I am sorry you feel this way hun
Perhaps get yourself a 'positive board' that has photos of you, that you like, positive quotes, affirmations etc and look at it everyday, focus and be happy.
I have never met you but you seem like SUCH a wonderfully supportive woman who I would be glad to have in my corner...
As for hit with ugly stick, next time say have I? Well you are about to be hit by 18,000 hormonal BB members with bats LOOK OUT!!!

Chin up hun love yourself as much as everyone else does