ecspecially this bit

You may not be 'making' someone feel guilty, but if someone is feeling that way, I do think you have a resposibility to ask "what is my ownership in that exchange?" Did I come across as accusetory? Did I want them to feel like that? Was I harsher then nessecary? (I ask myself this last one ALL the time)
I do see alot of people questioning how you can have osmeone make you feel guilty. I think you have hit the nail on the head perfectly!! We are all sensitive and have dark moments when we are trying to reach out not to be nailed to a stake.

I remember the c/s thread you were talking about...my heart broke for the OP of it as the first 2 posts were straight to 'the throat'. Kind gloves are much nicer then rough hands at times.

Now to share the love