Why is it we blame the community and not the people or better yet ourselves?

[Liz]

I guess for me I see our community like any other... almost like a school yard if you will. There are many different types of people, and some stick together and some don't and then there are the ones that regardless of the clothes they wear, or the beliefs they hold they flit to and from them all. And sometimes the loudest group shiats off the rest and sometimes everyone joins in and makes fun out of it. But in the end when there is a crisis they are all there to hold each other up no matter what.

I see it like that too

I agree with other posters about it being a general shift in attitude/behaviour that is easier to get upset with rather than individuals. There are a few people who I too cringe at when I see they've posted. But I've never had an ignore list! Wow... so some of you have a long ignore list?? I think that in itself speaks quite loudly about the "community" here, and I think that's a bit sad that members are being ignored I'm pretty unphased by things as well. Some threads get me thinking and I let myself get involved, but I'm rarely upset by anything I read or debate about. Water off a duck's back

I do think tho that it's fair enough to be upset about the feel of a community as a whole. We often hear of people leaving mother's groups/playgroups because they didn't like the general feel of the group, not necessarily the individuals, just that little community in general. Some people don't like going to clubs because they don't like the general feel of that group of people or the way things are "done" there. If someone doesn't like the way the things are "done" here or the way people behave here, I think that's fine. I think it's a bit silly to persevere and keep hanging out here if it's really upsetting you. Move on and find a place that does work for you.

And back to the school yard analogy.. yes, there is school yard politics and that's not laying blame with the school, but if you are unhappy with the way the school is run or it's philosophy, or the way it handles situations, then it IS the school, so you either give it some more time or you change schools. Not really different to which parenting forum you decide to frequent

ETA: just realised I didn't think about the 'blaming ourselves' bit. Will be back after some thought