wow my eyes have been opened in this thread !
what i really don't get is my brother 100% supporting her and completely blocking me, he and i were both living in london in our 20's, mum came over to visit for a month, one particular day (my birthday) she carried on about something and created such a scene ruining my birthday and asking me why i hated her so much, my brother and her didn't speak for months after she went home over it and so thats why i don't understand him now, she knows what he is like so why isn't he supporting me ?
I'd say the first issue - bringing it up on your birthday - had to do with this: Your Success and Happy Days - Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers and you'll probably find the issue with your brother has to do with him being the Golden Child and you being the Scape Goat - Golden Child Scapegoat - Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers I was the Scape Goat in my family and my brothers still can't see that there is anything wrong with things that happened. It's frustrating and it's lonely. I was also told by everyone around me that I was lucky. I believed them too until I realised that not everyone was like that.

DH was neither the GC or the SG in his family. His brother was the GC and his sister was the SG. Funnily enough, neither of them can see any problems with the way his parents are and I suspect that DH's brother has developed a NPD all of his own complete with dillusions of granduer.