Jols.

I think the best thing that you can get from your first birth (well besides Sophie...der Sam ) is knowing.
Knowing what you do and don't want to happen again!

My first labour was going along great guns till I laid on my back and then it went bad. I ended up not being able to push out Mason and nobody suggested an upright position. Instead I had the OB on one leg and a midwife on the other .They told my to push my foot into their hips and then they pushed my knees up to my ears while I beared down. That is what I believe caused the back problems I have now because the pain I remember from Mason being born was from my back, pelvis and hips. I didn't feel any tearing and I had a 2nd degree tear!
I refuse to lay on the bed for my other 2 births. There was no way! I was up on my knees when it was pushing time and that was where I stayed Before that I was in the tub or bouncing on the ball.

Don't be scared Jols be prepared. You already know you won't have any pethadine because you didn't like the way it made you feel. Write it in your birth plan and tell them under no circumstances to offer it to you!

I agree a Doula can be a wonderful way to help you feel supported and achieve the birth you want. I have seen one of the best in action and think they are wonderful. I'd definitely have one if there was a next time