Babies Born April 2008 #5

[Nettie]

LOL Meg - you're not crazy. I've been thinking about the possibility (not of trying yet!) of #2...

Think I might join in on the 'bad mummy' group... not only for not changing him through the night, but I'm yet to begin a showering/massage/reading/bedtime routine with him. We shower him whenever he's awake and one of us is heading in the shower anyway (usually every 2 days) - but it can be at any time of the day; I usually massage him after a shower (but if I'm the one showering him, DH doesn't necessarily massage him) - would like to do it more, but I don't want to get him cold and it's a very cold house!; I've read to him a few times, but he really doesn't seem interested and would much rather I looked at him and talked. I sometimes sing to him which he seems to enjoy - but it's not with any regularity. I feel like I should have a routine with this but it's hard with him so young and his feeds aren't even predictable! Today he took nearly 2 hours to polish off 100ml with little naps in between... Lucky ready, steady, cook was on!

I'd like to start a routine for night time before I head back to work (in September)... let's keep our fingers crossed!

[alioops]

I know I am not an April Mummy, but I thought I might be able to help

Does expressing mess with your supply? I'm worried about getting too much milk again, now that my supply has chilled a bit. But I want to build a freezer supply, but don't want my body to go nuts replacing all that milk that His Chokeness has to deal with. Is there a best way to do it?

Fire, What sort of pump do you use? It is best to express when you are fullest, so first thing in the morning. If you do not want to increase supply, express only until you are comfortable, or have the amount you need. If you want to increase supply then keep going till there is not even a drop coming out.

Two half hour naps and I resigned to him in the sling (and here he still is, sleeping happily). I'm getting frustrated with it. I know he knows best where he wants to be, but this frontal carrying is stupid - we're the only culture that carries babies slung on the front. Other cultures are hip or back. And he can't do the ergo yet so we are seriously between carriers right now. Too big for the frontal, too young for back carry. And even if he could go on the back, I doubt he'd sleep there. I can't see that happening. Plus I wouldn't be able to sit down! So I will save that for awake time. But that means he really HAS to get used to the cot and do more than one cycle. I'm really neglecting DD and if DH weren't here, I don't know how I'd do all this. Other women have toddlers and manage a baby, how? DD occupies herself while I spend HOURS a day in the room trying to settle him. It isn't fair on any of us. I don't think I could go much longer with this cat napping rubbish, he is never truly rested and I'm never finished "settling" him that way.

What type of sling do you have? is it like a baby bjorn, or a sling? the normal slings can be worn in many ways. google bubzilla for videos on how to wear it.

Think I might join in on the 'bad mummy' group... not only for not changing him through the night, but I'm yet to begin a showering/massage/reading/bedtime routine with him. We shower him whenever he's awake and one of us is heading in the shower anyway (usually every 2 days) - but it can be at any time of the day; I usually massage him after a shower (but if I'm the one showering him, DH doesn't necessarily massage him) - would like to do it more, but I don't want to get him cold and it's a very cold house!; I've read to him a few times, but he really doesn't seem interested and would much rather I looked at him and talked. I sometimes sing to him which he seems to enjoy - but it's not with any regularity. I feel like I should have a routine with this but it's hard with him so young and his feeds aren't even predictable! Today he took nearly 2 hours to polish off 100ml with little naps in between... Lucky ready, steady, cook was on!

I'd like to start a routine for night time before I head back to work (in September)... let's keep our fingers crossed!

Nettie, you can start anytime. there is no Set time for a routine.

With night time nappy changes, girls you only need to do them if they REALLY need it, as in leakage or poo. if you are really worried about nappy rash put a barrier cream or some of Nessa's excellent second skin on them. it will not hurt them to go overnight in the same nappy, if you change them it makes it harder to reset their body clocks as to what is day and what is night.

If you think you are a bad mummy for making sure your baby is fed and clothed and well looked after, then I think you ladies are mistaken. You are everything your baby needs at this age, and Motherhood takes practice. have faith that you are a good mummy and dont second guess yourself. and keep an eye on the articles for any info that may have changed recently

Meg, with Temping, there is no reason why you shouldn't get in tune with your cycle. it can take a while to notice a pattern so chart away hun

[Fire]

Hi Ali thanks for the visit and info. i have a medela electric. i don't have morning engorgement cos i have a big night feeder (someting i hope to switch when he's older). so my breasts fill mid evening, when i'm trying to sleep. I have a HaB, a ring sling and an ergo. i also have a long piece of stretchy fabric i bought and use as a wrap, although we mostly use the hab because we didn't get the infant insert for the ergo, and we couldn't work out comfortable ways to wear the ring sling. it's still all frontal carry though, which pulls backs out of whack no matter how they're worn cos the human frame and posture was not designed for large frontal weight. i bought the fabric for high back carries but we failed at that, too.

[Trillian]

Hi everyone.

The Mod team have decided after much discussion that once this current thread reaches 140 posts, we will be splitting the group into two groups, along the lines of Belly Buddies as we have done with all the new Baby Buddy groups since May 2008. As some of you may have noticed the March girls also have a split group, so this is what initiated discussion to split this one. We understand that it may not be a popular decision, but this is what we feel is the best thing to do so it is in line with the March group and all the other groups from May onwards and there is no confusion to new members looking to join in and wondering why the difference.

This doesn't mean that you can't pop into both threads to have a chat with the other members though - many members post across threads and we don't have a problem with this at all.

If any of you have any questions or concerns about this, please PM or email me sherie@bellybelly.com.au or one of the other Baby Buddy Mods - Astrolady, Dachlostar or MistyFying.

Thanks

[BabyWrangler]

HI all..
Just thought I'd pop in cause I'm feeling a little bit like "mean mummy" and need to vent!
We decided, after 2 nights of going in to put the dummy in 100 times before the overtired boy managed to get to sleep, that its time to take the dummy away!
We also think it may be the reason he's grazing on his bottles rather than feeding properly as he's using the bottles as a dummy rather than as a food source!

SO...today for his arvo sleep (mind you he'd hit overtired by then....) I decided to start with the no dummy rule.
He was overtired so before I even decided that he screamed for 20 minutes!, After I got him to actually latch on to the dummy, I let him have it til he calmed, then took it off him and patted him til he was very quiet and quite dozey then I left him, and after talking to himself for 20 minutes he dropped off to sleep. He's been asleep an hour and 45 now and ha re-settled himself twice without me going in...he's wrapped with one arm out, and is laying on his taggie...I don't mind him doing that cause it doesn't involve us intervening!
The big test will be tonight....I feel awful as I know he likes his dummy, but he really was only given one because of his reflux, and now that thats sorted (and he keeps spitting it out anyway) I think its time for it to go. I read somewhere that habits for requiring dummy's etc form between 4 and 5 months, so if we can get rid of it before then that would be good!

Anyway...this mean mummy is off to check on her little man (I've done it about 10 times already cause I feel so awful, but its not like he's sobbing in his sleep like they do when they are really really upset...I just need to re-assure myself that he's ok!)...
Thanks for reading/listening!!!

[alioops]

Fire, Have a look at the videos on bubzilla. they will work with the ring sling also have a look at the babywearing threads for tips

BabyWrangler, Try to settle him before he gets overtired, that will reduce the crying and make the dummy removal easier

[BabyWrangler]

Hi Ali,
Yeah we rarely have him hit overtired, but today I was actually out and didn't get home til the "sleep now" window had closed!

Tonight (after waking him at 6pm cause he'd already slept through one feed) he had 120ml, then a bath, a little play in daddy's study while daddy made shelves, then 100ml bottle, into bed...bit of a scream, 1minute (if that) suck on his dummy, then a little cry while mummy patted, then because he was still upset after 10 minutes, I offered more food (due to him sleeping through a feed, I was pretty sure he'd be hungry) had 70ml, when his eyes started to droop, I popped him into bed, patted for a minute then left him talking...about 5 minutes later I went in cause he was quiet, he was stil away but patting his taggie....7 minuts later, sound asleep.

[Nettie]

BW - sounds like you're doing a fab job at losing the dummy. Liam's just discovered his mouth and has begun sucking at his hands/fingers. I'm kinda hoping he sucks his thumb (I did as a baby) because then we don't have to settle him with a dummy for sleeps (we have to hold it in for him because of his cleft palate). His teeth will probably need 'fixing' anyway because of the cleft - and he's completely covered for dental/orthadontics/plastic surgery on Medicare because a cleft palate is considered a birth defect. We won't know the extent of any teeth problems until they begin growing.

Boo hoo on the splitting of our little (big!) group. I've forgotten which of us have bubs born at which end of the month... Liam's b'day is 17th, so I'll be in the middle somewhere! I'll probably visit both groups to be honest...

Janine - don't some ethnic cultures carry bubs on their back from newborn? I'm sure some African cultures do... so it must be able to be done safely.

Liam's latest favourite toy is his hands - he's fascinated by them! Looks at them constantly and is always twiddling his fingers together (like he's plotting some evil plan! lol!) Can't wait for him to discover his feet because I've been given some 'foot rattles' - little animal faces with a rattle in them on a pair of socks... can't wait til he plays with them! So cute!

[Sequoia]

Liam's latest favourite toy is his hands - he's fascinated by them! Looks at them constantly and is always twiddling his fingers together (like he's plotting some evil plan! lol!)

Nettie, Baxter does this too! Especially in his car seat. We think he looks like Mr Burns from The Simpsons when he does this!

BW - woo hoo on taking the dummy away! Baxter loooooves his, and he settles so easily with it, it's going to be hard to take it away.

I'm away for a few days everyone, I turn 30 on Friday and DH is taking me to Perth for shopping, eating out, etc. All the fun things I like to do! Have a great weekend all.

SG
xo

[Fire]

BW, I just read about the PPO (Pantley Pull Off), which is in the no cry sleep solution. It is the way to remove the sleep association of sucking on a bottle/dummy/breast. I can share it with you just in case you find it useful, cos it's really gentle. It's basically let them suck until it turns to that fluttery comfort sucking, remove (before asleep). At first they'll reach and root for it, if so, give it back. Repeat until the magic moment when they don't fall asleep with anything in their mouth. She also says quit and start over at the next sleep or day if one or both of you get upset. It is, after all, the No Cry sleep solution. (Hmmm, I'd like to see that work around here! ) She allows months for these changes, so don't feel a failure if it takes a while. It sounds like your having success with little fuss anyway? But if you're feeling bad, I always say trust your mama gut, always trust that.

(like he's plotting some evil plan! lol!)

Oh my God, Nettie, that's totally what it looks like . And other cultures that carry, carry babies on their backs or hips. They think we're nuts trying to carry in front, and wonder how we can walk after months of that. It's no wonder so many of us give up slinging when our options are frontal. But we're a "sitting" culture, not fit for back carrying in general. The main problem I've found with our cultural differences is that fact - we're not active. All those other cultures are active and don't need the kind of solutions we need. Well, the MAIN difference would actually be they have many hands helping to bring a child up. We have two hands, sometimes four if we're lucky.

[Nettie]

Glad some of you understand the evil plotting thing! ha ha ha...

SG - pmsl about the Mr Burns thing... it so looks like that! Enjoy your birthday and little 'holiday'.

Liam's had a 'gunky' eye for the last day or so, but it seems a bit better today. Hope there's not much to it.

Anyway - he's grizzling in his cot (have the monitor next to me) so I'd better go see what's up. He'll probably grin at me as soon as I walk in... don't you just LOVE being a Mum??

[Sharon19270]

haven't been on in a couple of days as our internet connection died for some reason, but DH has fixed it now, yay.

Not sure how I feel about our group being split, can't remember who will be in what group, I know i'll be in the second half.

Don't know if this was a coincidence today or not, but my little boy went down after his morning bottle, woke after an hour so I went in and put dummy in and he went back to sleep for another 1.5hours, he did the same again after his 2pm bottle, and he NEVER sleeps like that in the afternoon, he is always really unsettled. So he is either, sick (he wasn't well for a couple of days, but that didn't make him sleep more/less than usual), learning to re-settle, or it was a fluke, i'm kinda hoping it was the 'learning to re-settle' one myself.

Anyways, have to go, time for sneaky feed. TTFN

[Fire]

Do we get randomly split? And how will I find my group? There are some of you here that I want to spend the time with, we should have been given a vote on a poll or something as to which group you choose . I guess our group was big after all.

I've given up for the time being on the settling thing. He started getting tearful when I walked into the room or if I said naptime. That's not the reaction I was looking for. He isn't used to sleeping alone so I have to take this really slowly. Ho hum. So this is what a day will look like if I relax about it:

7.30am - up
8.30am - sling nap
9.30/10am - up
11/11.30am - cot nap (goes in awake, but is so tired, just passes out without fuss)
12noon - wake (AUGH!)
1pm - nap (in cot if he'll take it, if not, on me somehow)

if he napped on me then it's at least a one hour nap, if not, it's another half hour nap

Then that nap is repeated for third nap (split into two half hours or a full nap on me).
4/5pm - nap in sling
5/6pm - bedtime routine
7ish - DH bounces to sleep

So all naps, unless they are taken on me (sling or laying in hammock with me) are half an hour, then he wakes. Our night sleep is fine, he sleeps and wakes to feed as he should for his age but his daytime is just one long dragging mess. He grizzles after half an hour awake, I still think that's too soon for his age, and if I put him down then, it takes ages to get him to sleep so I can't seem to pick his tired signs. I've researched the pants off tired signs, I KNOW what to look for - I just can't seem to see them in him, or if I do, it means nothing to his settling.

[Sharon19270]

Happy 30th Birthday SG

Hope you have a fantastic time in Perth, shopping and eating.

We have the 'evil hands plotting' happening here too. He has also taken to starting to deliberately swipe at his toys on his play mat and on his bouncer, he seems to get cranky when his hands don't do what he wants them to. It also seems that the re-settling and then sleeping for a couple of hours was a fluke, he wasn't having a bar of it this morning, will see what happens after I get back from post office this morning but I don't like my chances.

Fire I think they are split the same way as the pregnancy buddies, so 1-15 April will be one group then 16-30 April will be another group, i'm guessing we will probably all pop into both.

[mgm]

I'm a bit puzzled as to why the group needs to be split. I would have expected that we'd be consulted about this. Surely 'too big' is only too big if we all think it is?

Fire my DS was a 20-minute napper for a long time. it used to irritate me when people would tell me to 'sleep when the baby sleeps'. What, for 20 minutes? I think you're doing well to get Ci to sleep in the cot, even if it's only half an hour. I've yet to have dd nap outside of the sling. Lucky she's such a little one or my back would be stuffed by now.

Nettie we're also into sucking hands over here. And of course clasping them - so sweet.

Shoegal happy birthday! Hope you have a wonderful time.

Well dd has hit the magical three month mark today. I expect great leaps forward in her sleeping and napping behaviour!! The last few nights have to go down as her worst ever. She's so congested and her coughing wakes her up. Ugh.

[BabyWrangler]

Hiya all!
OOh fingers crossed that she improves MGM!
Shoegal: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!
Nettie: Got the hand sucking going on here too...which is great cause he sucks his hands instead of the dummy.

Nasty Mummy Dummy Removal Service is going well...hasn't had the dummy for hearly 2 days now, and as long as we don't get caught up and hit overtired, he's settling well! The amount of time it takes to settle is less and less and he's re-settling himself most times if he wakes.
He's no longer wrapped (though because its been part of his routine I still do waist down so as not to change too many things at once), so at night time, from about 6pm its bottle (he usually has an arvo sleep from about 2 or 3 til 5:30 or 6pm...we wake him at 6), little play on the floor, bath, bit more bottle, nappy, waist wrap, into bed on his tummy, and a little bit off patting, then off to sleep.
Then he'll wake anywhere between 1:30am and 3am for a feed, then straight back into bed, less than 5 mins of patting, then thats it til between 6 and 7....
Im so proud of him!

We are going to give some farex a go tomorrow night....he's constantly chewing his tongue, and I think he will enjoy it!!

[sarah_dobbo2]

Morning all,

Have been away for few days. Got wardobes in they are wonderfull. Still trying to get orgainsed at the moment. I have boxes everywhere in lounge room. I washed all of my 00 clothes and hung up in NEW wardobes on Wyatt side. He is only just moving up, some stuff he still fits into 000 and he's got to be near 6.5-7kg. Love DS wardobe, have moved DD old pooh stick of old wardobe and put on his. Even love the design of a few draws on one side and double hanging on other side. DD, and Wyatt's not so much. We went to spotlight and brought some wall art sticker but haven't put them on. Would like another draw under the draw already there, so will have to get builder back. DD and DS will move rooms when Wyatt sleeps in his cot, and can settle himself.

I haven't even tried to change Wyatt over yet, were still only in there for playing. Everyone here is SICK AGAIN. Wyatt is so congested I feel sorry for the little bugger. He seem to be back in routine again, which is GREAT.

DS who we thought had cold/flew has an ear infection, which would explain why he is beings such a princess at the moment. He can cry at the drop of anything.

FIRE: Is the room you put Ci in cold? I know Wyatt wont go to sleep in cold room, so we put heater on when he in there which help him sleep longer. But I would recommend buying the Ergo infant insert for the cost of $33 it will save your back/front. I couldn't manage without mine. Wyatt will sleep in his for up 4hrs along as I get up and guggle him now and then.

BW: GREAT job on taking the dummy back.
Nettie: We too go to town on our hand over here. It's like gold take it away from me and I will cry.

Oh well I better go, we were ment to go to SNOW today but seem everyone is sick will have to go another weekend. So it's back to finish orgainsing kids wardobes and through heapsof junk out.

Hope all are coping well.

Cheers
Sarah

P.S. Will put photo of my GREAT wardrobe in galley.

[shellbell]

HI all,

Well first week back resulted in a trip to Sydney for training on Thursday and a very tired mummy!! I am luckythough, they let em take Luke to Sydney with me and are fine wiith me sitting in my office expressing and organising my appointments around expressing. The only problem I have had is that he tends to get fed more with his Nan than I would do. I think part of it is that DH's sister likes to feed him when she gets there in the afternoon and she didn't BF any of her 3 kids so neither her or Nan really get how precious the EBM is (i have found that this bottle only gets half drunk because Luke really doesn't need it so the remainder goes down the drain!!) I have had a chat to DH's mum and i think she gets it now. Also trying to train her to call me at lunchtime so I can feed him - had to have a talk about not only is feeding him a lunchtime something I want to do, it helps my supply and doesn't waste precious EBM! Luke is doing so well though - now into 0 sized clothes - giant big heffalump!

Fire If you only want to express to build a supply and don't want to increase supply, express 20 - 40 mls after a feed when you feel quite full. Expressing will increase your supply so I did it gradually (and regularly) so that I wouldn't take food off Luke and wouldn't increase my supply to the point where I couldn't manage it.

Have read all the posts, but tired and need to go into town to get more antibiotics (had mastitis last weekend and didn't get enough tablets for the 10 days). Miss you guys and it is great to hear that everyone is doing well.