i don't have a miracle answer hun - but i did want to pop in here and say that i completely understand that feeling - it's hard to be dtd on a schedule - when all you want is to feel "connected"d in the moment. i think a lot of us have been through this, and i look forward to reading the suggestions others have for you

personally, we've made a concerted effort to not dtd on a schedule - yeah, there is minimal chance of a natural conception here, but we're still giving it a go - and we look to being spontaneous (easier for us, as no child to work around) and focussing on romancing each other - and if we miss a day or dtd two days in a row - well, so be it - it's suggested every second day - there is no rule saying it is the only way (and having done IUI - we've been told to dtd again within 24 hours as a "back up" so the every second day rule is out the window there!) - we're human, not robots - and i've found focusing on the emotional side of our relatioship has made the sexual side more enjoyable again