Like many of the PP i used a similar method when we cut out a night feed (not bedtime).
Often MJ will cry in bed and not wantto be touched, but want me there, other times she will want stoking or patting. She lets me know by either pushing my hand away or pulling it up.
She has a toy with her that again she may or may not use as a comforter.

Over the last few months she has changed the way that she settles, often she will cry going to sleep, want me there but nothing else. if i try and soothe her, it make matters worse. DH has commented that its almost like she needs to cry.

I guess from my POV i think they are saying that rocking/shushing/patting a baby that doesnt want to have these things (because you want to settle them) doesnt help - dont get me wrong have spend many a night rocking and patting and shushing and singing - but somtimes it seemed hopeless.

Like Sam, reading this was like a lightbulb for many of the nights, MJ will still feed to sleep some night others she wont (maybe if we are looking at this style of parenting, she doenst need to cry)

I also agree totally with Willows points, crying is not negative, it is the only method that our babies have to communicate with us.... I was a big fan of the Dunstan Baby Language, it worked incredibly for us and as a result i was able to understand what MJ wanted and feed her only when she was hungry. Learning what her crys meant in the early days meant that she didnt get to a hysterical stage, but was able to cry and let us know what she needed.

I think that it is so hard (for me anyway) to actually pin point a style of parenting that i follow - mine is My way, i follow what i think she needs, if it feels right and it works, well then thats what we do... if it doesnt feel right we dont do it and if it doesnt work, we dont try it again....

there is no instruction manual, and even if there was MJ cant read it so she doenst know what this book says!!!

Very interesting article thanks