Babies Born September 2007 #32

[AnyDream]

Gracie, at some point, for your own mental health, you will need to distract yourself by thinking of more positive things. Looking at Lewis and imagining those babies is not a healthy thing to do. You need to look at him and remind yourself of the ways in which you care for him and the ways in which you nurture and support other mothers in their parenting journey too. I have deliberately stayed away from posting in that thread because of my own experience of parenting neglect in my childhood and my everpresent fear that I'm not 'there' enough for my own girls. I dont think there will ever be any way any of us can make sense of what happened and in the meantime we need to look after ourselves how ever we can. xxx

[Ginger]

i know you're right md. i know.
i normally turn off the news straight away as soon as i see a story about any kind of animal cruelty eg. whaling as i can not handle it.
i have never been affected by a story about children in the same way as i have about this one. it is a combination of being a mother myself now, and her being from bb i think.
when i was pg someone gave me a card saying something along the lines of 'you won't believe the amount of love you will feel for your child, it is different from anything else you'll ever experience'. it is so true.

md- i didn't know you suffered from parental neglect in your childhood. i'm so sorry...and you are sooo there for your girls. you really are.

arte- i don't know what the dad was doing or thinking. i just don't know.


anyway.....time for some positive news. lewis is in the mid july spotlight catalogue. he's sitting up with a green polar fleece blanket wrapped around him. keep your eyes open!

[AnyDream]

Gracie I know you are a compassionate and gentle soul and that's why this is so hard for you . Yes it's also because we are now mummies and love our little ones so much that this is so hard.
When I was a young thing one of my coworker's baby drowned while we were all at work.
At the time all the mums at work flipped right out, we had to organise trauma counselling, it was too close to us all.
At the time I remember thinking how I wasn't as affected (no kids as my own) as some of the other ladies. But 2 years later I had Hannah and I've been freakishly paranoid about drowning ever since. It affected me at a really deep level that I didn't understand until I had my own babies to love and protect. We are biochemically set up at this stage of our babies' lives to overreact to any potential threats and this makes it harder to cope when we hear of tragedy involving babies and children. I'm only saying all this so we can all be gentle on ourselves for reacting in whatever way we are reacting. (That includes me too). That is so true about the amount of love you will experience, it is like nothing else in this lifetime!

And Woohoo for Lewis in the Spotlight catalogue! I've signed up to get them in the mail again so I will be on the lookout!

[Ginger]

thanks md- i feel a lot better knowing that my reaction is, in a way, kind of healthy and normal as a new mum. i've found it quite unnerving- how severe my reaction has been. as i said, and this may sound strange, but i've always been extremely sensitive to animal cruelty but not so much to children- quite strange i know. this has just hit me like a ton of bricks. thanks for sharing about your reaction to your work friend's tragedy. like you said, this has affected me at a really deep level that i'm having trouble understanding as i've never experienced it before.

i think i'm also struggling a bit cos dp is working such long hours atm. it's great for our finances, but he's doing 10 hr days, 6 days a week. on sundays all he wants to do is sleep. i feel like we never see him i know it's not nearly as bad as when dh's go away (md, pregpan) but i'm really starting to miss him. when he does get home from work late at night it's such chaos with dinner and bath and getting L to sleep.

more news from our little family unit- i've decided not to ttc until (at the least) next year. we were being very slack with contraception (in other words, not using it ) for a while there, but i've put the brakes on. dp wants us to get pg now! but i don't feel ready yet. i want some more time just with my little man.

[Junglemum]

Gracie- It's not strange that in the past you were more effected by cruelty to animals than children that too is normal, given that animals were probably closer to you then children were. Hey if your free this Thursday, a couple of us girls are meeting at Chirnside for a cuppa, be great to see you, and maybe it would make you feel a little better. Check out the not sleeping thread i had going that you posted in, details in there. I go to St Andrews market all the time, i love it. Would love to meet you there for a chai and a bit of shopping one weekend.
Can't wait for the spotlight catalogue now!

Cassius- Oh bummer about the braces. They're not so bad these days, the bits can be clear and are much smaller that they used to be. On the bright side, you'll have a great smile when they are done! I can't really sew, i'm just learning! I have been making pants for Lu.

MD- You give great advice.

Artechim- I have no idea on the whole 20/100 thing! Is that pretty severe? I was shortsighted, happened in my teens, but i had laser eye surgery, so no more glasses. It's great. I laughed when you said you ask how old babies are, i used to think it was silly when people asked all the time too, but now i do it!

Sherie- Those bendy glasses are the best, especially for kids. Why do you have until he is 9 to improve L vision? Is that when the eyes finish developing or something? Does he cope ok with the patch? Sometimes things like that are hard for kids, particularly at school. How good's the rain? We had 30mm too.

Sorry, my brain has gone to mush can't remember what else i was going to say!

[Isadora]

Guys I've been giving Maddie either panadol or nurofen at least once a day and sometimes at night for the past week, due to being ill. Is that really bad!? I'm worried now.

MD - Good advice! My dad too was raised in a neglectful environment and he has been the BEST dad ever, he has always been so cool and worked hard to pay for things that we wanted to do. I think once you've experienced that kind of environment you are an even better parent as you do whatever you can to ensure your children have the childhood that you deserved as a child. You are a great mum, how many mum's spend time decorating their daughters room!? Your girls are very lucky.

Gracie - Its hurtful to think that a mother, especially a BB mother, could do such a thing. She was unwell, which I know isnt an excuse, but she obviously needed some serious help. Try not to dwell on it so much, and you are right sometimes you just need to turn off the news or ignore certain articles because the amount of crap that goes on in this world is enough to cause a friggen mental breakdown! I hope you are feeling better.

[Ginger]

hi ange- i saw that you guys were meeting at chirnside on thurs but i've actually got mothers group at my house at 12pm that day. otherwise i would have loved to have come. please let me know the next time you go to st andrews and i'll meet you there. they have the best falafels ever. do you they have any baby stuff? last time i went was before i was pg and i ended up at the pub drinking pots

hayley- you're right, usually i'm ok at turning a blind eye at certain things but i got enthralled in that thread and couldn't stop
i'm sure the nurofen thing will be fine cos she's been so sick you've had no choice.

lewis is asleep again. he slept from 10am-12.30pm and then fell back asleep at 2.30pm and is still sleeping. he must be having a growth spurt yeah?

[Artechim]

Hayley, a dose of pain relief a couple of times a day is ok, as long as it is a short term thing. I was told by a dr after vaccinations it was fine to give panadol every 4 hours for 2-3 days so I am sure that what you are doing is fine. In South Africa they dose bubs with Codeine every few hours for pain relief, I am still in shock over that.

Ange, I was just looking at old threads and saw one you started about baby led solids. Are you still doing that? We haven't really given Will any spoon food. He will sometimes eat a couple of bites off a spoon but 99% of his food is self-fed finger food. It is working great for us.

Gracie, good to hear you have made a decision you are happy with re TTC. We have been slack with contraception too, but if I got pg it would have to be a cousin of christ because there isn't a lot of action around here LMAO

[Junglemum]

MM- i feel like i give Lu too much paracetamol too. I held off and held off today but her temp was 38.2 and rising, so i gave her some. When she had a virus last time, her temp was up to 39.9, i was giving her panadol about every 6 hours for 3 days. (i did see Dr and it was on his advice. ) As long as you are giving her panadol because she is in pain or has a fever and needs it, i don't think you are giving her too much. Bronchiolitis can be nasty and take a while to get over. I think you are doing a great job.

ETA- Art- yeah we still doo the BLS thing. She loves it. I help her with yoghurt and soup though, otherwise it ends up as hair gel! Oh and i sometimes try and feed her if we are out, just to save on the mess.

Bummer Gracie, next time. Will definately meet you at St Andrews sometime, they do have a bit of kids stuff, although the market changes from week to week, sometimes there is more than others. mmmmm i luff the falafel too!