Possums
I think it is only natural for you to be feeling as you do at the moment as you are facing two very difficult time - cancelling a cycle and the impending due date of your angle baby. I wish I had the answers for you, but I can only support what has been already suggested - talk to your FS about other options for cycles.

As for this being your fault because of the APLS etc - it is not! In fact by finding out about the condition you are giving yourself the best change of a baby - so it is a positive, not negative - although I know how hard it is to see this.

Big hugs and am always here for you.
FG