I just cant be honest with them mainly because we have no idea what happened yet and the boys are only 5 and 3 and my little girl is only 21 months.. they do still kiss my belly and they just dont get that Bubba will not be coming home. I have explained that bub is in heaven and that heaven is a great place for a baby to be and now my 3 year old wants to go live in heaven too..

and it is hard that i am still in pysical pain too.. i just didnt expect it to be a normal labour,
i know it will get easier eventually but it just feels like our lives will never be normal again.