lulu - i can see why you're saying no one will be hurt - honest i can - but for me, i can't see a need for multiple accounts if both parents don't agree with it. and i really can't see why handing over your DD's birth certificate to someone is something that should be discarded as a non-event. it is proof of identity. having it gives you access to lots of services for that child - not just opening a bank account. if the partner is threatening to leave if it isn't handed over, i would feel VERY protective of that piece of ID for the child. you know yourself all it takes to prove ID for a child for FTB purposes is a birth certificate...

maybe i'm thinking it through too much - but really, how hard is it to put money into an existing account? it's not. how hard is it to talk things through rather than going behind someones back? it's not.

i think if TK feels suspect, then she is right to not go ahead with handing over the documents - if they want her to go with them to open an account and the bank can confirm that a non-guardian can open the account, fine - but you shouldn't feel obliged to hand something over to grandparents if you don't want to... i sure as hell wouldn't hand over DD's birth certificate to anyone - including my parents - and i'm on reasonably good terms with them and see them weekly!