PZ - you are very right.

I think it cuts both ways though.
I feel like I want to give specific examples, but I don't want anyone to think I am purposely targeting them. So I will try to give more general examples.

When women here want to celebrate their gorgeous, natural births, or their breastfeeding experiences, or their 'attachment' parenting and are told they are 'making' other people feel guilty, then that makes me sad Because BB was the place you could once come to in order to do just that
Celebrating something is great. If you are into gentle parenting or attachment parenting or homebirthing or whatever, that is fabulous. Share it with the community. However, don't expect everyone else to hold the same ideals or values. Don't make judgements against those who don't value or hold these things important. No-one is saying you cann't enjoy or believe these things, but you need to understand that as strongly as you feel for these, there are going to be others for feel just as strongly against. Likely if you are very passionate about your beliefs, then you are not going to understand why or how others could be well imformed and feel so strongly the oppersite - but that doesn't mean that it isn't the case.

There was a thread floating around where someone asked for help in regards to them 'wanting' a c-section. This person was IMO attacked and interogated for their desire to have one. This wasn't what she had posted the thread for. She had posted to ask for help to get what she wanted, not to be told that she 'shouldn't' want it. Unless she chooses to share her reasonings, it was no-one elses business 'why', and no-one elses place to convince her otherwise. If you didn't have information for her, then like my mum always said "If you have nothing good to say, then better to say nothing".

I know how many members here feel about circumsicion. But when I had (in the past) posted asking if anyone knew of any practicing doctors in my area who would perform one, that was all I was asking. I did not require, ask for or appreciate the numerous posts for everyone else voicing their 'concern's.

If anyone went onto a thread about how fabulous co-sleeping is, and started pushing their own agenda about how they think it is horrible because x,y,z - it would be equally unappeciated.

FWIW - I don't subscribe to any particular 'theory' about parenting or childbirth. Since when did parenting or childbirth require a theory? I parent how I 'feel'. I do alot of it by instinct. I do alot of things my parents did. I make it up as I go along. I sometimes pick things up off friends, family or BB. I have found different things work with each different child. I DO NOT believe there is a right way to do something. I have co-slept, I have had them sleep alone, I have cuddled to sleep, I have used CC (and I would again if it made sense to), I have bf, I have ff, I have introduced solids both early and late, I have used midwives, I have used OB's, I have liked both and would recommend either, I have had three completely natural births ALL in hospitals, I would have choosen the epidural 2/3 times - if possible - and will be next time if able), I have used disposables, I have yelled at my kids, I have smacked them, I have used time out, I have circumsiced my boys. I am not a perfect mother. I am not the best mother. Sometimes I struggle just to make it though the day, others I cann't believe how joyous and easy having three kids is. I am (I believe) a good mother. I have done as best I have could by my children.

There is a story behind every decision. I could explain those stories if I choose and no matter how for or against a belief people are, most will see the 'exceptions' if shown in the right light. Me, I think everything is the exception, until proven otherwise.

I accept that BB will always have certain bias'. That is part of it's creation. It means that I will find more people on BB with certain leanings then I might IRL. This doesn't bother me. You get bias' everywhere. I know myself. And I know regardless of whether I agree with these bias' or not, I am confident enough in myself to exist and remain as a member.

No-one wants to make anyone feel guilty for having particular beleif, whether the norm or not. But acceptance is a two way street, it is hard to be accepting of anothers beliefs when they are busy riduculing your own. You may not be forcing another to feel guilty - guilt is a feeling they must take ownership of themselves: however you may ask yourself "what is your intention?" And "are you going the best way about doing that?"

If you want to inform, you first need to see if you have a receptive audience, sometimes people just don't want information. But you also need to make sure you are presenting information in a non-accusory format. If you aren't sure, read it back to yourself, only change the information in it to say the oppersite and see what your reaction to it is.

You may not be 'making' someone feel guilty, but if someone is feeling that way, I do think you have a resposibility to ask "what is my ownership in that exchange?" Did I come across as accusetory? Did I want them to feel like that? Was I harsher then nessecary? (I ask myself this last one ALL the time)

Honestly I think it is a good thing all these threads have been started recently, because they have felt like the elephant in the room; and finally people are talking about the things that are bothering them.