Thank you all for your kind words and thoughts... I am a waterfall of emotions and go from being ok and think, yep I can do this. To breaking down and not knowing how I can get through the pain.

My partner has still not given me any reaction... after tue he did not even come home until I begged him on Friday.. he did for a couple of hours but if I tried to talk about it would tell me to stop winging at him or he would go back out... which he did a few hours later, I asked him, dont you know what I am feeling.. he said "dont you f'n know I have feelings too" I guess this is just his way of dealing with it... pretending nothing has happend?

My best friends have been amazing... and so has the vodka lol... I just wish my love would give me something... I hope he will soon.

I think perhaps it may be hard for him as he was so excited and told so many people about our baby.. where as I only told my best frineds and family.. Perhaps me being over cautious, over stressed that somehting would go wrong.. caused this to happen? I just wish I could go back I wish with all of my heart my little was still growing inside me. I feel like I am dying inside.