Susannah,

I'm so sorry for your loss. It is a hard thing to go through. I felt the same as you during my frist pg and at 18 weeks I had my feelings confirmed that my bubba was gone. It doesn't make your sadness or grief any less.
You will need to give yourself time to grieve your bubba. Take time alone if you can to cry and kick and scream if you need to. Could you maybe leave your DD with someone and have a few hours with your DH to just be together.
I hope I'm not being offensive in saying that, I noticed in your ticker that you have had a few m/c's in a row. Are you having any tests and things done? Maybe that will help ease your mind. I know when I had my second m/c I had lost of tests and things done and it helped a bit to know what was going on. And perhaps some councelling? I never had any but now in hindsight I think it would have been good for me to talk to someone about my feelings. Someone not close to me and removed from the situation.
Try to take it easy. Again I'm sorry for your loss. Sending BIG HUGS.