Sushee I can totally relate. When DD was 6 months old, I went back to work two days a week and my sister looked after her for one of those days (DH on the other). I will always remember the night before I went back, sitting on the loungeroom floor holding DD and bawling my eyes out (sorry.... that probably doesn't help).

I only worked for 3 months and then we went overseas. It didn't get any easier for me, but I did get to a place of acceptance and peace about it. So I don't think you'll know how you're going to feel about it until it actually happens, IYKWIM.

I think Kellie has a good idea.... just because you're paying for the whole day each week, doesn't mean you have to put him in for a whole day. You now have the luxury of a slow introduction, if that's what you want. (eg one hour the first week, two hours the second etc etc)

All the best Sushee... I don't have any answers Angst and montherhood go hand in hand, sometimes