Only just found this section/thread.

Just briefly (my boys are being quite noisy ATM) I'll have to come back later... but essentially I think that much conflict in the world could be resolved if people considered the benefits of taking responsibility for their emotions (which are not always appropriate or helpful). Emotions do not always have lives of their own... you don't have to say "well I can't help how I feel". People often can.... and would be a lot happier if they could. I'm not saying I can always control mine! Like FC I too find it incredibly difficult to always modify my emotions but I aspire to it... because I know that when I do I often feel a lot more at peace with my self and my world. I know, for example, if I didn't choose to avoid hating certain people in my life that that hate would consume me... so for my own sanity I choose a different emotion: hard to explain but it's more like an acceptance of what has happened and an acknowledgement that as awful as what it was it has made me the person who i am today (who due to to the events I think have a lot more empathy for other people than if I hadn't endured them). So due to at least one significant success (in avoiding a life hating = pain) I am very keen to learn more. I'll look into those people you mentioned Deb... thankyou for starting this thread I'll be back!