. They will give you a set menu to choose from, and will throw in extra things for weddings - we used to own a restaurant & thats what we always did.
It was a much cheaper option - we only changed our minds because DH was adamant about doing what I had always wanted, which was to get married in the vineyards.
I would have been more than happy for the restaurant option - or if we had had friends/relatives that had a nice backyard, would have done that too.

Its really personal & private, so thats always nice.

I would also definately go with a wishing well - we put a little note in with the invites saying that no gift or money was necessary, but we would have a wishing well available for anyone who wished to contribute... we then said all of their contributions would be put towards our honeymoon.
You could do the same thing, but say that any contributions would be happily put towards your dreams for a baby brother or sister for Chloe.

You will find that most people will want to give you something, they would rather give you something that you want or need rather than trying to think of something for the sake of it - and you might be surprised to find how much you may actually get.

I have stacks more ideas if you need, just PM me!!
Likewise about the Jumbo stores for the flowergirl dress - then you can get one that fits her!!! I did some researching as to where their store locations were, so let me know.

Good Luck xxx

[Hollybolly]

Forgot to mention that my SIL went to her cousins house for a family bbq a few weeks ago - everyone was asked to bring a plate, they were paying for the meat & wine, but to bring spirits if they wanted to drink it.

They were also told to wear something nice, as they were going to get a photographer to do family photos - make the most of the opportunity because the family would all be together in the one place.

As it turns out, they had gotten a celebrant, and the bbq was actually their wedding!

They all just wore nice clothes - had their son & daughter as a page boy & flowergirl.

It was very simple and realxed, and apparently cost them next to nothing!

Just another idea......

[Lulu]

Look, everyone loves an invite to a big, flash wedding - BUT the best ones I've been to were the more relaxed and "cheaper' (that word sucks in this context).

I love weddings because I love the idea of sending off my friends into married life. I just want to be there to see it, have a little cry and cheer them on. This, I am sure is what most people would choose, rather than fancy pants chair covers and place cards.

OK, say you had a budget of $3000. It's doable!

Invites I did on the computer. I dare anyone to tell me they didn't look professional, it was easy and cost about $60.

Hall hire cost me $200. Best thing is, they let us have it for nearly the entire weekend so we could party as long as we wanted (hate getting kicked out at 11.30pm) and could tidy up without getting stressed.

I decorated the entire hall myself (and my sister, mum and one bridesmaid).

About a million lengths of muslin draped over all the rafters look magical and cheap as!

The tables and chairs were part of the hall hire. I found these fabulous rolls of cottonish type paper tablecloths - jazzed them up with some table runners I made (too freakin easy with an iron and lengths of fabric), and vases from the $2 shop filled with jelly beans in my wedding colours.

I bought a huge vase and used it as a mould. I made about 6 plaster of paris vases this way (about $10 the lot), filled them with native flowers and branches of Spinning Gum we gathered with week before.
The band I found at an irish pub. They would only do the gig if it wasn't at a reception centre - about $500. They were amazing. It's hard to find music to suit everyone, but I don't know anyone that can't do an irish jig when drunk!

No place cards or any of that bollocks. We hd a buffet dinner, we hired a caterer out of the phone book but they came with fantastic references. It was a bit scary but they cost about $18 a head. Everything else was either $5 per head (you CANNOT get a good feed for that) or $50 ph. It was a big gamble but it paid off. My dad insisted on tipping the chef AGAIN and so did most of the guests..

I found "cleanskin" wine and champagne (have fun testing it!). It was ridiculously cheap for what it was. We printed up our own labels, and it looked amazing. No spirits though. No one minded - Beer, wine, champers and soft drink.

I want you to have a dress that you love and you should. I MEAN THAT .

We went to 6 wedding the year before I got married. The worst ones was when the bride and groom obviously spent all their money on their own attire and the guest were literally left to fend for themselves, or the money was clearly all spent of the reception centre and the dress. The brides makeup was awful cos she had to cut back cos she spent so much on the dress....I can't even remember her dress now, but her bad, bad, hair is clear as a bell.

I also remember the wedding of a friend- she had to borrow $20k to cover it and therefore couldn't afford to have kids for another 5 years.

You can and should have a lovely wedding, a tight budget means nothing when you have all your friends and family wishing you well. Those are the parts you will rememeber fondly...

[cruemum]

Of course you could just buy two tickets to Las Vegas and elope!! it's a cheaper option and nobody gets put out. Then have a celebratory BBQ when you get home in lieu of a pricey reception.
Then maybe you can have both, wedding and IVF!!!
Dont know if this option helps but, hey it's an option!!
Good luck in your decision making.

[mrsmac]

I think Lulu has come up with some great ideas, as have others. Our wedding cost about $1200. My mum made my dress and flower girls dress. DH hired his suit. We were married by a celebrant in a beautiful park and then walked across the road to a hotel for the reception which was buffet in the restaurant but in a fairly private part so we sat in our own area and just shared the buffet with the other guests. We paid for food and soft drinks and just asked guests to pay for alcohol which no one minded (we told them beforehand) A local lady made us a mud cake and we had fresh flowers on it. I had a bouquet of flowers in season which makes it much cheaper (we were in Darwin so roses were too expensive)
Having had both types of weddings- the big fancy and the small intimate cheaper I would go smaller every time, its about you marrying the man you love with all your heart not about fancy trimmings and glitz.

[briggsy's girl]

i'm with everyone else - i'd rather the bride and groom, if they're going to be forking out $2500 - paid for their meal - it doesn't need to be that much anyway - we footed the bill for all food and drinks at our wedding for $2200 - reception venue was $150 for the weekend. we had 89 adults and 15kids. our wedding was in a friends garden (where we met) so no expense there. i DID have a more expensive dress than i'd anticipated, but that was only after we'd worked out our budget, arranged everything else, and realised we'd have a whole lot more so i bought rather than hiring my dress (DH wanted me to be able to keep it - hiring is always an option to reduce expense though). we had a band that cost us $600 - but that again was because we had spent less than we thought - initially we'd budgeted for a DJ or jukebox.

we printed our own invites (and they must have been ok cos i've done invites for three other weddings since then!) - cost next to nothing. bridal party paid for their own clothes (except the kids - we paid for three kids for $75)

don't put off something that you want to do because you want to pay for IVF - i know this is going to sound bad, but IVF isn't going to guarantee you a bubba straight away - putting your dreams on hold for IVF could honestly mean putting them on hold indefinitely - if you want to marry your DP, you'll make it happen - fancy white wedding isn't necessary - it's about the two of you becoming husband and wife - don't let it financially ruin you - too many people let that happen! I know you want another baby (i sooooooo understand that desire to dive in) - but you still need to live your life - we're approaching our second anniversary this month, with no success yet on the IVF journey - do you really want to put off your wedding to wait? i know i couldn't have done it...

all the best with making your choices - whatever they may be. feel free to PM for help in doing a wedding on a budget while still saving for IVF - it's not easy, but you can do it!

[Feathertop]

Hi,

I reckon if you plan to stick wiht the style and size of the wedding you already have planned, then put money towards food and not drink. Many people don't drink much or are the designated driver, but every single person there will want to eat.

We saved money on our wedding in a few ways:
- printed our own invitations (very classy they were too)
- keeing it down to 56 people
- my granny, my mother and I made the wedding cake together, it was a great intergenerational womens thing to do that had lots of meaning. (I've since made the cake for my brothers Bne, and US wedding, and my husbands brothers wedding so it must be all right!)
- we chose a reception option where we supplied our own alcohol, so we could buy things on special and in bulk, bonus was we got to take home the leftovers!
- no bridesmaids, just a best man and a best woman, and they got to wear whatever they liked.
- flowers from a lovely lady who worked as a florist from home (no shop overheads, perfectly fresh)
- used a relatives white Mercedes as the wedding car.

My brother had a really nice wedding in Brisbane at the registry office. He and his wife had no money (he's a student, she was over from the US and not working) so we arranged a really nice wedding with a bit of help all around. Becca got a nice white dress made up, and some flowers from the flower stand in the city on the day. They got married at the registry office which was actually really lovely, best man and best woman wore whatever they liked. We all walked down from the Novotel in Bne, then walked back and took tons of pics in the gardens - they just compiled them all afterwards and picked the best for their album (which looks terrific). I arranged a ****tail type reception in the Novotel bar, spent $100 on 4 huge hot and cold food platters with tons of leftovers. My parents put $400 on the bar, some was left over. We made the cake and served it up, it was fab. The family then went for dinner at a nice italian restaurant afterwards. I think it was excellent!!!

[mummy2chloe]

hey everyone

sorry havent been in here for a few days, dp is on days off so havent had much time to get on the computer.

just want to thank you ALL so much for your advise and details as to where i can save, we are still going ahead with the date but things have changed, it will be another year of saving to do ivf as there is no way we can afford to do both, so it will be 7yrs of ttc but on a good side i am getting married so thats good.

will be back in a few days to tell you all the details ( thats if you wanna hear it lol)

thanks again everyone for your help you have given me heaps of ideas

take care

[tan32]

Hi mummy2chloe,
My hubby and i keptputting of our wedding, in the end we married 8 months after outr son was born as i was so sick of putting our wedding off. We got married in the church i was christened in, it cost us a donation, which was not discussed, we were told it had to be something we could afford, we had a proffesional photographer as we wanted great photos to look back on in yrs to come. We held our reception at the function room in the local pub, they put on a smorasboard, DJ, and drinks for a set amount per person , our reception cost us around $3000, we had friends cars for our cars, my beautiful flowergirl dresses were brought in myer for $40 each, my bridesmaids paid for their own dresses and shoes and the groom and groomsman rented their suits. We made our own invitations, service books and place cards.

We had a great time and didnt break the bank, im glad we bit the bullet and went ahead,

[Lulu]

I forgot - the friend of mine that had to borrow 20k for thier wedding won just over a million dollars in lotto about a year later!!!!!!!!