Sushee, I absolutely know how you feel. An almost identical thing happened to me with Jack. The only difference was I had to take all the days. We decided to take the spot (3 months before I'd been planning to start back) and I started back early as I couldn't really afford the spot without the income. It was so hard at the time, and the decision weighed me down as the time approached (luckily I had a month and a half notice as it was a new centre opening). But now, I am so glad we took the spot. We wouldn't have got him in otherwise, and having him close to work was wonderful. DH and I were working the same building at the time too so the three of us went in together and home together on my work days (4 days a week). We saw Jack every lunch time (I bf and then we all played for a while). It was great having him so close, seeing him during the day and having that extra time together. It was definitely the right decision to take the spot and go back early even though I really did not feel ready at the time. I hope that you feel more at peace with this decision as the time approaches, and I am sure that you too will find it is worth it to have him closer to you during the day. All the best with it Sushee, I know how hard it is.