kateo, I'm truly sorry for your loss.
We can never know what might have been, but it must be impossible sometimes not to wonder: What if...?

I know that sometimes my own experiences cloud my perspective and sometimes I react to things that really don't concern me because I fear that others will experience what I did. And I'm sorry for that, because I know it probably isn't helpful at all. Really, all I want is for all mothers to feel cared for and loved as they birth their babies, confident in the people that are helping them.