We have four kids and we have to consciously make time to be intimate. This is very important in our relationship.
Usually the best time for us is pretty much as soon as all the children are in bed. Having a 12 year old who goes to sleep at 8.30, we usually lock the door as soon as her light is turned off. This means talking about it that day and choosing to be with each other and not watch movies or play on computers, otherwise time gets away and I am usually pretty tired if I stay up too late. Sometimes we both wake up super early before anyone wakes up around 5.30, I feel less tired and it's a great way to start the day!!!

THe touching thing can change for me, sometimes my energy is low, especially if the children have been quite needy. I tell hubby I am feeling like that and he knows he needs to just give give give and not have expectations, this usually fills me up with energy and then I have something to give back... its hard to explain that in words... but when he is wanting and needy as well I feel more drained and less likely to have anything loving to give. He doesn't take it personally, he knows that mothering is physically demanding and I adore taht he can see that and be really understanding.

Recently my libido has come back in full force (youngest 9mths old) I think it has something to do with my cycle starting up again. I am enjoying having it back again!!!

If you and your partner can have a chat about how you both feel and really listen to the other without taking anything personally that wwould open up a place for you to work out what would work in your house.

Your daughter won't be missing out if you pay a babysitter... parents that love each other and find time to connect, how could she be missing out, if you both flourish as individuals and a couple because you made time to be intimate??