When you had a baby- what you expected Vs Reality!

[Ambah]

I've been thinking on this further, and another big thing that I did not realise about becoming a mother was that I would lose my 'sense of self' for a long time. This is probably related to the state of shock I mentioned in my earlier post.... because once I had this new baby in my arms, all of sudden I was just not the same anymore... its like I lost much of my individual identity and it was now purely about Aidyn... nearly everything I did and thought about was related to him... The first time I went out without him when he was a few months old, I felt anxious, exposed and uncomfortable - like half of me was missing. As mentioned before, I guess this is all just mothering instinct, to ensure the survival of our young... but it was definitely something I hadn't realised would happen, nor I don't think its something anyone can prepare for!
I wonder if I will feel it as strongly for baby #2 though?

[Janie]

Ditto Ambah! That, along with our long-term Bfing issues, has been the biggest change for me. And coming to terms with having a prem baby, though to a lesser extent than the other issues.

I expected everything else. I KNEW that I would be sleep-deprived etc etc, all the other things you girls have mentioned. I did expect to have some 'normal' amount of difficulty in establishing BFing, but I didn't expect that at 3.5 months it would be perhaps even more tricky, and not likely to improve in the near future. I assumed that because I wanted it so much, and was prepared to work on it, that it would eventually come together. It took me 10 weeks to realise that it doesn't always work like that.

And yes, the loss of sense of self, is somewhat surprising to me. Not in a bad way, it has just been unexpected. I knew I would be besotted with him, but I didn't really realise that my every thought and movement would revolve around him.

[kungfubecca]

Oh my, I've been waking up in the middle of the night before Xavier and then wondering where he is (he's in his cot) but everytime I think that he's in bed with me, and I feel around really gently moving sheets etc looking for him, and then I start to wake up better and realise, lol his in his own bed.

[StrawberryMumma]

Oh my, I've been waking up in the middle of the night before Xavier and then wondering where he is (he's in his cot) but everytime I think that he's in bed with me, and I feel around really gently moving sheets etc looking for him, and then I start to wake up better and realise, lol his in his own bed.

I do the EXACT same thing!

Ambah and Sez- Definitely agree and feel the same as you guys..I don't feel like 'myself' anymore- well not my old self anyway. Guess I'm a 'different' self that's all.

Another thing I didn't really imagine (to this extent anyway), was that everyone that comes over to visit, clearly says they are coming over to see Laila. And that's who they ask about on the phone etc. What about meee?! No one says how am I going! It feels like I am not important enough anymore! I know it sounds silly..Maybe that's something that contributes to the loss of self thing, as it feels like people don't really recognise me as a person anymore...
(I think I have just written a whole heap of rubbish that doesn't make sense! )