Big squooshy hugs Jols.

Sammi's right, you can use Soph's birth experience to make some really firm decisions about what you'd like for your next labour. You already are, and that's awesome.

When it comes to not remembering, well, I had no drugs, but I can hardly remember a thing, so don't feel you're worse off there! My hormones kinda put me into this trance...which is where a doula/birth support person is great - I still ask Cobes (birth support/student middy/friend) ooh, what did I say here, or where was Riv when this happened, or how long did this take - I have no clue!

And even with my relatively uncomplicated and straightforward labour (though I did end up with a minor tear), I'm still a bit apprehensive about the birth - though less and less as I grow more and more uncomfy.

And I think it's so grouse you're getting a doula, I reckon Cobes made such a difference for me - just having that extra person to encourage/assist. I wasn't concerned about Rans at all and I had someone to advocate for me - not that that was really necessary at the birth centre. Would you consider birthing at the Family Birth Centre next time? I loved my waterbirth...

I think perhaps a doula will help you retain that feeling of control too - they know your preferences, and will help you have the birth you're after, and if for whatever reason intervention is needed, they will get the hospital to consult with you, based on what they know you want, instead of intervention 'happening' to you because you and dh aren't in a position to advocate for yourselves. Am I making sense?

Anyway, while I haven't experienced what you have, I still wanted to come in with my encouragement, who knows what a birth will be like, they're as different and unique as the children that come at the end.
But it sounds like you're going to give yourself the best possible chance at the birth you want next time round - and really, what more can you do?
Can't wait til you're pregnant, by the way.