Babies Born April 2008 #2

[Fire]

Tarnee, that's crap, very old fashioned (emotionally dangerous) advice about putting a baby down and expecting them to just "fall asleep". Sometimes they do, but it isn't going to happen other than accidentally when what they want is a warm human body - it is an inbuilt expectation, a need of human contact. This has been studied and verified. What health facility do you go to? Next you'll be hearing, "just go in every few minutes, reassure the baby, and leave... soon enough they'll learn... well, they'll learn never to trust us cos we'll never respond to their pleas for comfort" Those health centres need new rule books, seriously. The only thing a baby needs to "learn" is that life is safe, mama is always there, and comfort is there at merely a glance.

HTH. Trust yourself, mama, follow your gut.

This issue is a trigger point of mine, is that obvious? I had to heal my first born because of that same advice. She's still healing... she's six years old.

[Fire]

I should mention, since my last post was a bit short on it, that I'm only talking about crying or otherwise distressed babies. Not contented babies laying on their own.

Sorry, should have mentioned that.

[Clueless]

hi there, I am now joining this group!
My daughter will not sleep during the day. I am talking awake from 6am and still awake at 8pm!! So sharon I hear you - I wonder why she crys so much- I'm a nice person, I sing to her, she's been fed, shes warm etc..... She is alert too for most of that time, but i cant do anything to get her to sleep, even an hr out in the stroller, she immediately wakes up as soon as we walk back through the door.
at least she sleeps at night quite well.
Anyone have any ideas for good bottles and teats to minimise air intake?? Daphne loves to spew up my hard earned expressed milk which makes me cry. Ive bought gripe water and infacol and will start trying them today, but we will need to move up to the next size bottle very soon and if Avent is not the best I'd like to change.

[Sharon19270]

Fire I have to admit, that when Oliver is screaming after a little while of just talking calmly to him he does tend to settle down, DH usually sits there with him talking in a very loving voice, but saying things like "what a load of rubbish" "such a lot of noise for a little boy" etc so maybe at this age it's not exactly what you say, but how you say it LOL
Clueless have you tried watching out for the tiredness signs, and then wrapping/swaddling and then going into dimly lit room (close blinds/curtains if you have to) and then trying to get her to go to sleep. I found, especially with Jordan, that if I missed those 'signs' (sucking fists, fidgeting, eyes not focussing or looking at you, grizzling) it was much harder to get him to settle, with Oliver, as soon as I notice 1 or more of those signs, I wrap him and put him in his bassinette, it can take up to 20 mins for him to go to sleep, I don't let him cry himself to sleep, but try at first without a dummy, if he starts to grizzle, I give him a dummy, stroke his head, give him a quiet shhhhhhhh, and softly pat his tummy, then walk out, but in saying that, I know that I think I am very blessed to have a baby that can settle himself the majority of the time. Jordan drove me crazy, he was a catnapper, and I did end up going to tresillian when he was 6 months because he then started to refuse to go to sleep at night too. Otherwise all I can suggest is that you may end up having to invest in a sling or baby bjorn.

So far, so good with the thickened formula, he has had 3 feeds, and all 3 of them he took around 110ml with little to no pain at the end and with little to no regurgitation, I am still going to wait and see how he goes with his feed after his bath, but am feeling quietly confident (but also a little nervous)

[Fire]

nak

sharon, did you get him checked for reflux? babies chuck as a way to self regulate how much food they intake, as they are like goldfish and will eat until distended at times. this is very often mistaken as reflux and thickeners are given; effectively jamming that chuck mechanism. reflux is a sphincter problem, and much rarer than most think.

just me two pennies again. i promise myself i won't ramble anymore but it seems i can't help it when someone's in need... sorry if it annoys at times...

[Sharon19270]

Fire no we didn't get him checked, thought we would see how he went, DS had reflux so bad that he made his esophagus bleed and he ended up being medicated until he was 8 months old, when he did finally start to improve. I really don't think Oliver's vomiting was an over eating problem, as he had dropped down from taking between 90-100ml each feed to 70-80ml each feed, sometimes as little as 60ml, and he was only feeding every 3.5 to 4 hours, and since he weighs 5kg he should be having around 600ml/day but the way he was going he was getting, at most 480ml/day. Like I said we will see how we go, and I may try and get up to see the community nurse on Monday or Friday next week and just find out what she thinks. And please, keep up with the advise, it is great to have different points of view and perspectives of things when it comes to babies

[alittlegrubi]

Fire please don't concern yourself with annoying anyone with your 2 bits worth, there are often things that you post that make me go off on a google search like your Ms Aletha Solter's philosophy post, I'm going to research that one. We might get annoyed, but after all we won't all find the same things work for us as they do for you, but I love having the opportunity to try new ways.
Clueless DS was like Daphne, could only get 45 mins max in my arms during the day. Try as Sharon said going into a darkened room, I found that getting DS to sleep by laying him on my chest, his tummy on my chest allowed me and him to get some sleep. We also experienced the same thing with the pram - have you tried just walking around the house with the pram?
Sharon that Oliver stays good.

I also thing I've worked out why I was in pain yesterday, pants were cutting in just above the incision when sitting and that seems to have caused some pain - so back to wearing maternity clothes for comfort ATM.

[mgm]

Fire I had an awful nurse one night at hospital (thank god I only had her once) who asked whether I was happy having the baby in bed with me. I said yes, I was. 'She'll get used to it, you know', she said - I replied that this was fine. Besides, I'd had a c-section the day before and bed was really the only place I could keep my baby to be able to look after her. But not able to leave it alone, she told me that the smell of the mother's milk is 'unnerving' for the baby. One of the most bizarre things I've ever heard from a midwife! She added that having her in bed with me was against hospital policy (it wasn't). I couldn't be bothered even entering into a discussion with her. If I'd told her I co-slept with DS til he was almost 4 she would probably have died of shock!

Tarnee I have a friend whose babies all fall asleep by themselves, with little or no assistance. They were born this way and have remained great sleepers. Some people have all the luck!!

Sharon hope you're feeling better and that Oliver's crying will ease up soon. DD isn't much of a vomiter but the times that she has, she's been extremely distressed by it. It doesn't take much to set them off... or maybe it is just to torture us...

green poo - any babies with this? DD's has been bright green for a week or so, although there are signs it may be returning to a more normal colour. MCHN is suggesting lactose intolerance - but oh god i don't think i can give up dairy, life is difficult enough already! i may just cut down and see if it makes a difference.

[alittlegrubi]

MGM - re the green poo - if DD is entirely breastfed - it is a warning sign that all is not well. Is DD not gaining weight? Does your milk supply seem fine? If so it could be that she is getting too much foremilk and not enough hindmilk. As the foremilk is more dilute, with more lactose and less calories, it stimulates your baby's digestive tract to move the milk along too fast producing green, often explosive, nappies! Try starting on the breast you last fed on or only give one breast per feed and see if that helps. otherwise it could be an intolerance to something in your diet.
I still co-sleep with my son and like you because of a c-section I've had DD in bed with me too.

[sarah_dobbo2]

MGM: Wyatt has has Bright green poo for last week and bit, MW said that it ok/fine. As long as they are putting on weight nothing to worry about. He's starting to turn to yellowish/brownish now.

[mgm]

thanks sarah and grubi. i know about the imbalance thing - but it's not that, and dd is gaining weight well, 600g in two weeks last time we checked, and she was a tiny thing at birth so that's a big gain for her.

sarah i'm glad your nurse said green poo is ok! maybe it will just go away and i will be able to continue drinking hot chocolate at night...

[Nettie]

Having a rough day here people... very teary.

Is anyone else still bleeding? Mine tapered off and has now come back with a vengence (sorry if TMI). I mean I've gone back to super sized pads! I'm also getting crampy pains along with some aching in my gut (ovaries??)

I'm also VERY tired (not just from lack of sleep, but actual lethargy) so I'm a bit worried that I'm iron deficient or something. Rang today to get in to see an Ob (not my usual one) and the earliest appt I can get is next Wednesday! Think I'll ring the MW tomorrow to ask for her advice on this.

Poor DH copped it today from me being all moody... he's such a saint putting up with me! He even cooked me a nice beef schnitzel for tea! AND did the dishes!

Liam's now in bed, but this is his 'unsettled' period - so I'm expecting him to wake anytime soon. Might lay on the couch and watch Ramsay...

BTW - I don't have a Greater Union cinema near me unfortunately. I'm also highly likely to get irritated with other people's kids at a babies session! Selfish, I know, but realistically I can imagine me not enjoying myself properly. I like to lose myself in a movie and that's hard to do with someone else's kid screaming behind me. DH & I will go in turns to our local cinema (only $7.50 a session too!) if we really 'must' see a movie in the cinema! Thanks for the idea though - very much appreciated!

[Sharon19270]

alittlegrubi well the chucks that Oliver does do, do tend to smell 'acidy' so I am thinking he may have reflux. Take it easy with the housework hun, if your SIL wants to help out by doing them for you, then let her.
Nettie ooh, I can't wait for the next Indiana movies, I Lurve Harrison Ford I also want to go and see the sex in the city movie. My AF went away for about 4 days but I have started spotting again, since yours has come back at full force, do you think it could actually be the start of your cycle?
Tarnee I have to agree that Charlotte could be having a slow weight gain week, because in the end it all averages itself out. I am lucky, the majority of the time when I put Oliver down for his sleep he is still awake (kind of), he usually looks at me as I am tucking him in, I will give a little shhhhhhh, and softly stroke his head, and 9/10 times he will settle himself off to sleep.
Fire my DH has been fantastic too, last night after calming Oliver down, and getting him off to sleep, he took Jordan and went off and did the weekly grocery shopping, came back an hour later, and then cooked Jordan's dinner, and offered to cook me something too, I really don't know what I would do without him.
Beatrix yay for finding something that will give your boobies a break. Oh and I added you to my msn, my details for msn are ce_nedra2005@hotmail.com
mgm feeling a little better today, Oliver still had a screaming session at 5.30pm but luckily DH got home right at the start of it and immediately took over, I took over after about 45 mins and wrapped Oliver, then sat in his room in my rocker and he eventually went off to sleep.

Well, had a better day today, but after the 'witching hour' and DH cooking me dinner, and much discussion between us as to whether Oliver could have reflux or not, since he seems to regurgitate a fair bit, but not actually 'spit it out' and then this is followed by screaming, I decided that I was going to get the Karicare AR formula (the same that Jordan was on) but also had to buy teats that can cope with the thickened formula. He had his feed with the new teats (which also happen to be slightly bigger, but he didn't care) and formula, he drank 110ml, and he didn't seem to be gulping as hard, and his burps weren't as 'forceful' iykwim so I don't want to jinx myself but will wait and see what happens when he has his feed after his bath tomorrow, it goes well.

Nighty night all, i'm now heading off to bedfordshire

[Fire]

MGM, milk smell unnerving the baby? : pees-self-laughing: I guess absolute bliss can be translated as "unnerving" to some! Ci feeds in the wee small hours, pulls off and then uses the boob as a pillow - then a luscious smile comes over his face in milky bliss as we fall asleep in each other arms. Yeah, I'd call that unnerved! Geebs, the things they use to try to get us separated from our wains, eh. Good for you for standing your dig. :folds-arms-and-nods-appreciatively: You may have seen my birth story where I had an issue at the hospital about my empty "plastic box", which is more fit for a dog or gift holder than a baby.
Ci also has green poo at the mo (seems we are all going through similar things at similar times, must be largely developmental most of this stuff). I've heard it is as normal as mustard colour, but I am checking on google to be sure. I just dealt with oversupply and normalised so it isn't that for us at least. We went the other way for a while (too efficient at cutting back milk, I was!), a bit constipated with difficulty going so I actually had to UP my supply again with frequent feeds and he started going every day again, but some are green, yes. I'll let you know what I unearth!

Nettie! Big hug for you. I hate those rough days. They bite. I would get your bits checked out, that doesn't sound right. I lost blood until two days ago, but not that much. Although I have heard bleeding comes and goes for weeks and is still normal. My pain seems to have finally gone too. So I would just rule out anything suss.

Sharon, good hubbie! We should give them a raise.

Someone asked who I'm in love with at the mo... everyone it seems. Maybe I'm turning manic! Up one day and down the next. Although, I think it's just that everything seems so right at the moment, even the carp stuff, such as last night when Ci's snuffles blocked him up and he was restless from 2 until 3.30am. Blech. Seems when I feed him it clears it so I was marathon feeding last night.

I tried Aletha Solter's philosophy about the unexplained crying episodes being trauma and stress release yesterday. I did it with DD when she started tantruming at the age of 2. It worked a treat with her, she stopped tantruming forever and became more centered. So I did it with Ci yesterday when he was fussing at the boob, then wouldn't take it, was dry and all other needs attended to, I let him cry while I held him tight and listened to his sad story. It was soooo sad, too, he had a great scream about it, and I cooed sympathy in his ear. He revved up even more, then he slowed down, listened more often to my soft voice telling him "I know, it's horrible, I love you and I wish I could take your pain away." and he just went silent, gently placed his head RIGHT up against my neck and nuzzled (SOOOO cute I nearly cried) and sighed and fell asleep. He was in such an easy mood after that. I think Ms Solter is onto something. He may have several weeks left up his sleeve of balancing, but I'm up for the challenge. Makes me feel more useful than when I was flibberting around looking for ways to suppress his sadness. So, all in all, I feel pretty good today!

Warmth all round, Aprilites.