I think liz28 said it very well - self awareness only enhances our empathy for others. I can be responsible for my emotions without riding roughshod over others. Doesn't mean I always do, cause I'm still learning. But sometimes this newfound clarity can help in facilitating better mutual understanding.

The hot coal quote is great, I like that.

Can we control our emotions? I'm not sure. They seem to spring up from somewhere out of our control. Certainly we can claim them as our own, rather than blaming others. And we can control the way we react to them. Maybe we can divert our (bad) emotions and take power away from them.