Why is it we blame the community and not the people or better yet ourselves?

[Bumperstump Cummerbund]

I definitely get different 'vibes' from BB at different times. For the past couple of weeks its kinda felt dead to me, nothing exciting happening (from my perspective), just the same old posts. Then yeah, the train wreck of the past few days. And slowly it's turning into the lovefest that always happens after the trainwrecks. All in a cycle

I hafta admit to blaming the community as a whole sometimes. For instance, I find it very overwhelming and confronting when I've said something in a thread and suddenly everyone's on top of me, saying I'm wrong. More often than not, I've used the wrong word and mean something completely different to what I've said, but it's like I'm drowning and can't catch my breath, and I feel like I'm not given the chance to explain myself. This has only happened twice that I can think of, and if I start to get that feeling from threads these days, I just won't even bother posting. It's not that I think my opinion isn't worthy of being in the thread, it's more that I'm scared of the backlash. I know its totally my issue, and I know that when it happens it's not anyones intention to beat me down.

With the ignore list, I've only ever considered it for, I think 3 members? As in truly, deeply considered it. I've never done it though, because I kinda feel that I would be giving up on myself and my chance for personal growth, and that if someone's annoying me that much that I need to 'ignore' them, there's something wrong in me y'know? After butting some SERIOUS head with one member, I was ready to ignore her, but I ended up PMing my response rather than putting it on the board, and made a smartass comment about knowing she wouldn't care how her posts were coming across but I had to tell her anyway - and she was genuinely upset that her posts were coming across that way. I wouldn't say we're best of friends now, but I don't cringe when I see her name, so that's a plus I guess

I also tend to hold myself to a MUCH higher standard than I would hold anyone else, be it on BB or anywhere else. For instance Rouge, when you say you have an ignore list to preserve your sanity, I agree with you and I think it's a great idea. But I would never let myself have one, because if it were me it's immaturity, whereas if it's anyone else, it's completely justified.

This is a very interesting thread Rouge And FWIW Astro, I miss you around the boards! I used to be kinda scared of you, but having you as a FB friend has been excellent for making me realise you're just a person like anyone else. In the words of a wise ex mod - 'Mods are people too'