Bec- I am so so sorry for your loss and the pain you now feel. I know how it feels and it's awful. And it's the fact you can't just try again to have a baby- it's facing IVF and the uncertainty and limbo again. That is really tough, on top of grieving for baby Vanilla.

It gets easier bit by bit, but dont expect too much of yourself for quite a while. Dont beat yourself up for the way you feel or expect yourself to suddenly be big and strong, if you still feel really fragile. It's been months now since my last miscarriage and I still have bad days.
Doing something to remember your baby by is a great idea. DH and I lit a candle with each of our losses and said a few words as a goodbye. We did the same thing when a due date recently came up...I also write things down, which I find is a good way to vent, as is this site- it's helped me through.
I hope it doesnt take you too long to fall pregnant again and hope we have our forever babies soon
Emma xx