So you don't think he's going to come to the party on this with you? Do you think maybe that he is still dealing with a little bit of trauma as well from your last birth? Men handle these things differently to women. From what I have read about the place, men seem to be the ones who tend to go rushing for medicalised birth when there has been a previous trauma because they seem to think that Dr's can stop all of these bad things happening again. But what they neglect to realise is that it is the Dr's who more often than not create the trauma. They don't equate homebirth (for example) as being 'safe', they only see it as being dangerous because if the trauma that occurred last time was in a hospital, how is being at home away from all the machines that go ping going to be any better kwim? Men who seem to be able to understand all that tend to be a rare creature indeed. If a woman had a PPH in a hospital that was caused by interventions etc, a man might only focus on that if you suggested homebirth and start with 'what if you bleed', not realising that when you are away from the interventions, then you are LESS likely to bleed.

I really think that for you to get your E, that you just need to work on him and help him understand why this is what you want. Most of the time fear is borne out of simply not understanding the situation properly and I reckon if you can get to that point where YOU are 100% happy with what is going to happen. You need to start at D to be able to get your E does that make sense? If he understands all that you are telling him and why it is so important that you do it, then he will be more likely to accept that you want to do it your way. If you start at D, he gets a chance to validate his concerns and it lets him have an input.

When I said above that I know I couldn't birth with confidence without DH's support, that is coming from my own situation where there has never been any trauma. I never had that baggage I had to deal with first. I imagine that if I had a traumatic birth, then my whole perspective on this question would be different, especially if some of the trauma happened because I wasn't supported by him or if he let things happen that shouldn't have happened.

So you are coming at this from a completely different experience to what I was and I totally understand that there is a need for some women to completely reclaim their bodies and their births by doing E. I just think that to get to E, you probably do need to work through the others first