Your story made me cry. I am so sorry that you had to go through that, nobody should have to go through that much hurt and pain and you should never blame yourself! sometimes they can't explain what happened and it will just hurt you more if you blame yourself. And i agree with SS_Storm in that your partner is dealing with it the way all men deal with things, he probably feels that he needs to be strong for you and he just doesnt know how to handle it all.

Heres another hug